Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Breast feeding in public

31 replies

Feedthebirds · 20/09/2012 07:13

Due to my baby getting fussy and a bit too hot under a breast feeding apron, I have recently stopped using one. I had been thinking that due to baby now being 4 months therefore bigger head and quicker to latch on that people couldn't really see anything.

However... I've just been reading all these threads on discreet feeding plus Liz Jones article in the DAily Mail today about how women should not BF in public at all, and am now wondering if I am deluding myself to think that I am not exposing myself much by BF without a shawl of some kind.

Would be interested to know what others think...

Hope this makes sense.

OP posts:
Cheeser · 20/09/2012 07:20

Shawl fine for covering in public, I've gone totally without using anything before. If you're clever with clothing you can not expose any skin other than nipple, so once baby is latched on it just looks like you're giving them a cuddle.

Just do it!

Cheeser · 20/09/2012 07:21

...and stop reading the DM Wink

SoupDragon · 20/09/2012 07:21

IMO "discreet feeding" means not sitting there with your breasts hanging out, not making a huge fuss out of it and just getting on with it. Personally I used to choose a quiet corner and tune out anyone around me. Three breastfed babies later and I never had a single negative comment.

SoupDragon · 20/09/2012 07:22

Vest and cardi/other top combo worked well. Top goes up, vest pulls down at the neck... job done with minimal flesh on display (this was important to me)

SloeFarSloeGood · 20/09/2012 07:25

Liz Jones is a bitter old crone. Under no circumstances listen to her opinions.

Cheeser · 20/09/2012 07:25

Second what soupdragon says. If you get a cardi with a round neck it'll button high enough to button two down from the top, then just pull vest top down. IYSWIM

Frakiosaurus · 20/09/2012 07:26

Oh don't listen to the DM. If you need to get your boobs out, then do as long as you feel comfortable. As long as you don't strip off your top and jump up and down shrieking I'm breastfeeding, look at me everyone, I've got my nips out for all of you to see no-one can really say anything.

The vest/top combo is good, or a waterfall cardi, and there are some nice if slightly pricy BFing clothes out there.

PipsWife · 20/09/2012 07:30

I BF my DD for 12 months and never used an apron - I really didn't like them, if I saw one it made me think I'd hate to have a tent put over my head to eat. I fed her wherever she needed to be fed.

I used to wear 2 tops pull one up and one down and show as little flesh as needed. I only ever had positive responses, if any from people. It's natural.

Stop reading the DM.

BreeVanDerTramp · 20/09/2012 07:30

I have BF 3 babies in public without any negatives comments. I have never used a cover. I just don't care, I don't slap my breasts on a table but lift top, position baby, feed baby, get in with day.

I can never understand the fuss surrounding public BF and genuinely cannot see the difference between FF and BF - if baby is hungry, feed it.

AThingInYourLife · 20/09/2012 07:52

I've never had any negative comments and I just breastfeed wherever I am and I haven't always made the best clothing choices (you'd think by the 3rd I would be better at this).

The thing is that if you do something and look like you have every right to be doing it (which you do) people just accept that.

If you sit apologetically in the corner wearing an apron you are actually making a far bigger deal of this than it needs to be.

I really don't want my body on display to the world right now, but if it looked tip top I wouldn't care, because we don't live in a country where exposed flesh is generally frowned upon.

Rubirosa · 20/09/2012 07:56

I never used a shawl or a muslin or anything. For the first few months I did the two tops thing but it was fiddly so by the time ds was 7 or 8 months I was just hoiking a boob out over the top. Never has so much as a funny look, let alone a comment.

papooshka · 20/09/2012 08:00

Never used a shawl either...just used to undo my bra at the shoulder bit, then lift up my top just enough for my boob and then latch baby on, their head covers all the side bits. Never had any comments etc, fed 2 babies like this till they were 1.

belindarose · 20/09/2012 08:01

DS and I can never manage to feed without a great deal of nipple on display. I've found that he latches on much quicker without the fuss of me trying to be discreet. So I make sure we have as quiet a corner as possible, try to turn away a bit while latching on, and hunch myself over him a bit while we get started. I've realised that if anyone sees anything they don't like, it'll only be for a second.

