2 day old problems

[Zara1984]

Had my baby boy in the wee hours of Sunday. Due to meconium & resuss issues and then (due to hospital busyness) getting kicked out to postnatal ward really fast it was a struggle to get first feed sorted until about 5 hours after birth.

Since then it's like he's not really interested in the boob or in feeding (he's quite sleepy)? Have had a few good sucking sessions but its always a struggle (can get 1-2 hours to get started), including completely undressing him and doing skin to skin. Lots of meconium nappies but only 1 nappy with wees in it. He's quite snotty and has coughed up blood & mec.

Current failed bf session has led to him being skin to skin under my nightie & cardigan - but no rooting, he's sound asleep! Last feed was at 8am.

Paediatrician has said I can pump colostrum & give by syringe if I want (midwives they were suggesting it yesterday but with formula).

Any tips?? I so want to get bf established :( I feel like a leper because I'm the only mum bfing (well trying to) on my ward and I keep having staff come round asking if I want bottles made up. :(

Hizara. I was exactly like you with dd1. I feel your pain. Pumping is something that takes time to get used to. I found the electric pump much better but still only got off 20ml at a time. The most important thing for you now is to get some of the milk off to ease the discomfort and make your breasts softer and avoid mastitis. . I had a warm bath and showered breasts with warm water then put on warm flannels. The milk just flowed and eased the pain. For very sore breasts soak nappies in cold water. Squeeze out the excess and put nappies on boobs. PUt i fridge if necessary They stay cold for a while and are nice and soft for you.

Hopefully you will get someone out to visit you today as it sounds like what you need. For ongoing support do you have a children's centre or baby cafe?

I understand your frustration and pain. But it's still early days. I second lots of skin to skin and trying to rest as much as possible, not easy when trying to feed, express, etc I know. Sounds like dh and mil are being helpful.

Congratulations on the arrival of your little boy!

You are doing a great job!

Just to reassure you my DD struggled to feed when she was born. I had her on the monday and she didn't really feed in hospital at all. We left on the Thurs night because i hated it in hosp!

On the Friday a midwife told us to monitor length and side of feed until she came on Sat because i was worried about the lack of feeding. She had about 30 5mins feed throughout the day.

On the sat the midwife came to see us and gave me some syringes so i could express (used tommee tippee manual) milk and syringe it in to her. It seemed to kickstart her and from then on we had no problems. I think syringing my milk relaxed me which in turn enabled her to feed.

If you are still having problems expressing, it can be easier if you look at your baby (or a pic of them) while you pump.
I gave ebm in a bottle (used tommy tippee closer to nature - I think they are really good) because feeding didn't work well for first week. But I kept offering breast too, and as she got bigger it just got easier, and soon I could put away the bottles and pump and just ebf.
If there is a breast feeding cafe at your local children's centre I'd recommend that too - you can get some good advice (some of it might conflict though) but more importantly meet other mums having similar issues. Very best of luck, and congratulations!

You're doing really well zara, I know it doesn't feel like it right now. My DS1 was exactly the same - pethidene 45 mins before birth due to a very quick labour. BF is hard. It took me 3 weeks to get it established and 12 weeks for it to be natural. We then went to 13 months so he got the hang of it in the end.

Parenting is full of conflicting advice. With BFing. Everyone was trained at different times so the basic advice can be different because of that and the importance the individual puts on the mother's mental health. I was frantic by day 6, spent all my time crying and started obsessing about it.

If I had my time again with DS1 what would I do:

1. Spend first week in bed and get people running around after us - your only job is to feed that baby - however you want to
2. Listen to one community midwife alone not try to balance everyone's views
3. Have my DS checked out for TT
4. Go and see a cranio-osteopath with him as he grizzled for 6 months
5. Get advice on co-sleeping safely
6. Pay more attention to my instincts around the baby - I knew when he had a big feed and perhaps wanted a break from feeding but I had 3-4 hours in my mind!
7. Give myself a break - I put too much pressure on myself to follow the rules properly

It will get better. Whilst it feels like there is no end in sight this is temporary. My DS is now 10 and he has three brothers.

