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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

New Mum...confused

27 replies

TysMum · 22/12/2003 11:47

My son is now 10 weeks old and still breastfeeding every 2hrs. I have managed to get him to do his long sleep from 10am - 3am but this is the only time he will go without feeding for longer than 2- 2 1/2hrs. My mother in law says I should make him wait longer but it just seems to me he spends an hour crying. I don't think this is great for him but am I just being over anxious about him? Should he be going longer between feeds by now? He puts on about 8oz a week. Thanks

OP posts:
twiglett · 22/12/2003 11:50

message withdrawn

MincePie · 22/12/2003 11:55

I agree with Twiglett, whatever feels ok for you. The weight gain sounds spot on.

My DD2 is 11 weeks old and still feeding every 2 houts when she is awake, then she will sleep about the same time at night, that being the biggest break. The ONLY other time she goes more than 2 hours is if someone takes her on a mamouth 3/4 hour trip in her pushchair.

But right now it doesn't bother me. I do make a point to try EVERYTHING else before offering her the breast though...playing, nappy change, sleep, dummy (which she hates) but she wants feeding. So the only thing I would consider doing in your place is just making sure it isn't something else he wants and then give him a feed.

good luck

pie

JeniN · 22/12/2003 11:59

Hi Tysmum, my dd was similar, so I can really relate to this. First though, how do you feel about feeding so regularly? If its working for you then don't worry what anyone else says. Does he feed well, do you think, or does he have a little and then fall asleep? I only ask because one of the most useful things i did was phone up the breastfeeding counsellors and they gave me some advice on getting her to feed more efficiently (she was taking an hour to feed and still feeding really regularly). This did speed her up a bit, and really helped me. She still (at 14 weeks) takes 6/7 feeds a day, which I think is a bit more than most, but the pattern suits me and when I try to change it she just fusses and crys more which I don't think helps either of us. Also one of my friends tries to make her dd go longer without feeds but she just crys for ages and now she's not gaining weight well, so it doesn't seem worth it to me. Good luck with everything.

TinselDragon · 22/12/2003 11:59

I think he sounds like he's doing fine too. My DSs didn't go longer between daytime feeds until they were weaned. They simply slept longer at night. I think they fed roughly every 3 hours.

Chandra · 22/12/2003 12:19

I agree with the rest, you need to do what best suits you, something that may help is to try to keep the baby awake while feeding that way he will drink more and hopefully will space his feedings a bit.

tiktok · 22/12/2003 12:19

TysMum, if you call one of the bf helplines they will reassure you about this. Why does your MIL say he 'should' feed differently? What is wrong with what he is doing now? He is thiving, and has a five hour gap at the time that is most convenient to you....where is the problem? If you think about it, most adults will not go longer than 2-2 and a half hours without eating or drinking something, because they are hungry, thirsty or just want the relaxed comfort of a cup of tea or coffee. (For example, breakfast at 8, maybe 2 cups/tea of coffee before lunch at 1, and then a mid afternoon drink and biscuit, at 3 or so, and another one at about 5.30, then a meal at 7 and a cup of tea or coffee while watching TV, then maybe another drink before bedtime). Why should a tiny baby be expected to go longer than an adult?

And no, an hour or so crying would not be good for you, and it wouldn't be good for your baby, either.

You are doing just fine.

Helsbels · 22/12/2003 12:22

If you ask 10 people you will get ten opinions - do what you think is right - if that changes in a week or a month then change - until then do what makes you happy - it's your body and your baby. When people give you advice smile, thank them and then ignore them

Epigirl · 22/12/2003 12:27

TysMum, couldn't agree more with everyone else - especially tiktok and Helsbels. Fed dd about every 2 hours until she weaned and now ds (16 weeks). Also did/do the smile and ignore advice thing.

If you enjoy the bf then enjoy it whilst it lasts. I know it seems like forever at 10 weeks but before you know it its down to 2 feeds a day...

If you and ds are happy then why change? What you describe certainly seems perfectly normal to me.

Good luck!!

alohappychristmas · 22/12/2003 12:33

He sounds perfect to me Tysmum. Why 'should' you change him or yourself? I think you sound like you enjoy him and you wouldn't if he was crying all the time. You are both doing great.

udar · 22/12/2003 14:09

No experience myself expecting Mar/Apr but saw a really interesting baby whisperer on Sunday. She mentioned that towards the end of the day unless a mother makes a big effort to have enough protein calories the milk is less filling and therefore the baby won't get as full.
This could make sense with the timing of the long sleep if it is 10am-3pm. If it is 10pm to 3am then this theory doesn't work.

SnowFlakeyZebra · 22/12/2003 14:10

I would really like to hear TikTok make a few choice comments on that one!!!

TysMum · 22/12/2003 14:54

All the advice and encouragment much appreciated. Am really enjoying it and he definately doesn't seem to be snacking. He normally feeds for 15- minutes and just seems to be really good at getting at the milk quickly. He doesn't ever fall asleep while docked. The only time he is different is the feed at around 7/8pm when he feeds for ages and takes both breasts. My breasts never seem as full then either. I have tried eating huges meals at different times of day and it still stays the same. Any ideas?. Will cdertainly use the smile and ignore tactic though, thanks!