SoupDragon · 20/09/2012 08:02

With my first, I felt more comfortable with a shawl/muslin cloth for privacy - it was never about anyone else. I was more confident with the subsequent ones.

CailinDana · 20/09/2012 08:05

IME of feeding for a year, people just don't care. People rarely noticed me feeding DS, and if they did they just looked and looked away, the way they would with any mildly interesting sight. I didn't hang my boobs out for all to see but at times my nipple was exposed due to DS being wiggly and distracted. No big deal, I just pulled down my top if necessary and got DS back on when I could. I think if you're relaxed about it, and just carry on as normal, it makes others feel more comfortable and there's no embarrassment. Funnily enough the hardest thing was feeding in front of male friends. I knew they wouldn't judge or anything but it was weird getting my boobs out in front of them. Good on them, every single one handled it brilliantly :)

HappyHippyChick · 20/09/2012 08:08

I'm currently BF ds4 and I do what Rubirosa does, just hoik my boob out and then cover it a bit with my hand. Never had any looks/comments.

Inertia · 20/09/2012 08:11

If it helps, nobody in their right mind gives a stuff about what Liz Jones thinks.

Just feed your baby in the manner that best suits your baby. Everyone else can mind their own business.

spartafc · 20/09/2012 08:11

I used feeding vests, from Bosom Buddies. I'm tall and I got the long ones and they were great. The bonus is that you don't expose any flesh at all really (and you keep warm too). You just pull your top up, unclip the bra bit of the vest and off you go. One of the best things I bought.
So far as Liz Jones goes, as far as I am aware, the correct stance to take with regards to any advice she gives - is to do the exact opposite. HTH.

Badjudgeofcharacter · 20/09/2012 08:12

No one cares. I wore scarf, easy to pull down top and waterfall cardigan. Do not read DM (negative about BF). Formula companies spend a lot on advertising.

spartafc · 20/09/2012 08:13

Like this one

Longtalljosie · 20/09/2012 08:16

Really, if you listened to Liz Jones, you would start each day with a ritual beating at your temerity to have had children in the first place.

Your baby has a right to eat, and you have a right to leave the house.

I know it's a bit of a "deep breath" thing until you get the hang of it - but mostly people either don't notice, or are busy pretending they aren't - it's absolutely fine...

Mrscog · 20/09/2012 08:24

Firstly, a good motto for life is 'whatever Liz Jones says, do the opposite'!

Secondly I'd echo everyone else on the thread, no one minds (and if they do they are in the extreme minority), just get on with in with normal, well chosen clothing. I found it useful to have a few well chosen retorts in mind in case anyone did say anything as they are the ones with a problem not me or my DS. Sadly I've not had to use it but this is my fave 'if the sight of the back of a baby's head offends you, I can recommend a good counsellor'!

Pochemuchka · 20/09/2012 08:27

Best advice on this thread? Stop reading the DM!

Most of their articles are centred around praise/criticism of women/their bodies/their parenting choices etc. If you take on board anything they and their bigoted readers say you'll never go out of the house again!

Aside from that - shawl or no shawl, whatever suits you - breastfeed with confidence and no one will say a word.
(I've EBF two DC all over the world, wherever they've wanted feeding and never had a negative comment - except my brother saying he felt uncomfortable not uncomfortable enough for him to leave the room though!)

Weezie85 · 20/09/2012 09:13

I have never been able to use anything on DD when feeding her, she screams when covered. I have just always wore a vest top underneath another top and covered that way. I haven't had anyone complain yet. Sometimes when she does the head fling as I like to call it I am sure people must see somthing but I cover very quickly.

TerrariaMum · 20/09/2012 09:15

What really helped me was a quote from Libby Purves that I kept in my head when first bfing in public 'Screaming or feeding, squire? You choose'

Echo others in saying stop reading the Daily Fail.

Finally, if you are sitting in a quiet corner and someone complains at you, they have the problem not you. You are not doing anything wrong.

Swipe left for the next trending thread