You're doing brilliantly. Chin up love

Oh Zara....I wonder what you would think if I said 'stay off the internet for a bit' ?

There's too much 'stuff' in this thread, some of it contradictory and confusing, for someone in distress and exhaustion like you.

It's not that there is stuff here that's especially wrong but it is confusing :(

I think you need real life help from someone you trust and who is knowledgable about early bf. This does not have to be a lactation consultant; it can be a good community midwife.

Ask about doing the basics: skin to skin, not struggling with your baby to feed (who may well have some 'issues' with having been handled, mucus removal, messed about with by different hands, and he needs a bit of peace and the chance to come back to the breast on his own terms). Hand expression of colostrum - a few mls is fine, and he can have it on a spoon.

Just basics - enabling your baby to feed :)

I can't see the reason for warm packs, cool packs, pumps, trying to get him to wake, timings. Just the basics for the moment and seeing someone you trust.

One important thing-no water (unless mw has said otherwise) he will need energy not his tiny tummy filling with water.

Aside from that, we had to give formula in the first well, kept bfing before it and he was ebf after that.

You're not doing anything wrong. Sometimes it takes a while to get breastfeeding sorted out - I had lots of similar issues to you and am now still feeding DS at 16 months. I am not an expert though, I am sure people will be along with better advice. To me it sounds like your milk is coming in now, if your boobs are hot and sore. I found feeding got easier after that. I would just keep going with doing what you're doing. I had to do some expressing when DS was in SCBU as he was too sleepy to feed and it didn't do any harm to breastfeeding.

TBH your hospital sounds rubbish. Is there any chance of asking to transfer to a midwife-led unit? (I did this after DS was able to leave special care and it was SO much nicer)

Hi Zara, congratulations on your baby! I hope you are getting some sleep...

Not much to add really except to second what others have said - don't worry if you can't use the pump, it is very early days and you won't get much at all. If you are still sore I would say a warm cloth and hand expressing will help to ease your discomfort and also make it easier for baby to latch on.

It sounds like you have been getting good support from your DP and MIL - that's wonderful. Use them for everything you can!

And don't forget to drink plenty and have something to eat. You have to remember to look after yourself in all of this as well!

Also try not to worry too much about feeding every 3 hours on the dot - you will both be all over the place at the moment. When I first brought mine home they would go anywhere between 1 and 5 hours - it took a good number of weeks for them to get a bit more predictable!

I had a rubbish time in hospital with BF. I was the only one BF on an overcrowded ward with a baby who was crying a lot. The other mothers kept tutting and sighing and there was no privacy. if I closed the curtains then someone would came and open them again. I needed to feed during visiting hours, was struggling with it and everyone was watching!
My milk took 3 days to come in, the nurses were nice but one of the lactation people was a monster-she actually manhandled my boobs to try and get DS to latch on.
In the end I went home, my community mdwife was lovely, and I phoned a breastfeeding helpline a couple of times. I wouldn't worry about frequency of feeding. Waking bay to feed?? No point. If he is asleep try to get some rest youself!!
Both my two fed all day then slept longer at night. My mother, who was told 4hourly feeds for us when we were young, couldn't understand that mine were feeding every 2 hours. As long as your baby is growing its all ok. If boobs are engorged express a little just to allow baby to attach. It can be sore to start with- try to relax.
10 days after my first baby I almost gave up- 2 cracked nipples which was excruciating. We then got snowed in for 3 days with no electricity- I had no formula at home so I had to get on with it!!
With DS2, he was born at 9pm and I was out of that hospital at 9 the next morning!

Oh and the thing about bottle and boob being incompatible is a load of rubbish! I was exhausted with DS2 at about 4 months. DS1 was a high maintenance toddler and by the end of the day I was so wrecked I could barely function. I introduced a formula feed at bed time and it saved my sanity. Continued with BF at other times till he was about 10months.

As for expressing to help him latch on, if you've been shown how to hand express, get in a warm shower and do it. The warm water helps with the pain and the letdown. Then if he's awake try latching him on whilst you sit lounge in a bathrobe.

