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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Natural term BFing

77 replies

RecursiveMoon · 08/09/2012 20:58

There was a natural term BFing thread about a year ago, and I wondered whether it would be good to have another thread to share experiences etc? Unless there already is and I've missed it .

DS is now 2, and only BFs in the morning. Sometimes I want to stop, and sometimes I want to continue, so I'm not sure that we'll make it until natural term weaning. I never imagined that DS would BF for over 2 years though, and we wouldn't have attempted it w/o advice etc from MN.

I can't preview this properly as I'm on my iPhone .

OP posts:

Pascha · 09/09/2012 09:53

I don't know anyone in RL who BFs or has BFed beyond a few months. No-one really knows about DS still feeding, my mum does in an abstract way, I think, but its just not on the agenda with anyone else as feeding is done early morning mostly.

For all I know many women out there do but none of us see the need to talk about it so the subject is never mentioned.

rubyslippers · 09/09/2012 09:58

DD is 3 years next month and we're stopping then

I've told her it runs out when she starts pre school

She's also getting a present

If I am honest i haven't enjoyed feeding her for a whole but she loves it

I am just so done with it

My DH has been so supportive of me feeding her for this long - he can quote WHO guidelines at all and sundry

rubyslippers · 09/09/2012 09:59

I know a very few people in RL who are doing natural term feeding and one doing tandem feeding

TruthSweet · 09/09/2012 11:02

I have bf DD1 to 3y6m and self weaning, DD2 to 4y8m and self weaning, and Dd3 is 2y10m and counting. DD4 is still cooking but should make an appearance soon .

I have tandem nursed since Nov 2007 except for 1m gap between DD1 stopping and DD3 being born and 2-3m between DD2 stopping and whenever DD4 decides to grace us with her presence. Not tandem nursing feels odd now!

Napdamnyou · 09/09/2012 16:08

DS is 21 months. Still mad for it. But am TTC so feel a bit conflicted...

herecomesthsun · 09/09/2012 16:56

I imagine people are very reticent about it - I certainly was/ am! This was because at about 1 year DH's family and some of our NCT contacts were giving off "you are odd" signals, so it was easier just to get on with it and not discuss it with them any more. As time went by I just didn't discuss it with anyone. I went back to work full time quite early as I am the main breadwinner, and fed at night (and through the night) and in the morning. We also co-slept to facilitate this.

I had quite a lot of illness when he was about 3 (and felt guilty that I wasn't able to spend as much time with him as I would like, or be well enough to give him as much attention and energy as I would have liked). He loved having milky cuddles and I didn't have the heart to stop them. When I got pregnant with no 2, I continued and then tandem fed. Again, I didn't want DS to feel rejected or that he was losing out to the new baby. However, I thought that it was better for him not to be actually bfing when he went to proper school in case it "came out" and there was any negativity from peers. I'd have been very happy to stop earlier than 4 but didn't want to upset DS.

There might be more people than you think like me, who are bfing but quiet about it!

mawbroon · 09/09/2012 17:06

hercomesthesun, ds1 fed right through starting school and beyond and he has never mentioned it to any of his friends ever. It's just not something that he would have thought to do.

I don't know anyone in RL who has fed this long (ds1 is almost 7), but it doesn't bother me really. He will be stopping soon anyway, I said he can have his last milk either on his birthday, or the day before he gets his palate expander, whichever comes first. He's cool with it. He's ready.

herecomesthsun · 09/09/2012 17:31

Yes, well,I think I feel more comfortable as things are (but am still bfing the little one). it meant we were not doing as much with the extended family as we might have done because it was a bit awkward re the late night feed. I was also getting v tired with tandem feeding. And DS is not very good at being discreet (eg demanding "mummy milk" when I was on the phone).

OPeaches · 09/09/2012 18:10

DD is 18 months and still feeding morning, night and when she needs comforting. She'll also happily take cow milk from a bottle from her daddy. She asks me for "mammy boob" and DH for "daddy boob" .

