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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

breastfed 11 month old still doesn't want solids

31 replies

shrub · 20/03/2006 21:59

have tried sloppy food, finger foods, bottle, playing with food and getting him to feed me but as soon as i try to put it near his mouth he clamps down and turns away.have also got dh to try feeding him while i'm out. if i try and put it in his mouth he gets upset and gags. wouldn't mind with bf but i have 2 very active ds's to think about and i am feeding every three hours and twice in the night. have been to health visitor and they are referring him to a speech therapist as worried it might be a problem with swallowing. he's a happy chap, plenty of teeth, though he doesn't teethe on objects or toys just his hands over the last month. had chickenpox and lots of colds recently which hasn't helped. he just seems to think food is for other people!
has anyone had this?

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jabberwocky · 20/03/2006 22:10

Yes!! I had lots and lots of problems getting ds to eat. It was a nightmare. One thing, though, it to try and not let them see you getting frustrated. And, just keep offering...

I hate to tell you this, but ds was about 22 months before he really took to table food.

mears · 20/03/2006 22:20

My sister had this problem. What she did was leave her DD with me for 2 days. She breastfed her in the morning and then came back to breastfeed her at bedtime. She ended up eating because she got nothing else and I was relaxed enough not to get frustrated! It was amazing how quickly she did eat things because my sister wasn't there to feed her. She even ate custard with her hand svery effectively! As long as he is filling up regularly with breastmilk he has no need to eat solid food. The fact he has been ill might be a reason things are delayed. He will eat eventually. Hopefully speech therapist will be reassuring.

shrub · 21/03/2006 20:12

Shock jabberwocky, don't know if i can keep going full time feeding for that long, hoping to cut down to 3-4 feeds a day. frustration varies from week to week. sometimes i think right we are going to get this sorted out and try offering him loads (probably overwhelming him now i think about it) and the next week giving up and hoping he will get the hang of it eventually.

mears - this i fear maybe the only way forward, he wasn't breathing when he was born (c-section) and found it very hard to feed the first week (fed my older boys fine) he couldn't seem to suck, swallow and breathe at the same time, so i was expressing into his mouth. he's fine now but it has made me think a tube used for clearing his airway may have damaged it or made it sensitive. how old was your sister's dd when you had the breakthrough?

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jabberwocky · 21/03/2006 21:38

Oh, he did do pureed foods and sippy cups, didn't mean that I bf him that long Blush. He just seemed to have a real problem getting the hang of chewing things IYKWIM.

mears · 21/03/2006 23:45

She was between 10 and 11 months old shrub.

shrub · 22/03/2006 18:59

mears - can i ask exactly how you did this as i'm thinking of asking my parents to feed him as they don't live too far away. did your sister's dd stay overnight aswell? just worried as he won't even suck from a bottle (he occasionally will let it drip into his mouth).
thanks

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shrub · 23/03/2006 09:59

bump

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mears · 23/03/2006 19:34

Hi Shrub,

My sister stayed with my parents who were a few streets away. She cam and fed her in the morning thenm left. I offered food and drinks from a cup throughout the day. My sister then came back to feed her at bed time. During the night I offered her nothing but a cuddle. She was up a few times the first night but only once the second. She started to eat because she didn't have any choice. I was actually 34 weeks pregnant at the time too!!
It gave my sister the confidence to 'shut up shop' and not give unto her demands for a breast feed. I know that sounds harsh but it only took a few days of determination to see that she could actuyally drink from a cup and eat other foods. Will your parents have the resolve? I am very placcid and can cope with a crying baby. The person with the baby must be able to keep calm and know that they will not starve to death Smile

shrub · 24/03/2006 18:52

Thanks Mears - Wow what a generous sister you are and where on earth did you get the energy to do that at 34 weeks?????
did your sister completely stop feeding as I am looking to cut down. Ds3 is in our bed due to lack of space at mo which is making the whole thing much harder. I did try asking my dm and she wasn't very happy about the idea -first response 'was what will the neighbours say?' I would have to say she is probably the most highly strung person I have ever met so will have to rethink how to do this. You have also touched on something else with regard to 'coping with a crying baby' - the fact is I can't. As soon as he starts I'm straight there to feed him. The noise is one thing (I crave quiet) and living in a terrace with very thin walls is another, I too would start to think what would the neighbours think! Though do think your idea may be our only option now he is nearly a year and there are his two brothers to think about aswell as they have a very knackered grumpy mummy at the mo! Maybe completely weaning him is the only option?

