Feeling pressured to give up bf.

[Yummycheesecake]

Dd is 11 months and turns 1 in a few weeks. I keep getting asked when am I going to stop bf'ing. Expecting the answer "when she turns 1". Well I don't want to and am pretty sure dd won't want to either.

People keep commenting on how I'm missing out on so much and that I never go out etc. dd still bf's between 4-6 per day. She doesn't eat that much food and depends on me mainly for nutrition. She sleeps through but I still have to dream feed her otherwise she does get up at around 3am for a feed! I feel like I'm being punished for bf'ing my dd.

My friends think its odd to bf over one and I don't know anyone else who bf at the moment so I'm feeling a bit alone right now. Anyone I do talk to about it, their opinion is pretty much the same as everyone else and that bf'ing over 1 is a little OTT!

When I try to explain to my friends that I can't do things they are doing eg spa days etc as dd won't take a bottle and isn't eating too much, also is allergic to CMP, they are horrified that I allow this to control my social life!!

I guess if dd ate that little bit more then she would be cutting down the feeds but she isn't so what else am i meant to do???

I think they all think I'm a weirdo for wanting to continue to breastfeed. Most of them couldn't wait to give up so they could get their social life back! Anyway I couldn't give a toss what they think anymore. Obviously not that good a friends otherwise they would support me!

Hi
I am in a very similar position to you, my DS will be 1 next month and i have no intention of stopping BF yet.I am getting raised eyebrows from friends (most of whom stopped after days/weeks) and even DP doesn't get why i don't stop now although he has said he will support me whatever.
MIL is saying she is looking forward to having him to stay from next month (wtf, i dont think so!) She is very anti BF but luckily she has kept her mouth shut so far!
I have missed out on alot of social events since i started BF as haven't been able to leave my DS atall as he refuses a bottle and comfort from anyone but me! It is such hard work and i know some of my "friends" just don't get it atall and think i haven't tried hard enough to get him to go to other people/get him to take a bottle.
I don't know when i will stop, but it will be when i want to or my DS does..If i crack under the pressure and give up because of other people i will never forgive myself!

My DS still feeds probably the same as yours and doesn't eat a great deal, some days are better than others.
You're not alone if that helps

You definitely are not alone in bfing for a long time. In fact, there's a lovely phrase for what you are doing: natural term breastfeeding which basically means you stop whenever you and your baby are ready to and not when anyone else thinks you should. And this can have different times for different people.

I, for example, am pg with DC2 and still bfing DD who is almost 2. I get the 'when are you going to stop?' speech from my parents a lot so I sympathise. Luckily, DH is all for it and tells me he's proud of me which helps.

I had a few of these remarks OP and I only bf till 16mo.

I took the approach that since my DS wasn't ready to stop at 6mo or 1 year, we would be continuing. And I told friends very firmly I was quite happy with this situation and looked forward to nights out when I was done bf or DS was more comfortable setting without feeds.

I went back to work at 9mo too and had the enjoyable situation (haha) of some necessary work commitments at night with a baby who wouldn't take a bottle. Which just meant three hours screaming for my poor DH.

So I quickly decided that for a night out drinking, that situation wasn't worth it.
I wasn't shit with friends though - I made the effort to go out for birthdays or special occasions and invited them to mine or went to stay at theirs so I could take DS with me. I didn't neglect our friendships, but I couldn't change the facts of bf.

Two of the most disapproving friends have now been bf for well over two years each after planning to ff and can't get the DC to give up....

Thank you for sharing your experiences with me. It's nice to know that I'm not alone. I failed miserably with dd1 and dd2 with bf'ing them so when dd3 came along and breastfed like a pro I was so happy. I guess 3rd time lucky! I want to let it come to a natural end and know that I didn't put a time limit on it. It just doesn't help when so many make snide comments.

You sound like you're doing a great job, it's really hard when you feel like you're going against the flow and having to justify what you're doing. MY youngest DD is three and a half and still nurses anything from 1/2 up to 7/8 times a day (but equally I can leave her over overnight or she goes out for the day with DH or GPs and she's fine without). At your DS's age I still wouldn't have happily left her for any length of time - we occasionally went to the cinema leaving the DC with my parents but I would tank her up before leaving and was never gone for more than 2 or 3 hours.

It might help to go to a local BF support group where other people will be nursing babies of a similar age and older (LLL for example). I found it really useful to have a network of like-minded women in whose company I could complain and vent without being told what i was doing wrong and how to solve my 'problems'and just feel heard.