I'm not sure how I feel about stopping. Some days BF annoys me - when she's trailing about after me constantly asking, or when she shouts loudly for it in public. A recent new rule has been that I'll only feed her at home, mainly because she often stops mid-feed for a chat or a look around. Some days I love still BFing her though. When we're snuggled up in bed together it's just the nicest thing in the world.

Original poster

RecursiveMoon · 09/09/2012 21:41

I don't know anyone whose DC's have self weaned or BF beyond a year, although maybe I do and they just haven't mentioned it. Which is why I try to mention it now and then IRL.

OP posts:

Pyrrah · 09/09/2012 21:57

DD still going at 3.4 - am now looking forward to giving up. Have managed to get it down to mornings only since she turned 3, but wasn't easy (occasionally there is the odd night feed).

I'm fairly open about it - just joke that they'll be featuring us in documentaries soon.

I don't feel right weaning her before she's ready.

midori1999 · 09/09/2012 22:13

Can I join the thread please? I am nursing DD who is a 'mere' 14 months, but plan to continue until self weaning. Never thought I'd be here after not managing (after bad 'advice' from health professionals) to BF my first 3DC. I also hope to TTC at the end of the year and to then tandem nurse if DD is still nursing then. I am not sure if that is going to be possible as I only feed from one side, although expressing may be an option from the 'unused' side if I need to. I'm sure we'll work it out, I'm determined. I may need to be as I have been pregnant with twins twice, so who knows what another pregnancy may bring?

I can't imagine being bothered to wean DD myself tbh, much easier to carry on. She doesn't nurse in public much any more, as she's too distracted, but I plan on doing so if needed as long as she is nursing. I also tell anyone who will listen family and friends that I am still nursing, I think I am far from the sterotype of what anyone would imagine a woman to breastfeed a toddler is like and I like to 'get it out there' that all sorts of women do breastfeed toddlers.

I'm not sure my MIL and FIL know I am 'still' breastfeeding though. They are coming to stay in a couple of months. They might get a bit of a shock...

midori1999 · 09/09/2012 22:14

Oh, and if anyone questions me I just point out that WHO guidelines are at least two years old and then reel off so many facts they wish they'd kept quiet...

jaggythistle · 10/09/2012 06:18

i get quite all a fluster trying to get my facts out. there's a girl at work who's quite a bad advert really, she makes it seem extreme and odd and talks rubbish about not being able to drink while bf a 2 year old. she also talks about her boobs a lot.

i feel i have to do my best to mention quietly about DS1 feeding till he was 2 (cue and faces as they've usually
just been saying wtf about breastfeeding) and point out that they still get their year olds a cup of milk in the morning etc. people don't realise about the 2 year recommendation.

i think i will practice before i go back to work this time, or maybe hand out fact sheets...

AngelDog · 10/09/2012 09:11

I'll join please. DS is 2.8; I'm 33 weeks pg and planning on tandemming.

He was losing interest in mid-pregnancy, but has resumed enthusiasm at naptime, bedtime and in the morning.

Apart from others in a natural parenting group I joined, I only know one other person IRL still feeding. It used to be pretty obvious I was feeding (DS would bf in public virtually every day), but when I got pg he stopped asking much. I imagine most people think I've stopped now.

DH would prefer I stopped, but realises it makes all our lives easier (especially when it comes to sleep - DS is dropping his nap and is a nightmare to get to sleep either at bedtime or nighttime without bf).

Original poster

RecursiveMoon · 10/09/2012 09:31

I sent a PDF fact sheet to my family about a year ago jaggythistle . Not to FIL though , he just thinks that we take an inordinate amount of time to actually come downstairs in the morning.

