Help - need to wean my 2yr old off bf...

[balletmoo]

Hello all,

I've had a rough few days and am in the crux of an issue. I could use some friendly advice.

I still bf my 2.1 year old DS. He was born prem so it was a real struggle to start with, and I have a lot of food allergies so I was keen to persevere, so I am really pleased to have got this far.

Trouble is, my DH has now had enough. DS still wakes frequently in the night (really bad teething - molars taking an AGE to come through) and as a result, to save my sanity, I have taken to co-sleeping. Which doesn't help, however much I love it...

So DH has now issued an ultimatum about my stopping and I feel my hand is now forced. It's not just DH, I should add. All my family, my friends and the HV are all saying that I should stop because they are worried about the effect it is having on my health and well being.

So here we are, regardless of the fact that I really love DS and love bf him and love the closeness, I feel I really need to stop now. It's not how I would have liked to be doing this - I was hoping he would self wean but he is showing no signs of wanting to stop.

So, MNers. Any thoughts from fellow reluctant quitters out there? Any advice? Anything anyone can say to help me feel less wretched at the prospect of what is ahead?

Thanks guys...

So if your DS wasn't breastfeeding and WA still waking up would your DH be willing to do night waking?

As I age that you're partner should have some say. But if he's not willing to help out with this and how things are going are working for you and DS then he doesn't have much say in the matter.

As for everyone else it's really nothing to do with them.

Self weaning can happen any time from 18 months to 5+ years so he's still on the early side for that.

I would suggest to maybe try night weaning first and see how that goes. There is some great info on kellymom website on night weaning. Bit your DH is probably going to have to help with this. and it may not stop all night waking just because you don't give him milk in the night doesn't mean you won't need to get up with him in the night.

I know, I know. It's one of the reasons I have resisted night weaning so far. I didn't sleep through till I was well past 3: not only was I bottle fed but my mum tried every night weaning method under the sun. At least if I bf, I know I can settle him again easily rather than have him wake for 3 hours which is what happens when I try to avoid it...

DH is willing to help. I've just resisted it so far because it's much easier for me to do it...

I guess I need a bit of a mind shift away from thinking I am going to be a cruel mummy, which I am really struggling with...

(I should add here that I am not criticising those who ff, and I am not trying to be all evangelical about bf. I'm just struggling with how to go about stopping...)

Why does it have to be all or nothing? You could night wean and still continue to offer feeds during the day, or just first thing morning and last thing at night? It's so good for them, and such a useful tool to have in terms of comforting, getting them off to sleep, quick snack when out and about, that it seems a shame to knock it on the head completely if you and DS are still enjoying it.

Have you tried googling 'jay gordon night weaning' and read about his technique? We did a simple version of it, basically told DS 'no more milk till morning' every time he woke, and after a few nights of crying in our arms for a while, he got the message! I was amazed, I never thought it would work.

Good luck whatever you decide x

What is the ultimatum? Any type of ultimatum over you ending your feeding relationship is extremely unfair.

If you stop because of your dh, there is a good chance that you will resent him for it.

Not good.