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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Cutting down on bf'ing

21 replies

redonculous · 12/09/2012 12:16

DD is 12 months old. Her milk/food intake is probably 95% breast milk and 5% food. I can not get her to eat more. I've been told that I need to cut down on bf'ing to get her to eat more but if I refuse her milk, she just screams and it makes no difference to how much food she eats. DP wants me to just stop bf'ing completely during the day but I'm scared she will starve. Any one got any advice?

OP posts:
MigGril · 12/09/2012 12:50

Who told you to cut down feeding?

it's quit normal for some babies to still feed a lot at 12 months. If she doesn't eat more when you refuse milk then surly your just cutting out calories she needs by refusing to feed her.

Just keep offering food when you eat she'll get there in her own good time. Unless there is some medical need to change. If you're both still happy with it then just carry on, The WHO recommends you breastfeed on demand until at lest 2 years along side offering solids.

mrstiggywinklethehappyhedgehog · 12/09/2012 12:52

My DD is 13mo and still loves to bf, I try a couple of things to encourage her to eat, eg offering food about 1.5-2hrs after a bf, so she's hungry but not starving; eating with her and eating the same thing (toast and butter cut into fingers, with banana slices, around 10am is usually a success). Do you offer lots of finger food? DD likes feeding herself although she will let me spoon in yoghurt and fruit purée which I do when I want to make sure she is actually swallowing something. It's unpredictable though, yesterday she went 8 hours without bf and ate well, but then was feeding all evening and is now on her 4th feed of today already Confused So no magic solutions, sorry! I keep hoping that things will change on their own...

Original poster
redonculous · 12/09/2012 12:55

My health visitor told me to cut down. I really want to carry on until at least two but il getting so much pressure to stop. Everyones telling me she doesn't eat enough, it's really getting to me but I can't force her to eat. I'm so worried that breastmilk isn't enough for her now shes one.

OP posts:
MigGril · 12/09/2012 13:04

My 22 month old was a reluctant eater, he picked up around 16 months. But I still think he has as many feeds of milk as he did as a baby.

For what it's worth my friend had a similar problem HV advice her to stop feeding so she did. Her little girl didn't eat any more solids though and she was just constantly worried that she wasn't eating. Asked if she'd do anything differently, she would say ignore the HV.

Babies and toddlers tend to know what they need, just keep offering food. Toddler groups where there is a snack time sometime help. Although DS was so disinterested in food he would rather play.

As op says lots of finger food get her joining in family meal time, don't force it.

HalleLouja · 12/09/2012 13:05

Its not up to anyone else its up to you (and to some extent your partner). My dd feeds frequently at 15 months but seems to be cutting down the length of feeds.

This book is supposed to be good. Not read it myself.

MigGril · 12/09/2012 13:06

I felt pressure to stop to with my eldest, but we carried on regardless. This time I think everyone has realised it's best not to say anything I'll do my own thing.

Oh and you could quote the WHO guidelines to them.

mummysmellsofsick · 12/09/2012 13:14

FFS health visitors do piss me off. I've yet to meet one who understands anything about bf. Unless she is underweight then why worry? You can't force feed her and bm is extremely nutritious. I'm sorry if any hv are reading this I'm sure some are good but so many are out of date busybodies with no sensitivity at all. And I've heard of 3 friends being given dangerous advice- making formula bottles with pre cooled boiled water, telling a friend with PND to let her preemie baby CIO if he woke at night and to stop bf... as I said, ffs. Please don't assume they know what they're talking about, do your own research OP and them go what you want to do!

mummysmellsofsick · 12/09/2012 13:20

Sorry. Not normally that irritable

BartiiMus · 12/09/2012 13:29

I cut down BF when I went back to work when DS was 6 months - just morning and evenings and nights

I found it really hard for me to give him a bottle in the day. Just felt wrong. I did it a few times to get him used to it before I went back to work but at the weekends I would usually cave and BF him.

If I had stayed at home I don't know if I'd have ever stopped BF him during the day.

He is now nearly 12 months and just feeds in the evenings and once a night, the rest of his food is solids and one bottle in the afternoon.

What I'm trying (probably badly) to say is that cutting down feeds does not mean you'll have to stop BF completely. I'm fully intending to carry on at least a few more months with just one or two breastfeeds a day.

mrstiggywinklethehappyhedgehog · 12/09/2012 13:47

mummysmells I definitely share your scepticism of HVs, for anything to do with bf I would always get advice from a bf counsellor too, maybe OP could do that too, go to a bf group or speak to one of the helplines - might also reassure your DH that bf at 12mo is still ok!

Original poster
redonculous · 12/09/2012 16:05

Thank you everyone. You've Made me feel a bit better about it. It's hard when everyone is telling me to stop especially DP. My hv has been pretty good up until now, so I didn't think to doubt her opinion on bf'ing.
DD still basically bfs like a newborn although I know she could go longer if she had to.

OP posts:
Belmo · 12/09/2012 16:20

OP I'm exactly the same, my dd has just turned one and 95% milk sounds about right. She's also enormous, 32.5 lb, so we've got a GP review in a couple of weeks and I just know they're going to tell me to cut down milk feeds, DP is suggesting it too. I don't want to, but I'm scared she's not getting enough nutrients. And that I'm making her fat. Argh!

Original poster
redonculous · 12/09/2012 16:53

Belmo, my DD is big too, and I know that's because of all the milk she has (day and night) but I'm also worried she doesn't get enough nutrients. All I ever seem to do is offer her food all day because she will not just sit and eat a whole meal, she prefers to snack. Some times she will go days without eating a bite!

OP posts:
SaissyB · 12/09/2012 17:10

Same situation here! My DD will be one in 3 weeks and is also nearly 30lbs and a similar ratio with bf/solids. She's never taken a bottle and constantly wants to breastfeed day and night, although I'm sure a lot of it is a comfort thing. I was also told by health visitors to let her CIO which I just can't/won't do. DD recently had her 12 month review and the HV was talking about referring her to a dietician because of her size! Sorry nothing helpful to add but it's so good to know others are going through a similar thing!

MigGril · 12/09/2012 17:19

Are yes the snacking thing DS was like this. The only time he would sit still and eat was in the high chair at tea time when we all sat down, I think having a big sister helped with that though. He's better now at 22 months, but it's been a slow transition.

But snacking is quit normal a lot of toddlers snack, after all they still have small tummies and are still growing a lot.

Original poster
redonculous · 12/09/2012 18:23

It's so good to know I'm not the only one going through this.

OP posts:
Belmo · 12/09/2012 19:50

Yes sorry it's not very helpful but I was beginning to think I was the only person in the world with a huge, non-eating baby, so glad to hear there's others out there! I think people think I'm lying and secretly stuffing her with biscuits!

showtunesgirl · 12/09/2012 20:55

It's never easy is it?

I'm worried about the opposite thing. I'm worried that my nine 1/2 month DD is eating too many solids and not getting enough BM! Confused

BartiiMus · 14/09/2012 08:28

Yes showtunes I have the same concern.

DS is less and less interested in BF in the evening since we started gradual withdrawal sleep training which introduced a storybook in between the feed and the sleep (to stop him feeding off to sleep).

He loves books and whinges to have it despite only having fed for 5 minutes!

I still have milk though but I think I have to prepare myself for him self-weaning soon Sad

showtunesgirl · 14/09/2012 09:11

How old is your DS BartiiMus?

BartiiMus · 17/09/2012 15:33

nearly 12 months

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