Thank you all so so much for your posts. I really appreciate it, you have no idea. It's been a scary few days. Probably more to come...!

I was on verge of nervous breakdown by 5am so I told DH to give baby formula at 7am feed time so I could sleep a bit (I slept till 8.30).

Following tiktoks advice to stick to advice of one professional. Community midwives were out first thing, cried my eyes out to them, spent 90 mins with us trying to get Tom to latch & help with expressing. Back-on-boob plan from midwife is this:

Feed him every 3 hours, wait no longer than that (she is concerned he is doing enough wees), less if he shows interest in feeding. Skin to skin, 15 mins total to try get him to latch. If he latches and sucks consistently for more than 10 mins or so, great. If not, DH feeds him 30ml bottle expressed milk. Meanwhile I express for next feed. Then baby is to sleep in bed skin to skin with me (no DH, just me and baby) so I get sleep and so baby can smell my milk. Bath 2x a day for me for my stitches and to help milk release.

She said to try lying down and rugby ball hold for latching cos my boobs are so big.

Just finished expressing 40ml breastmilk for next feed. Unsurprisingly in my panicked state last night I wasn't using pump right.

I feel so SO much better with a plan. Mw was very reassuring, she said if he were unwell/dehydrated she would be very firm on intervening and getting him back to hospital.

Need to track his wees -at least 4 wet (not poopy) nappies by their visit tomorrow.

I think that all makes sense... Am still delerious from lack of sleep....

I'm so glad you've got a clear plan now. It must be such a relief. Hang in there - you'll be fine :)

Hi Zara. Just wanted to add a message of support as I think you are doing fantastically. Please please be proud of yourself and banish any negative thoughts. Your body has gone through a massive shock and your hormones are all over the place. With my first baby I spent many hours of the early morning crying and convinced I must be 'doing it wrong' as my baby wasn't feeding every three hours as per the manuals and spent a lot of the time crying. There was nothing I was doing wrong, babies cry! But when it's your own it sounds like the loudest sound in the world! The most important thing is to rest, drink and eat plenty, be waited on hand and foot! And ask for help, again and again. Breast feeding clinics, home start volunteers, LLL.

Congratulations on your lovely little boy. I suspect at points it will feel like time has stood still but these early days with your first child will never happen again and they go so quickly!

Glad you have a plan, Zara, and that the midwife took the time to really work something out with you :)

Congratulations on your baby

I can remember my early days with dd - now 15 years ago, and the problems I had. In desperation, I mixed fed a little too. Although I was told mixed feeding would cause problems, I fed dd until she was 20 months old.

The main thing I was doing wrong that I didn't find out until later, was that I wasn't getting a sleep in the afternoon to build up my milk. The mw didn't spell out that 'rest' meant sleep - I thought it meant feet up in front of the tv.

Please remember that neither you nor your baby have done it before - bit like riding a bike, it can be hit and miss at first, but once you can do it, you can't see why it didn't work before.

I second the La Leche League

Hi Zara, no-one tells you how hard bf can be. I remember with ds having a horrific time a couple of years ago. Struggling trying to get bf established with conflicting advice from all the midwives and health visitors - it was a nightmare, especially as I felt completely overwhelmed and exhausted, physically and mentally.

You are doing really well so far and these are the things to keep in mind,

You have milk and are able to express and baby will take a bottle. So it is hopefully just a case of working on his latch. Make the mOst of any bf resources in your area, baby cafes, bf clinics etc. it can take a while for them to get the hang of it. It is a learned skill for both of you if yswim. It took me and ds 6 weeks to really get going.

Definitely express some milk if your boobs are engorged before feeding so baby can latch a bit easier. Also when you see a bf advisor or mw get them to check for tongue tie in case it's that.

Good luck :-) xxx

Zara I remember you from "waiting to TTC" thread this time last year - way to go girl on that front, nice work :-D Huge congratulations on your son!!
Obviously have no useful advice to give but just wanted to say hi and good luck with it all, sounds like you have had some excellent advice. xxxx