1 week old LO and finding breast feeding agonising

[Chickchickola]

Hello

I've been in tears all evening at the thought of my next feed. My LO is a week old and I just want to know that it does get easier.

I find it really hard to get her to latch, when she does I often cry out in agony and all day I've been in tears every time I've fed her. I saw my MW a few days ago and she helped me with position that wasnt too uncomfortable but I've been unable to replicate it at home.

After she has finished my boobs are AGONY for about an hour afterwards with a burning sensation over the whole breast. I don't have any white spots or can't see any red patches which could be mastitis.

My nipples are sore and when she initially latches I want to scream and the pain doesn't subside. I tried to see my doctor today but couldn't get an appointment until Tuesday. My CMW is due to come on Sunday but I don't know how I can get through two more nights.

She is only feeding 7 or 8 times in a 24 hour period which I worry isn't enough.

I just feel so miserable and exhausted.

I was exactly the same for the first few weeks i was in tears and really dreaded the next feed because i was in so much pain, at one point i was for giving up and went to get formular milk and my friend said you have got this far dont give up percivere with it it will be worth it in the end, and it was. Your nipples harden to it after a while and it becomes a pleasure to bf your baby and not an agonising time.
Also i used a nipple craem called Lansinoh and trust me it was brilliant and you dont have to wash it off before you bf your baby and also i had a normal nipple cream from asda and i kept it in the fridge and when my nipples felt like they were on fire i would put it on and the relief it gave me was unreal.
Try it but taht cream from asda you do have to wash it off before you bf again but its worth it. Dont give up, keep going and soon you will be saying what every other mum is saying after they have breast fed for some time.

You will not be housebound i felt exactly the same, i used to express by hand and put it in a bottle and go out the house. I have never bf in public i dont feel comfy doing that, my lo is now 11 weeks old and refuses the bottle after all these weeks she has had them so now if i am really stuck in public i go to the baby changing room in the supermarket or local museum/library and with 2 other children 8 and 4 its a struggle but it gets done. You will find when you go out and try different things you will find whats best for you and your baby. And also as your lo gets the hang of it your feeds will go further apart and you can get done what you need to within that time ie shopping ect. I have bf on demand from the beginning and its got easier as i have gone on. good luck and dont give up you will be fine.

You are doing so well. So many of us on here know exactly what you're going through. Expressing is something of a dark art. I used a simple hand pump for the first few months, then used a Medela. Expressed milk keeps for ages in the freezer, a few days in the fridge, or a few hours if in a thermal insulating bag if you're out.

But don't worry about feeding in public just yet, that comes with time and it took me a few weeks to get confident doing it.

You really need real life support from trained breastfeeding support workers -these aren't always MWs or HVs, (sorry but many HVs and MWs have only a couple of hours breastfeeding training and often give bad advice.)

The things that got me through were family support - driving me to the clinics, giving expressed milk, making sure I had to do nothing but feed, taking paracetomol a half hour before feeding, chocolate cake and a glass of wine for the evening feed. (yes you can have a glass of wine when breastfeeding)

The first few weeks of breastfeeding can be really difficult, but if you can find the support you need to keep going, when it gets easier it really is a godsend. For many women that moment is between 4-6 weeks, for a few unfortunates it can be around 9-12 weeks. But nothing can calm a baby like a booby, and it really is so easy to be able to go anywhere without having to worry about taking food with you.

There is lots of good advice over on [www.kellymom.com kellymom]. Good luck.

I was exactly the same as you, and I PROMISE it soon got much easier. I too was on the verge of giving up when DS was about a week old. I had cracked, bleeding nipples and the thought of the next feed made me weep.

I don't have any great words of advice - I persevered another couple of days and it did slowly begin to improve (Lansinoh (sp?) cream helped a fair bit too). I clearly remember how horrible it was to begin with though, and you have my sympathies. After that shaky start I ended up bf'ing until DS was 16 months, and was bereft when I stopped

It will get better (but if you choose not to continue, don't beat yourself up about that either) Good Luck!

Just to update!

Had a really tough night. She just wouldn't latch onto the left breast which now feels engorged making it worse. She did feed on the right one okay though. The initial latch is still painful but the rest of the feed that side is okay.

I have been to the GP and got some other cream for the thrush that doesn't need to be washed off between feeds (as she was feeding almost hourly the constant washing was taking its toll too). Also got some mouth drops for her.

Just really need to sort her latch out on the left one now. She has been checked by two midwives who said she has a good latch but she just doesn't want to do it at home!

How are things going today chick?

On my right side I can breast feed quite easily! Apart from the initial latch there is no real pain or discomfort.

My left nipple is a mess though and that side is quite engorged. I am trying a nipple shield now on that side to try and give it a chance to heal and also hand expressed some to help the engorgement.

At least we have one side sorted so 50% of the way there!

Sound like your getting there! Really pleased things are improving

i had & still do to some extent, difficulty with positioning & holding DS on the left side. My lactation lady suggested a cranial oestopath, as the latch was fine. He had a stiff neck which they sorted & it improved things.

She also suggested I try & copy what I do on the right, on the left & it does improve things. I think I hold his head difference which effects the latch. I still need to concentrate more when feeding in the left even 6 months in. We also saw a cranial osteopath

Definitely express off the left til you get it sorted.

