My 7 month old treats me like a human dummy! Help!

[AnnaLiza]

I'm at my wits end after another terrible night!
He won't take a dummy but he likes to suck a lot of the time at night. We co-sleep and I breastfeed him. We've always done this but when he was younger he would wake up less and it wasn't such an issue. Lately he seems to have discovered what he wants and he's not letting up.
I don't think he's hungry at all. He's really enjoying solids and doing well weight-wise. Also his latch during the night is very shallow and he seems to be surprised and gags when I get a let down.
We've always had a routine of cluster feeding from 8 pm for a an hour or more. We go to bed and he feeds and drifts off to sleep. I let him fee to sleep. Previously he would then sleep soundly in between me and DH and wake up a few times to go back on the boob. Now it's very half an hour! He realises he's not on the boob singe protests and wakes me up! I am devastated...
I have tried to let him sleep in his cot just next to us but he wakes up and cries. I haven't tried any methods such as controlled crying yet.
Has anyone been in the same situation and did anything help or did things get better by themselves?
VVTIA!

Have you tried taking him off just before he falls asleep to see if he'll settle without being fed to sleep? Admittedly I didn't try this until DS was 15 months and I night-weaned him but I find that if he feeds to sleep he needs milk every time he wakes up (roughly every 45 mins) but if he settles himself (I stay with him holding his hand or stroking his back) he settles himself during the night too.

DS was a very sucky baby and co-slept until 15 months, I then night-weaned him and put him in a sidecar cot, at around 17 months we put the side on and he regularly sleeps through now at 19 months. I honestly don't think he was ready for all this any earlier so you may also be in for a wait but I recommend Dr Jay Gordon's advice on night-weaning - even if your LO isn't ready for it, it may be helpful to have some tips.

It's also worth remembering that sucking for comfort is completely normal, there are so many developmental changes in the first year and beyond, plus separation anxiety often starts around this age. If you can't change things yet, try and accept this and try again in a couple of months. Your stress levels (and your baby) will thank you for it!

Have a look at The No Cry Sleep Solution. There were a couple of techniques in there that worked for us to reduce the need to be latched on all the time.

Thank you for your advice. I've had a read of the Jay Gordon method and seems like a "nice" version of the more traditional methods (like the baby whisperer's).
I think you're right, I may not be ready for it just yet though another couple of sleepless nights may well persuade me. Ideally I would like to co-sleep but not wake up more than once or twice. Is this really impossible?
I'm not sure I'm ready to spend a week being up teaching my baby to sleep in his cot and have him very upset or feeling lonely.
Am I completely bonkers?

Of course you're not bonkers... What's the rush?! You're tired, I know - it clouds everything when you're not sleeping well but this is probably just a stage he'll be out the other side of before you know it. He's still only 7 months old, he needs the comfort of knowing his mummy is right there.. If your instincts are to be there for him then do it!

You say you haven't tried any sleep training methods 'yet' - I'm a firm believer that all children will learn to self settle and sleep through (whatever that means) eventually. I have never done cc with DS and he's now able to go to sleep pretty much on his own at night (naps are a different matter!) - the only 'training' he's had is me waiting until he seems ready for each new step before trying it, if it hasn't worked I've waited a while longer. I have a very 'difficult' child when it comes to sleep and saying no to milk.. If I did cio or cc I am absolutely sure he would never actually go to sleep, he'd just cry until he made himself sick or something - if my kid can do it anybody's can, it's just a matter of being patient.

Do you sleep when he sleeps during the day? Can you go to bed when he does for a few nights? These things might help you catch up on sleep so you have more 'energy' to deal with the night 'feeds'

I found I could just drift off once DS was latched on during the night and so would he but I know what you mean about the shallow latch, it's not possible to sleep through that.. I also found once I became pregnant again I couldn't sleep through his feeds which is one of the reasons I decided to night-wean him, but as I say he was 15 months and obviously ready - I don't believe many 7 month old's would be but you may be able to use some of the techniques to unlatch him sooner so you can both get some rest.

It might be worth posting in the breast/bottle feeding forum as well, there's some very knowledgeable ladies over there.

Whatever you decide to do, I hope you get some sleep soon!

Thank you for your message.
Last night was actually much better maybe because I took some valerian and it passed through the milk? I'm not sure of it was the right thing to do or not but it meant he slept more and so did I! Gosh I needed that!