OP posts:

jaggythistle · 10/09/2012 09:55

i think i might do fact sheets then.

my FIL was fairly clueless too, i don't think he even realised that it was ebm in DS1's bottles when i was back at work.

my mum started giving me the face at about 8 months last time, based on how long she bf me. she might be more ok with it this time knowing that DS1 fed for longer and seems to have turned out ok!

spartafc · 10/09/2012 17:17

DS self-weaned at 2.4 ish. I was gutted, to be honest. I loved bf'ing and would have gone on for longer if he'd wanted to.
I'm very glad that bf'ing ended on his 'terms', when he wanted, without any prompting from me. It was gradual, we went from morning and bedtime feeds (and maybe one in the day) to just morning by the time he was 2. Then he stopped asking for the morning feed.
I think my DH was quite pleased when we stopped, but he hadn't ever put any pressure on me to give up. I think he just was aware that we don't know anyone else who bf for that long.
Personally, I couldn't give two hoots how long anyone bfs for. I just know it was right for me and my DS to go on as long as he needed to.

MeerkatMerkin · 10/09/2012 17:55

DS is 20 months and still feeds a lot! I would have liked to have been pregnant by now (TTC for 9 months although period only returned in April... and have only had 3 so far) but I guess the frequency of DS's feeds is prohibiting that for now. I would like him to self wean when he is ready, I'm trying to only nurse at home but he is a bit of a fiend.

MIL really disapproves. My DM and DGM don't ever say anything negative although neither fed past a few months themselves. Sadly I have no friends who have fed/are feeding natural term.

Anyone got any tips on teaching DS nursing manners? Right now he is currently bouncing up and down on me shrieking for milk (no words, just whinging) - it gets a bit tiresome!

Pyrrah · 10/09/2012 23:43

I had one woman tell me it was disgusting at a dinner I was at. The best thing ever was the 50 year-old man sitting opposite telling her that the words breast-feeding and disgusting didn't belong in the same sentence, that he had been breast-fed till he was 3 and that his sisters all did extended breast-feeding.

Living in London and not having a car I was still feeding DD on the tube and on the bus and pretty much anywhere else until she was 3. Never got an unpleasant comment - but did get lots of positive ones.

DoubleYew · 11/09/2012 04:44

Ds is 2.2 and feeds like a baby still, many many times a day. If we are at home he will ask a lot but I do try and put him off a bit when we are out and I don't feel comfortable.

Don't know anyone else who is still bfs at this type of age. I feed him at toddler groups so I'm sure someone would have mentioned it if they still were. I get people acting all flustered and flummoxed when I start. Or telling me they could never have carried on for more than a couple of months and I'm a saint.

I actually see it as easier than stopping but when I tried that line with my ex he accused me of being lazy, blah blah. He was really supportive at the start but now uses it as an excuse why ds isn't happy with him, which is bollocks as he's gone all day without it before and not been fussed. One of the good things about splitting up is I feel more able to let ds carry on.

My mum fed us all til we were 1 and she was quite negative about carrying on but having stayed with us for a few months she can see how much it means to him and how useful it is. It got to the point were she was saying, "why don't you just give him a feed now?" so I think she has accepted it.

Original poster

RecursiveMoon · 11/09/2012 09:34

I'm not sure about how to teach nursing manners either Meerkat - DS usually stands by the side of the bed, but at least I get to lie down I suppose . He then climbs up, then down, then up, then down...

OP posts:

MeerkatMerkin · 11/09/2012 10:18

I am trying to teach him to say "milk please" rather than just climbing on, clawing and pulling my top up/down - he has got as far as saying "milk" but still tantrums if I don't give in immediately, even if I'm on the toilet having a wee! Now that is just rude!

Pyrrah · 11/09/2012 15:57

Ugh, acrobatic nursing drives me crazy.

That and DD went through a very long phase of insisting of tweaking the other boob while she was feeding - it really hurt and we had massive fights about it. Mainly because she would mostly do it at night knowing that I would try hard to keep noise down to avoid waking DH.

EauRouge · 11/09/2012 16:07

Marking my place too. DDs are 18mo and 3.11yo, both still going strong.

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