baby-led breastfeeding not working for us - desperate!

[FluffyJawsOfDoom]

dd is 18 days old. To begin with she was nursing fine - every 3hrs or so for 15-45 minutes. Now she seems to use me as a comforter, which I'm fine with in theory except that we're now verging on 8 hour long breastfeeding sessions - I fed solidly between 8pm and 4am last night and she was making all the right hungry signals but she was stuffed - she just won't let me settle her without boob. I can't sleep, I can't get anything done in the day as she never goes very long between waking and then demanding food - I have trouble finding the opportunity to have a wee :(

It's been like this about a week and it's getting worse not better. I'm on the cusp of just giving up and going formula so at the very least I can hand her over to dh and get more than 2hrs sleep per 24hrs.

She gets terrible wind (flatulence as opposed to burps) and these extended bfing sessions aren't helping that, either - and ironically I expect that's what she's comfort nursing for a lot of the time. I'm going to my local bf group on Tuesday to get my latch checked re the wind, but at this point I'm not even sure I'll make it that long :( :(

I'm not sure what I'm asking really, just a bit of advice? Should I be letting her cry it out instead of sticking boob in her mouth every time she asks? We can't continue like this long term :(

Ps she is gaining weight and there are lots of wet and pooey nappies. She will fall asleep on the boob but as soon as I put her down she's awake demanding more food and getting stressed if it's not immediately forthcoming. I leak from one side when I feed from the other so assume supply is good...

Totally normal! I know it's hard -you have to let other stuff slide and get as much help from dp and family as possible- it will get better. I found it ironed after the first month or two. Be kind to yourself and don't expect much of yourself right now - you are doing a very important job!

Improved not ironed! Ironing is the sort of stuff you can let slide!

Have you tried a dummy?

I would find a breast-feeding clinic to have somebody else to look at how well she takes your breast. Babies at this age can't be awake for 8 hours leave alone feed solidly for that amount of time. So it's either she is stimulating your breasts to produce more milk and the response is a bit slow or she gets mostly first milk which is watery and doesn't get to the back milk which has more fat. I wouldn't plan on doing anything in the first month. What do you need to do? You can wee and breadtfeed. Tried and tested.

Please don't let her cry it out, she needs to know that you are there for her and letting her cry herself to sleep could affect her trust in you.

As for the feeding, has she been checked for tongue tie? Try contacting your local La Leche Leagebif you have one, the leader may be able to help you earlier than Tuesday. Have you tried feeding lying down too, you may be able to get more sleep that way.

Hi, ime they do go through a growth spurt around the 2 week mark when they feed what feels like constantly in order to increase your supply, it should then settle down in a couple of days before the next big growth spurt at around 6wks. It is v tough but sounds like you're doing well

Have you tried infacol for the wind? Also during the day if you carry her in a sling then that may help with the wind and enable her to settle better. also rest as much as you can yourself and have plenty to eat and drink (I used to send dh out for emergency chocolate often when my dc were having growth spurts )

the NCT and la leche league have bf helplines so you should be able to speak to someone over the weekend who can help reassure you.

I tried a dummy when this happened. It allows the comfort and encourages a gap between feeds. Obviously if she's crying to be fed, feed her, but if it's just the comfort of sucking then a dummy could help. You can then try to encourage longer and longer gaps between feeds.

I monitored mine using the 'what to expect' baby tracker app (I think that's what it was called). It helped me remember how long DS had fed for, which side etc so I could see our progress.

And it doesn't have to mean she'll be walking around with a dummy forever!

I didn't think you were supposed to use dummies before 1 month so I'd not tried it...

We don't have a la leche league locally. We've been using infacol for about a fortnight and it has helped, though according to google it doesn't go far enough through their system to help digestive wind, only burping iyswim

And no to the tongue tie, who would look at that? She seems able to stick her tongue out etc...

Both of mine did this, a dummy saved my sanity

Personally I wouldn't use a dummy and certainly not this early - she is sucking to increase your supply which is necessary iyswim and a dummy could interfere with that.

Even if la leche league aren't in your area you could speak to someone on the phone. A bf counsellor or mw or gp would be able to check for tongue tie.

Totally normal IME. I survived by learning to co sleep and learning to bf in a sling. Sometimes the sling on its own was enough. It can feel help while you're in it, but you will look back in a few months and realise it was just a short phase. Hang in there.

Have you tried carrying her about in a sling (a fabric one). It may be the census she is after rather than the feeding. DD hated being out down and spent a lot of time in the Coorie pouch sling. So much so that it became known as the Magic Sling of Sleep :) a sling you can feed hands free in is also a bonus.

Is she wanting to feed all the time or wanting to be held all the time? You say She will fall asleep on the boob but as soon as I put her down she's awake demanding more food and getting stressed if it's not immediately forthcoming What happens if you don't put her down after a feed, but keep holding her? Does she stay asleep? If so, you might find a sling helps a lot. My own DD had a lot of wind (bottom) etc for the first few months, in fact, she's windy now and can already say 'pump' at 16 months... but I found I just couldn't put her down, even in the pram for walks, I had to hold her the whole time.

Where I apparently typed census should have been case

Dummy worked for us. I allowed him to comfort suckle himself to sleep and when he was sparko I took the nipple out and very quickly inserted the dummy. This worked great from 2 weeks old and no supply issues. Sling has also been a lifesaver for my velcro baby.

I can't remember what the youngest age is when they can have a dummy but my HV suggested it 'as long as breastfeeding is established' so it doesn't cause confusion. It worked for me anyway. She will continue crying with a dummy if she's hungry I think?

tongue tie symptoms

some pictures and further info

thread about how many hcps have missed tongue ties

I would suggest contacting Milk Matters in the first link.

DS1 had tongue tie (except we didn't find out til he was 6yo) and for the first 9 or so weeks, he cried if he wasn't latched on. I know how tough it can be, but please don't let her cry.

You could try Co-sleeping: my DS was exactly the same and it saved my sanity. He used to wake up when removed from the breast to go into his cot, so I was simply laying down with him in the big bed, free access to breast so i was sleeping, he was sleeping, noone was waking up and we were both more relaxed and calm.

Here some informtion on General Safety
kellymom.com/parenting/nighttime/familybed/

Fluffy are there any other BFC near to you? Try your local branch ofnct