Losing confidence again...

[belindarose]

There is little real life support available in my area. I may be able to get to a BF support group on Monday but they don't like to have older siblings there and I will have my 3 year old with me. I'm not hugely confident in the support there anyway.

DS is now 10 weeks and EBF. He has been feeding normally from one breast and with a nipple shield from the other (very inverted). Over the last two weeks we have been weaning from the shield and now about half his feeds on that side are shield free. However, he has been increasingly fussy about feeds, needs 3,4,5 'sides' per feed, never falls asleep on the breast (except for night feeds), often refuses to stay on long enough for a let down. Flow used to be very fast and I had oversupply. Now much less leaking and flow seems to have slowed. Not necessarily a bad thing - it used to upset him when too fast.

A weight check last week showed he has dropped through the centile lines, from 95th to below 9th. This in itself would not have bothered me, as DD followed exactly the same pattern. I had asked for the weight check, however, because I had some concerns about the behaviours listed above and was hoping for reassurance. HV is sensible. She has said to weigh again after a month and then she'll have to refer. Said she was loathe to recommend extra waking at night (he will sometimes sleep for one six hour period).

He's an avid thumb sucker, which I worry is stopping him asking for feeds. He will never accept a feed if he doesn't want one.

Sorry it's so rambling. Basically, I'm concerned that the milk transfer isn't good enough, either because of the shield (which every HCP I met advised me to use) or because of his latch/ position in general. I have no pain at all.

belidarose sorry your confidence is wobbling again.

I don't know why your HV would not recommend more feeding at night - it is the easiest way to ensure more milk gets into your baby. 6 hours is an unusually long time for a baby of this age to sleep without feeding.

It's not possible to say if the fussy behaviour you describe mean milk transfer is not as good as it could be - certainly the shield might make a difference but it could be worth using if it was the only way he could feed from the affected side, but the other side is shield free so this would make up for it....anyway you are managing to do without the shield you say , at least some of the time. Less leaking is normal now. Lots of babies fuss sometimes, and stop falling asleep as often on the breast as they grow....so not easy to see if any of this is significant.

It may be that a month without doing anything is anxiety-making for you, so feeding more in the night (when the feeds are easier and less fussy, yes?) is at least worth a try.

Most babies who fall down the centiles like this are basically fine, though - and it's far from unknown for weight checks to be inaccurate, weight to be plotted inaccurately, translation from oz-grams to be done wrongly, and for the birthweight to be a poor baseline. You might want to check all that. If you feel the fall down centiles is accurate, then it seems to me that extra intake at night would be sensible.

(What worries you about the support at the bf group?)

Hope this helps.

Hi belinda it sounds like you could do with good advice which is hard online. I know support groups can be awkward but it may be a good idea. Try asking for a one to one chat and maybe they could give you some privacy. Alternatively try phoning a helpline, BfN are great as are La Leche.
What you describe about fussing, not sleeping, flow slowing all sounds like it could be normal, but the weight loss indicates a problem. Although your hv and tiktok our bf expert here do not think so, so it's tricky. A check of your latch would definitely help though.

shandy, there is no weight loss....belinda has described a falling down centiles which is a different thing. Weight loss in a baby of this age should always be taken seriously.

No weight loss, no.

Having written that post yesterday, I've been up all night feeding almost every hour! We're on holiday so things have been different for all of us.

A month does seem a long time to wait and see, doesn't it? I think I will make sure he gets that extra night time feed. He's certainly been sleeping longer since discovering his thumb.

Tiktok, my lack of confidence in the breastfeeding support stems from being advised there to only feed from one breast per feed (not to address any particular issue, just what was advised to everyone). Also, same support worker tried to persuade me to night wean DD at 8 months as she was 'just feeding for comfort' (had also fallen through centiles) and that this had caused the thrush I was battling with. So I'm concerned about her skills really.

Yes, I now remember your previous posts about rubbish information....this sounds a very inadequate support group indeed :(

Hope things get back to where you want them to be and your confidence returns.

belindarose first of all, well done! You're doing really well and I'm sorry the support worker has not been too helpful. Is there another group near you? Or have you tried the NCT? They have a great hotline staffed by BF support counsellors that are really helpful. I'm a peer supporter with La Leche League so will do my best but others have said it sounds like you need face-to-face support; it's quite difficult to "see" what's going on!

With regard to the reduction in your supply, I would suspect at this stage that this is more to do with your milk hormones settling down into "supply and demand" rather than just constantly making milk. This happens around 8-12 weeks. Offer as many boobs as he needs, for some that's one or two, for others its four or five! The hormones that govern supply are at their highest concentration between 1.30am and 4.30am so babies will often feed more during these times to boost your supply, particularly during growth spurt times - 6-12 weeks is classic growth spurt territory. Sorry, I'm sure ride it out is not the advice you wanted right now!

Dropping centiles is NOT a good indication of how well your baby is doing. Some babies are born big but are actually destined to be small and vice versa. My DS1 was born on 91st and instantly went up to the 98th, DS2 was born on 50th and within weeks had dropped to the 9th. Both of theirs changed again after that but settled eventually. There are better ways of working out if your baby is getting enough milk than weight. Plenty of wet and dirty nappies? Poo yellow/brown in colour? Fontanelle not sunken? Moist lips? Alert? Appearing satisfied between feeds? If the answer to all of these is yes, you can be fairly certain that he is getting what he needs.

How is your HV? If she's useless then might not be worth bothering her but I've been blessed with several good ones who have really supported me when I was at my lowest ebbs. She might be able to advise if necessary.

"This too, shall pass" etc etc.

Hi belinda have just read your post, and want to send you some encouragement. I don't have any advice I am afraid, but just want to say wel done for sticking with it and I understand about lo being fussy my ds has been increasingly like this and it throws my confidence too. My ds also seems to be dropping centimes, have been told to carry on as we are but he also does one long sleep in night of 6 or 7 hours most nights and am debating whether to wake him. Have you tried contacting lll ? From remembering where you are ihad some valuable info from llllady I can send her details if you like, she runs drop in on fri ams and will also discuss over phone.

Thanks Bella and smk. I will try a helpline although I'm not sure how to express what my 'problem' is, as such. Smk, those contact details would be great, thanks.

He's fed nearly all day today and has started dribbling a lot, which he hasn't before at all.

How are you belinda?

Hi smk. DS and I are both a lot more relaxed since we came back from our 'holiday' and his feeding is better, thanks. So is his sleeping so far. How are you?