Feeding 8m DS is becoming infuriating

[fishandlilacs]

grrrrr. I need a rant.

My son is becoming impossible to feed. I used to always feed him before bed lying down and he would drift off to sleep, I stopped the feeding to sleep by waking him slightly before putting down but whichever way it went the bed time feed would mean a relaxing time for both of us, but now he's just crawling all over me, twisting over onto his front, headbutting me, scratching, pinching and pushing. He's driving me utterly mental.

I just had to dump him in his cot and come away before I got angry last night, DH went up and settled him the end.

In the last 2 days hes scratched me badly enough to leave marks, headbutted me in the lip so my teeth cut his head and bruised my lips. He swaps boobs constantly, if I try to feed sit up he twists against me and away from me. Theres absolutely no sign of self settling any more he needs rocking and shushing and walking up and down and hes still up half the flipping night and if hes not up half the night hes awake at 4am or 5am. He's too strong to hold. He just wants to stand stand stand. I am frazzled and exhausted and premenstrual.

feed him at a different time? When he's more tired or more hungry? He doesn't sound very hungry tbh.

Hi, first of all and for you, it's awful isn't it? I remember having to do the same as you - just get away.

Maybe you could get DH to do the first bit of bed time and you just go in and feed him once he has stopped rampaging around?

I promise it will pass, my DS was an utter nightmare in phases but the phases passed every time.

Do whatever will keep you calm and ok this week x

Also, if he is teething, he may be finding the feeding a bit sore and that may explain the waking up as well?

he has cut two teeth this week-the first two. I'm beginning to think there may be earache involved too.

At about 8mo, my DD went through something similar - feeding to sleep stopped working and she was also trying hard to get mobile. Which meant lots of tossing and turning and wriggling and clawing at me etc. before finally settling down and going to sleep. It was a phase (although a long one!) and by about 12mo she started walking and calmed down a lot at bedtime. I think at that age it's hard for their minds to switch off from being active.

I used to feed her slightly earlier in the evening and we ended up dropping the bedtime feed about that time as it just wasn't working. Was a bit sad as I'd always enjoyed the calmness then and expected it to be the last feed to go!

Thank you alba that's a comfort to me. In one way i'm glad that feeding to sleep has stopped working-it means I am forced to try other ways of getting him settled, if it had carried on i could imagine me needing to feed him to sleep when he was 5!

Feeding to sleep is hit and miss now for me at bedtime but I can't rock her to sleep, she's too big and I have a weak back. Naps and night wakings, boob works perfectly but bedtime is awful. Last night I too dumped DD (8 months also) into the cot and got DH to take over. He settled her within about 10 minutes but she was up again within 10 minutes. If she wakes after she's been put to bed, she only wants me so I had to go up. She bit me so definitely didn't want to feed so in the end, I lay on our bed with her and she slowly drifted off. Then I put her back in cot and went back downstairs. This all took and 2 and a half hours, from bath, books and 1st breastfeed to actually going down for the night.

I can't say it's been an easy ride, and I've had a lot of frustrating evenings, made harder by the fact that DD just won't be comforted by DH in the evening. Your scenario sounds very familiar fhdl34, but now she's 15mo and there is light at the end of the tunnel! The past couple off the have been so much easier :) she still takes time to drop off, but there's none of the screaming and thrashing that we used to have.

Good luck with it!