OP posts:
Helsbels · 22/12/2003 14:55

Good for you Tysmum - this time goes so quickly just enjoy it!!

Demented · 22/12/2003 15:20

It sounds like his is doing really well Tysmum, even when my DS2 was 16 months I don't think he could take a feed in 15 mins. If he is putting on 8oz in a week you must be making plenty of milk, you do get to the point when your boobs don't feel so full so I wouldn't worry about that. If you are happy with the demand feeding then stick to it, they sleep through eventually .

tiktok · 22/12/2003 15:48

Baby Whisperer? Huh, I'd like to YELL a few things in her earhole, I can tell you.

Look - how can I put this politely? Heck, I won't bother. The woman knows ZILCH about breastfeeding. Her TV programme has just given her a larger stage on which to parade her ignorance. Does she spend time literally thinking it all up, I wonder? She certainly doesn't spend the time reading the literature. This is the woman who discovered a wholly new type of milk, called 'quencher milk' which she reckons comes between foremilk and hindmilk (which are not 2 different types of milk, either - just a description of the way milk becomes creamier as it is removed). So dreaming up some rule about eating more protein and beating mothers around the head with it will be childsplay.

It makes no sense at all, sorry. The calorie content of breastmilk is driven by the fat content, primarily. That is driven by the effectiveness of the baby feeding (removing the milk effectively).

Babies needing more milk and/or comfort in the evenings is common - applies to formula fed babies as well.

Eat more protein if you want to, but it won't make any difference.

That do you, SFZ???

MincePie · 22/12/2003 15:52
Grin
SusannaLH · 22/12/2003 17:00

LOL tiktok. While reading b/whisperer and watching tv prog helped me - just in terms of losing feeling of failure for not having baby dd in g/f bootcamp regime, her views on b/feeding really suck IMO. She had one woman putting massive plasters on her boobs so she would hold them properly when feeding. Also told same woman that she should avoid worrying about her husband (in army) being away as her milk'd dry up!

SnowFlakeyZebra · 22/12/2003 18:15

Bless You, TikTok. My knickers were really in a twist about that one!!

boozysoozywong · 22/12/2003 18:24

But I've just scoffed a pound of bbq roast pork ..... ho hum, get sucking baby or it'll go straight on to the tyre then

I've only seen her on tv once and she came across as a right old hard-faced bossy mare

mistletoes · 22/12/2003 19:37

I fed DD nearly every 2 hours (every 1.5 hours during the first 4 weeks) for nearly 16 weeks - I think it went down to 3 hours during the evening, but I felt like I never got ANY sleep at all for 16 weeks. My friends gave me more grief than anyone. They said they'd never seen anyone feed so frequently. But DD was healthy and grew well, and when I look back on that time, I don't regret it at all.

My question, while all you breastfeeding mumsnetters are around is this- is there a clear answer on whether you should breastfeed from 1 breast or 2 during a feed? Or is this a completely personal choice? I always only did 1 side at a feed. TIA

tiktok · 23/12/2003 09:40

Misletoes - there is no rule about one side or two. This is one of those bits of info that has people unnecessarily confused. It's personal choice, ok, but mainly of the baby ; )

The 'first' breast - the baby needs to show you by his behaviour he has had whay he wants from this. You can then take this as a natural break while the baby has a rest from feeding (just as older humans sometimes naturally do during a meal rather than gobbling everything down without a pause). If the baby seems to be still responsive or only in a light sleep, then offer the 'second' breast. Some feeds turn into three or four or more 'sided' feeds. Some babies only ever want one breast - mothers who are generous producers often end up only ever feeding from one breast. It doesn't really matter, as long as the baby is thriving.

udar · 23/12/2003 10:09

Will keep all this fab info in mind for my turn when it comes.

mistletoes · 23/12/2003 13:22

Thanks, tiktok. With my DD1, I didn't have the benefit of Mumsnet - didn't know about it - but read loads of books. I stupidly thought that there would be a definitive answer on the question of 1 or 2 breasts, but couldn't find one and didn't understand that there really is no answer. DD1 only fed from 1 breast per feed.

TysMum · 23/12/2003 16:08

Fantastic info as I spent the first weeks worrying about 1 breast or two and will certainly pass that advice on. I think when you are new to this all the advice about the foremilk coming first makes you worry about 2 breasts and if baby seems full after one you feel that maybe something is wrong. No more baby books with this website, every new Mum should get a leaflet about it on discharge from hospital.
Being new to this and a bit silly what do DD and DS stand for. I gather they are children but what does it mean?

OP posts:
GladTidings · 23/12/2003 16:17

Tysmum -

Abbreviations are as follows:

DS = Dearest or Darling son
DD = " " daughter
DH = " " Husband
DP = " " Partner

etc etc,

The rest you just make up as you go along.

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