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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

the court system has asked me to PROVE I am BF!

95 replies

aaaghHumbug · 18/10/2012 20:35

I have been called for jury service.

I filled in the form saying that I couldn't as I am BF (giving the DOB of baby).

I got a letter back asking for a letter from my GP or HV to confirm that I am BF.

Shock

I phoned them in a rage (but politely) saying that I found the letter insulting. The admin person agreed that the wording is "unfortunate" and told me that they have received photos before. WTF?? They also said that a copy of my employers letter stating that I am on mat leave would do. I don't think this is good enough and would like to complain about the BF issue.

Any help with a letter back would be appreciated.

(Unless you think I am a loon and that this is a reasonable request?)

OP posts:
princessnumber2 · 18/10/2012 21:16

Photos??!!!!

I would say you're on maternity leave and that, as people aren't forced to breastfeed in front of health care professionals to obtain some sort of breastfeeding certificate, there isn't actually any proof available that it would be appropriate for them to ask for.

I think photos and samples of breast milk might just perhaps be a breach of your human rights??

LineRunner · 18/10/2012 21:17

It is mad, isn't it?

The issue is maternity leave, surely.

WitchesWreakinHavoc · 18/10/2012 21:19

I would go with child attatched to boob. they would soon excuse you :)

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 18/10/2012 21:21

TBH they probably ask for proof of any reason that you are trying to get out of it. There is another thread about this today which has got quite heated. Also, they will most likely only defer you, you then get called again with no option to get out of it.

PickledFanjoCat · 18/10/2012 21:23

There must be an exclusion for mat leave bf or not? You can't take the baby I would imagine.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 18/10/2012 21:24

What I would say, having done it a few years ago, was that my first instinct was to try and get out of it, but I went ahead with it and it was one of the most interesting experiences of my life.

Original poster
aaaghHumbug · 18/10/2012 21:25

I don't have a problem providing my employers letter (I'm on mat leave for a year) but there is no way around it IMO, it is a BIZARRE request.

I have been called for jury service three times. I have attended and not been selected twice before. I have no issue with fulfilling my civic duty.

What linerunner said "The idea that a woman would pretend to breastfeed, and need a witness to her honesty on this, is insulting" hits the nail on the head.

OP posts:
SophiesMummySaid · 18/10/2012 21:30

Dear Sir (Am I correct in assuming you are male?),
In respect of your bizzare request for evidence of my circumstances, namely breastfeeding my 8 month old child, please notify me which form of evidence would be most acceptable to you:

  1. An appointment at my home for a viewing of said circumstances
  2. Rancid nursing bra by recorded delivery, returned by the same
  3. A sample of expressed milk by courier, returned by the same
  4. Photographic or video evidence, to be viewed at my home, no copies to be made
  5. None of the above, take my word for it, which is all my health visitor or GP would do if I asked them for documentary evidence.

Yours faithfully,
aH

CelineMcBean · 18/10/2012 21:32

I think a deferral due to maternity would be sensible. Breastfeeding is not really relevant IMHO.

Though I would think the court would point that out instead of going off on a rather insulting tangent.

Original poster
aaaghHumbug · 18/10/2012 21:34

yes Celine if the mat leave letter was enough, why not just say that? Why mention the BF at all? That's my point (too, I mean, along with all the others that people have helped me clarify for myself :))

OP posts:
IvorHughJackolantern · 18/10/2012 21:36

Dear Stupid Person,

Please find enclosed herewith a letter from my employer conforming that I am currently on maternity leave and a copy of my DCs birth certificate, which shows them to be just eight months old.

I should be interested to know what 'official documentation' you require regarding the fact that my child is breastfed, and your reasons for requesting such a document.

I have never yet breastfed in front of my GP or Health Visitor and any 'confirmation' they could provide that this is how I have chosen to feed my baby would have to be administered on trust that I am telling the truth. Since you appear to be suggesting that my claim to be a breastfeeding mother is suspect, by asking for 'proof' before allowing me excusal from Jury Service, I question whether my providing this 'official documentation' will do anything to assuage your fears since it would come in the first instance from the source you find so questionable - that is, from me.

I could perhaps visit you at your convenience in order to breastfeed in front of you? Please could you confirm that you would be prepared to reimburse my travelling costs.

Yours sincerely...

CelineMcBean · 18/10/2012 21:39

There'll be some jobsworth making up rules. Betcha.

Or just send them your special breastfeeding badge in. You know, the one we all get for being Super Breastfeeders.

LineRunner · 18/10/2012 21:40

That ^^ from Ivor. Sweet.