Good news! Have you tried using a breast shell on your left side? I still had a really badly damaged left nipple - an open wound across about a fifth of the surface - that just wasn't healing. I got some breast shells from Boots and started using one on that side yesterday afternoon. It's keeping my bra off the nipple between feeds and preventing any pressure/friction on that nipple and it's made such a huge difference already, it's definitely healing now and is much less tender. It could also help with your engorgement as it causes a little bit of milk to be realeased between feeds so could release some of that pressure.

I've also been using Lansinoh's Latch Assist - like a little rubber plunger to fully draw the nipple out before feeding as the nipple on that side was flatter than the right one, so I think DS was having to suck quite hard to pop the nipple out IYSWIM, which was opening the wound up again every feed which was also stopping it healing. The breast shell has also helped with this because it also encourages the nipple to stay popped out between feeds so again it doesn't have to re-open up when DS latches on.

Finally, I've been shaping the breast with my free hand to try to get more into DS's mouth so that he doesn't have to suck the nipple to the back of his mouth, again stopping him from re-opening the crack out. You sort of squash the areola near where your DD's chin will be once latched on with your fingers and use your thumb opposite your fingers - you're trying to make the breast into a pointy, conical shape with the nipple at the tip that you can then put right to the back of your DD's mouth when latching on so that she's immediately got a large mouthful of breast.

All of the above have hugely reduced the pain I was getting when latching on so am now almost pain free on that side as well - I can't tell you what a difference it is even from yesterday morning so might be worth a go for you too!

I am so sorry to hear your post. Firstly just to let you know I am right now very much in the same boat with my 5 day old baby as we speak. :( I just cannot get it right and was in a constant state of breakdown and pain when trying to BF and feeling like I've failed my baby because I desperately want to feed her but I just can't take it.

The first m/w that saw us in hospital tried to help but it hurt like hell. The second said it hurts just get over it otherwise you won't be going home. The third made me feel awful because she just reitterated the importance of BF and made me feel like I was failing. Finally, my regular m/w who I'd seen throughout pg visited and said look, don't worry. Express milk and feed it in a bottle (I also find expressing pretty painful but not as bad), feed formula too if you need to. So that is what I have done. So yesterday I pretty much had a day off to try and give my boobs a chance to recover - I've been expressing as much as I can and feeding formula when I don't have enough expressed. I've then been doing one or two feeds a day (as many as I can bear/manage) on the breast but I have done my best to ignore the huge pressure and I feel like I'm a better mum to my baby as I'm feeling more in control and happier in myself.

I have tried a nipple shield and it is still v painful. Though am not sure if they fit right as they were given to me by someone who never use them.

I also think that my nipples are a really funny shape (not inverted but just wierd and wonky) and are quite big. My baby is only a wee 6lb girl at moment and I suspect this is part of the problem - my nipples are too big and wonky for her as she is a great latcher (apparently) though she does get very angry if she doesn't get her feed the minute she wants it which doesn't help me as she is flailing and screaming while I'm trying to latch. So today I am planning on finding someone who can assess what is wrong and see if there is a way of getting round it (I just came on to see if I could find some helpline/councelor numbers). My m/w also thinks when baby is bigger we will see some of the problem disappear.

I know there's not too many contructive solutions in this post, but I just thought it might help knowing someone else is struggling at the same time as you and that I have felt so much better since I removed the pressure from my shoulders. The main thing is to ensure my baby (and yours too) is fed and loved which she is and BF is going to have to be a bonus if we get there!

Hope you are ok and feel free to PM if you need a shoulder to cry on etc.

hi there, sounds like your doing very well, just think its started to get better already and it will just keep getting better now, sounds like your about to get over the pain threshold and once thats out the way it becomes a real pleasure to feed your little one, and not just pure pain.

Really pleased things are getting better for yoy.
Good luck.

Things are definitely easier today! My right side is quite easy and I can even pop her on without a mound of cushions.

The left side is sore but also quite easy with the shield. I'm worried using the shield will reduce milk supply so won't use it long term but it has been a saviour the last 24 hours.

She has only had 5 feeds today, albeit 20-30 mins each breast so quite long feeds but will try and get her to feed more frequently tomorrow.

Just saw your thursday update, so pleased things are getting better, hope it's all still improving.
I found bf an absolute nightmare at the beginning but such an absolute delight when things settled down.
Massive well done to you for persevering in the face of screaming agony, wishing you and DD all the best for a happy bf future

Oh you poor thing.......I've breast fed 3 children, 2 of which were twins and I have to say for each and everyone is was toe curlingly painful but after about 8/10 days it eases up and before you know it your baby will latch on without you even watching! Just try and persevere but if you can't don't beat yourself up about it.
Do you not have a children's centre close to you as they should run breast feeding support groups, but ask your midwife for help TODAY.......tell her you need to see someone today, they should also have breast feeding support people on the end of a phone! My midwife gave me her mobile number and said if I had any problems day or middle of the night to ring......she came and helped me with my twins at 2am as my DD wouldn't latch on!

Good luck and be proud of yourself x