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mears · 24/03/2006 19:23

shrub - I think you maybe need to try to be more disciplined and not just feed him as frequently. I personally would not just stop feeding him. My sister cut it back to morning and night initially. She did end up feeding more times during the day and then decided that enough was enough. She just refused to get the boob out. I couldn't actually have done that myself i have to say. Just do what feels right for you.

bijouxdeux · 24/03/2006 19:26

mears - you sound like my kind of midwife, helpful, non-judgmental and common sense in abundance! Smile

misdee · 24/03/2006 19:42

i am also refusing to feed dd3 as much during the day now. she is eating a lot better, in fact she grazes throughout the day on healthy snacks as well as hermain meals.

a few monbths ago she had been quite ill and could only keep breastmilk down, so afterwards she was really bad at eating solids.

She did get a sneaky feed at lunchtime today as she was really fussing and our meal was taking too long to be bought to the table.

shrub · 26/03/2006 21:41

Thanks Mears - went out all day saturday and left dh with him. He played with his food, water and milk. He slept part of the day and then just waited it out until I got home (7 hours). Then fed all evening and most of the night. Speech therapist can't see him until end of April. I ended up putting apple puree on my boobs out of desperation and even though he wasn't very amused he didn't gag. Not sure if this is going to confuse matters further with ds3 and ds2 was watching - he already breastfeeds all his bears, next he will be smearing his chest in porridge and mashed potato Grin
Oh the madness.........

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sazhig · 27/03/2006 01:36

Sorry if I am getting the wrong impression here, but if your ds is thriving on bm and very little food is there any way you can go with the flow and just keep offering finger type foods until he starts eating them? Making sure that you eat at the same time as your ds should help encourage him, but rest assured he will not starve himself - he is after all getting plenty of bm from you anyway! You are not the first person I read a message from with a baby who has very little solids at this age so it is not necessarily a problem. Are there any allergies in your family like asthma, eczema, hayfever or food allergies? It is common for babies who have allergies to instinctively avoid foods which may cause problems. Plus babies will only start feeding themselves solid foods when they are developmentally ready to do so - so it may cause more problems to force the issue. Breastmilk is where babies of his age will get the majority of their calories and nutrition from so as long as he is active & alert, hitting his development targets then you should not worry about that side of things. Your breastmilk is far superior to any solids he may eat, both in terms of calories and nutritional content.

This is from an article on the LLL website:
"Some doctors may feel that nursing will interfere with a child's appetite for other foods. Yet there has been no documentation that nursing children are more likely than weaned children to refuse supplementary foods. In fact, most researchers in Third World countries, where a malnourished toddler's appetite may be of critical importance, recommend continued nursing for even the severely malnourished (Briend et al, 1988; Rhode, 1988; Shattock and Stephens, 1975; Whitehead, 1985). Most suggest helping the malnourished older nursing child not by weaning but by supplementing the mother's diet to improve the nutritional quality of her milk (Ahn and MacLean. 1980; Jelliffe and Jelliffe, 1978) and by offering the child more varied and more palatable foods to improve his or her appetite (Rohde, 1988; Tangermann, 1988; Underwood, 1985)."

This book might interest you: "My Child Won’t Eat! How to prevent and solve the problem"
by Dr. Carlos González. I am reading it at the moment & it is very interesting & useful. You can get it through LLL. \link{http://www.lalecheleague.org/NB/NBSepOct05p206.html\Here} is an article with some excerts of it about why children don't eat.

If it is actually the bf (or frequency of bf?)that is the problem, rather than the lack of food then please remind yourself that you have managed to bf a baby with two other children to look after for 11 months so far - what have you done over the past year to occupy your other children whilst you breastfed? Obviously know how to cope very well with that - otherwise you would not still be bf'ing at 11 months Grin

Just a thought as well - If your ds has a problem with swallowing surely he wouldn't be able to swallow bm?

Sorry Im rambling tonight - its late & i'm full of cold so forgive me for this disjointed post. Please respond even if i've got the wrong end of the stick. Would love to help if I can.

all4girlz · 27/03/2006 02:33

hi please ignore the time I am in exactly the ame predicament my dd4 is 11 m and totally breastfed feeds every 2-3 hours refuses every thing from a spoon and will bite a bottle's teat but not drink from one.
I leave her in a creche for 2-3 hours on a monda while doing a course and she has had a little water fom the n/n and chews bread sticks and bread but not enough to constitute ameal.

would loveto talk about ths and discuss some of the advce given CAT me and I will also check thread tomorrow at a reasonable hour bye for now.