Haberdashery · 18/10/2012 21:41

Breastfeeding is relevant, though, Celine, if the child takes no other form of nourishment (not the case at 8 months, obviously). But even at 8 months if the baby does not/will not take a bottle, an unacceptable level of distress would be caused to the child by going on jury duty. I do think it's a reason. A bottle fed 8 month old with a grandmother or father or aunt or uncle who can step in and is known by and comfortable with the child is in a much better position to be left than a breast fed 8 month old with similarly nice and helpful relatives.

Starshaped · 18/10/2012 21:44

OP are you asking to defer or be exuded from jury service?

I was in an almost identical position a few months ago. I wrote and explained that I was on maternity leave and breastfeeding and was simply sent another date for a few months later. No proof or photos required!

It's bizarre that they don't have the same policy for all woman on mat leave, regardless of how the feed their child Confused

MeFour · 18/10/2012 21:44

I think I love you Ivor

My extra worry would be that they'll give you a year and the. You'll have to do it with a toddler

CelineMcBean · 18/10/2012 21:45

I think you miss my point Haberdashery. My point is that at 8 months old, regardless of how the baby is fed, women are not expected to be at work. That's why we have 12 months statutory maternity leave with no minimum qualifying period.

How the baby is fed is not relevant when still young enough for mum to be on maternity leave. If we don't expect her to be at work we shouldn't be expecting her to serve on a jury.

Startailoforangeandgold · 18/10/2012 21:46

I'm guessing that if you are on Mat leave the baby is less than a year old. Therefore, baby is likely to go ape at random child care anyway.
I'd have thought BFing was irrelevant.

PickledFanjoCat · 18/10/2012 21:49

Haberdashery, if the child is not used to it why should you have to leave them for 2 weeks regardless of how you feed them??

They need to have an age & stick to it.

Startailoforangeandgold · 18/10/2012 21:51

I sould have provided a paediatricians letter to say DD wouldn't take a bottle, but that's still not the point.

Women with DCs under school age, should only be called for jury service if their children have a familiar child care setting or familiar relative to go to.

Therefore, DD1 would have had to have been 2.9 and at pre school and DD2 18 months.

Haberdashery · 18/10/2012 21:58

Ah, sorry, Celine. I see what you mean. I have a six year old (so the baby years are not really that long ago) and had to go back to work when she was 5 and a half months old as my paid maternity leave had run out. It's not so very long ago that women had to go back to work at three months. 8 months seems to me relatively old to have to leave your baby but I do see your point.

I think Startail has it right and children should have a familiar and trusted setting to go to (and obviously not be relying on their mother for their only source of nourishment).

MeFour · 18/10/2012 22:00

Wouldn't it be easier to make the cut off the same as the free places for 3 year olds. (Not 3 years as April babies have to wait until sept) not sure about holidays time either

CelineMcBean · 18/10/2012 22:02

No problem Haberdashery. I wasn't terribly clear :)

JollyJackOLantern · 18/10/2012 22:15

I was called for jury duty when I was 36 weeks pregnant. My dad was called the same week. I got out of it by getting a doctor's letter saying this - Dr letter was free because it related to jury duty. My dad didn't get picked.

I was called again when Ds was 11.5 mo as they had just deferred it. I wrote them a lengthy letter saying why I couldn't - Ds BFing, no childcare, huge stuff on at work - so they deferred for another year. I provided evidence of it all, except the BFing.

DB was called at a similar time but was leaving the country for over a year so couldn't do it. DM was called a couple of.months later and had to do a grim sexual.assault trial.

Am fully expecting to be called again next year when I'll hopefully be pregnant again. And I'll also be looking after a 2 year old. And working. I wonder how many times you can defer it?

I think primary carers for children under school age should have their duty deferred until the youngest goes to school.

bramblina · 18/10/2012 22:17

What Sophiesmummysaid, said Hmm

And, if they are calling you for dury duty then they surely expect you to be an upstanding, honest member of society, yet are questioning your honesty when detailing how you feed your baby? Are they going to question everything you say in court too? Seems pointless IMHO.

I received a phone call just last week to infomr me of a VAT inpsection I will be subject to on 7th Nov, I explained I am due to give birth 2 weeks later, dh works abroad and I have a child in school and one in nursery, but my opinion is it will be easier to do it now than in a years time with current circumstances and toddler.....why not just take the baby with you?!?! Or give them this option at least. In Scotland we have a law protecting us from being refrained from breastfeeding anywhere so there's no reason why you can't do it in court?! Well, not exactly possible but YKWIM...?

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