If you were me, would you give a dummy?

[maldivemoment]

Baby now 12 weeks and all is still going well. However my evenings still don't seem to be anywhere close to being mine.(Not complaining...) Is this unreasonable to expect?

She used to cluster feed like a fiend in the evenings but this has now calmed down a little. However she feeds to sleep every evening but when I say 'feed' I mean more 'sucking for comfort.' (...still not complaining...) Is this normal/ok at this stage? She will feed well and then stay on me for around half an hour/ 40mins until she is asleep.
If she comes off before she's ready she will frantically try to cram her entire fist into her mouth and then become frustrated until I get my boobs out! (...still not complaining...)

I should perhaps make it clear (if it's not already!) that I am not complaining about this. I am so delighted to be able to exclusively breastfeed this time around that I'm happy just doing whatever it takes. My concern is perhaps that I might be, unwittingly, establishing a 'feeding to sleep' routine when I could/should be doing something else.

That's a bit of a long winded way of asking 'should I consider a dummy?' or is what I'm doing ok?

Thank you all in advance

There is nothing wrong with feeding to sleep. What is your worry about feeding to sleep? There are no rods for backs really, they are just scare stories

No, I would not consider a dummy, because what you are doing is perfect and helping your daughter get both comfort and nutrition. A dummy would be no comfort and no nutrition.

Enjoy it, it sounds like bf-ing is going really well, but your baby is still small and still needs plenty of feeding.

What you're doing sounds great I had a similar evening 'routine' with ds1 and he essentially fed to sleep til he was about 9months or so and then started to self settle more. Since then he's been great at going to bed. Ds2 is now 20wks and still in the feeding frequently in the evening/feeding to sleep stage but he's contented like that, I'm contented as he's happy (even if it means I don't get an 'evening'). Ds2 has learnt to suck his thumb which does help a bit if he wakes and just needs a bit of extra comfort to get back to sleep so he is self settling more than ds1 at the same stage but when he wants to bf then the thumb is no good and only boob will do - I expect he would be the same with a dummy.

My mother liked to go on about 'rod for my back' about feeding to sleep with ds1 as he now sleeps very well she's switched it to other aspects of my parenting and doesn't mention it in relation to ds2

my DS2 is also 20 weeks and his "bedtime" is gradually getting earlier.

by which i mean he still likes to be on my knee feeding off and on for a while in the evening, but his first bigger sleep of the evening is getting earlier.

when he was born it was 11 or even later, now it's 10 or earlier. if i put him to bed earlier than that he'd still be up and down, so I'm lazy and just sit up with him and watch tv or read.

i vaguely remember the same pattern with DS1 and he now heads happily to bed between 7 and 8 at age 3.

very similar to poster above, but DS1 was better at thumb sucking. :)

No, I would carry on what you're doing. It (feeding to sleep) has always worked for me, and ds is now 18 months and can self settle (has been able to since 9 months, when I started doing the 'pantley pull off' from the no cry sleep solution). So go with what feels right for you I say!

Also, dummies are a hard habit to break and can lead to teeth growing in the wrong positon (I know this from experience not just being snobby).

Ok, thank you. You have reaffirmed what I already thought. No dummy and carry on as we are...

thefudgeling - tell me about it. My little boy has a dummy (only at night). Think he may love it more that he loves me!!!!

one of mine was very sucky and always wanted to suck to go to sleep, not really feed, just suck. In fact he went form boob to sucking my finger, and then it occurred to me a dummy would be more hygenic and easier! he loved his dummy and used it to get to sleep until about 12 months when we got rid of it. (I would be reluctant to use it longer) My other 2 weren't bothered, and never had one. So if your gut reaction is he want to suck, then try a dummy.