all4girlz · 27/03/2006 11:21

bump

shrub · 27/03/2006 16:18

Sazhig - a very big thank you for your post and link. lots to think about and very helpful! I will read properly when everyone is in bed. yes we have severe hayfever on my side of family and chron's (sp?) on my dh's side so i have thought this may be why ds3 is refusing food. I feel its the frequencey of bf that's the issue for me. my ds2 is nearly 3 and I feel he is the one suffering most through all this as he is a very active and enthusiastic little boy and i can't meet all his needs at the mo. he won't get vouchers for nursery i believe until september as his birthday isn't until end of may so we are seriously considering paying. Painting, singing, playdoh, jigsaws, stories and lots of days out keep him happy but i'm finding that part exhausting as he loves being on the move and i just crave sleep all the time!
All4girlz - so sorry there is another one out there going through this but also relieved i'm not alone! So this is your 4th girl? Wow, and did you have this with any of your older girls? This is what's oufoxed me as I have never had this problem before, My older 2 were really interested by 5 months and held out till 6. I went to the doctor today and she managed to check his palette and throat and she says it all looks fine and that he was thriving - talked about the worry of iron depletion in baby after 6 months and she said he would be very pale and lethargic which he isn't so didn't give him vitamin drops which might upset him by having to force feed. She also recommend a thing called a 'breast bottle' which i have ordered (found the cheapest on ebay as they are nearly £20 everywhere else. She also said not to worry, keep offering lots of different types of food, let him get messy and on his hands so he may end up putting it in his mouth. Told me to weigh him every 2 months to monitor and then 14 months if same to come back and she will have another think - said she hasn't come across this before. Really hoping this may be the bridge to the world of food! Will try and find link if interested. posting all this very quickly as i should be cooking tea and we are reaching the 'witching hour'!
shrub

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shrub · 27/03/2006 16:21

\link{http://www.cleverlittlethings.co.uk/Pages/Product%20pages/Feeding/Breastbottle%20Nurser.html\breastbottle}

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sazhig · 27/03/2006 17:51

shrub & all4girlz - just another thought - do you have any good bf support groups near you like LLL? It might be good to chat to one of your local leaders or even go to one of the meetings if you can as I am sure you will find lots of other mums in similar situations. I find it more helpful sometimes to speak to people in the real world than on the net iyswim Grin

look \link{http://www.laleche.org.uk/pages/groups/groups.htm\here} to find local groups & leaders.

hellywobs · 29/03/2006 18:27

My ds was also about 20 months before he really started eating anything with lumps in. I bottle fed from 4 months and started solids at 20 weeks (this was before the guidance changed to 6 months for solids) and while all the other kids were eating anything, he was throwing up all the time - it was like Russian roulette every time you fed him - will he keep it down, will he not, and then once he was walking the sickness stopped (but he didn't walk until 15 months so had a reasonably long time to wait). Now he is a good eater (nearly 3.5 yrs old). There were times when I wondered - will he ever chew? How do kids learn to chew? But he's fine!

BornBerry · 29/03/2006 21:23

Breastmilk should be the main form of nutrition until baby is 12 months old anyway with solids coming AFTER each feed. The idea of seperating him from his mum to me is barbaric. I'm sorry but it really is. Breastfeeding is not just about nutrition, its a pyschological, emotional process for a child (on a biological level the release of hormones etc) to sever this so abruptly could be massively distressing for the child, he simply does not posess the cognitive ability to understand where his mum or source of food has suddenly vanished to!

Worth a read:
www.kellymom.com/nutrition/solids/toddler-foods.html

I think you are totally right to get him checked out medically, IMHO if theres not a medical reason he will eat when he's ready.

Berry

shrub · 23/04/2006 19:14

12 months and still not eating - teething really badly aswell and won't take a soother so my boobs are being chewed through the night. Help or advice anyone?

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ImpatientMare · 23/04/2006 19:38

Certainly can't advise from the breastfeeding point of view, but my DS was not interested in solids until 13 months, when he completely turned and was suddenly on 3 meals a day almost overnight. I was a little worried about him as he was on formula so that does not change with the babies needs like breastmilk does... but nevertheless he still was not that bothered about food. What was I to do? Intravenous? I just offered tiny bits and gave loads of milk as requested.
I do remember reading something on here ages ago that put my mind at rest. It was something along the lines of "how many adults do you know that only drnk milk as their sole source of nutrition?" They all grow out of it Smile

Hopefully someone will be along soon with advice to get those darned pesky molars out of your nipple! Smile

Squarer · 23/04/2006 19:41
Blush ooh, I just hate it when I forget to change my name back.
kiskidee · 23/04/2006 19:46

hi shrub, no advice to give but to say that dd turned 1 on Wednesday, still won't eat really but I have stopped being worried about it.

i'll give you a list of what she eats just in case you find some inspiration there.

she will have weetabix that is warm and v. soggy. about 3 tablespoons of natural yoghurt to one tsp jam - I use greek yog as it is made of milk and cream hence more calories per oz.
that's it really.

but have also in the last 2 weeks discovered that she prefers complex flavours.

she will eat ginger biscuits and digestive biscuits taking tinsy winsy bites and letting them go soggy in her mouth.

will also have bread soaked in our sauces and soups. she loves complex flavours but does absolutely no lumps. she gagged on a minute bit of ham two days ago.

hope this helps.