Last chance saloon

[HulainHawaii]

I've tried to breast feed my baby without sucess for the last 8 weeks. Various factors played a part - traumatic and long labour, emcs, poorly baby, poor advice from midwives, HV and GP. He has defeated a lactation consultant with 25 years experience.

We've moved on from hysteria and uncontrollable crying when the breast is offered. Baby isn't freaked out by my breast any more - but still doesn't latch. He is a fan of licking or just holding his mouth open waiting for milk to fall in.

So after 8 long and tiring weeks, I'm nearly ready to conceed defeat and give up trying to breastfeed.

BUT before I throw in the towel - is there anything else I can try?

Oh, poor you. You must be exhausted.
Have you seen someone from La Leche League?
Expressing? Giving him your milk in a bottle.

Hula whatever you decide to do, you don't need to stop snuggling your baby to your breast whenever either or both of you want to do. You may decide that the 'milk' bit of bf has to cease, but the 'physical closeness' bit of it does not have to.

I have known mothers whose babies have latched on spontaneously after many weeks of fights and tears - as if once the struggle has been conceded as 'lost', a more relaxed and accepting 'vibe' kicks in :)

Don't feel bad if you give up breastfeeding but if it is something you want to do then get more help, I had difficulties & had help from an NCT breastfeeding counsellor over the phone, help from mumsnet (although I did cry!), help at a breastfeeding group & ultimately my DD had her tongue tie sorted & the lactation expert got her back on the breast for the second time & she really explained how to boost my milk supply as it wasn't quite enough when I was expressing.
Good luck with it all, it's a living nightmare & can be so emotional with difficulties!

My first baby couldn't latch on and the consultant was rubbish IMO and I was so upset but it just wasn't working for us. But it wasn't all bad I found it very Upsetting at first but she just couldn't latch we tried everything so formula it was. But after a week you will be in the swing of it if that's what you need to do.

No advice other than maybe expressing and using a bottle rather than latching?

Saying that expressing didn't work for me and although latch was fine to begin with seemingly low supply, weight loss then ff top ups meant by 8wks he got lazy on a bottle and refused breast so after weeks of attempting to pump and never getting more than half an oz I accepted defeat.

Still with DS at 8mo i regret how it worked out but he is such a happy smiley baby I'm trying not to dwell on it anymore. I know it's a tough decision though

I would say just have as much skin to skin as possible, baths together etc and try and relax about it. If you can express and are prepared to express and keep up milk supply, then you can feed expressed milk and your baby may decide to latch eventually.

I have a friend whose baby didn't latch for 3 months and then one day just did and I know that's not an isolated case.

I've also been chatting to/helping a friend whose baby wouldn't latch and although she is younger than your baby, only 4 weeks old, she spent a weekend in bed with her doing as much skin to skin as possible and the baby latched on the Sunday night, albeit with a shield, but has been feeding from the breast ever since.

I agree with the skin to skin suggestion alongside getting more RL support. I also had a traumatic labour & poorly baby followed by poor advice. I saw five midwives, one HV and two BF specialists who all gave crap advice. It was my desperate posts on MN that finally got me the support I needed.

How have you been feeding him so far? Is his weight gain ok?

I spent the first 12 weeks topless in bed with DS getting breastfeeding going. I just fed(or tried to) constantly. He did get the hang of it eventually. I tried all sorts of positions, latch techniques, would squeeze milk in & stroke his jaw to remind him to suck (or try to).

It was so hard as he was tongue tied & couldn't really latch on at all, plus I was clueless. It's been disrupted three times now & is still there but we've muddled through & are still BFing at five months.

Sounds like you really want to BF, really hope you manage to get the right support

OP I presume he's been checked for a tongue tie?

My LO wouldn't (or couldn't?) latch on without a nipple shield. He's eventually come off it, but have you tried one? ( I prefere the medulla one, the tommee teepee made my nipples feel like they were being cheese grated!!)

You can still have plenty of hugs and snuggled with your baby! Skin to skin is lovely and also bath times together, or even if they are awake, you can still snuggle down with a song or story!

Like other posters, have they checked for tongue tied? Or have you tried bf lying down? Also, you didn't mention whether he was putting on weight or not. If so, he must be getting enough from you.

Hula, come back......:)

Agree with tiktok - I'm one of those mums that struggled with a fighting , angry baby who wouldn't latch and constantly punched my poor boobies.

At about 10 weeks (I think!) I actually gave up all together, and he got nothing but bottle for 5 days. Then, I decided to give it one last go, got into the bath with him, and he just latched all by himself, and fed for 20 minutes. I was so scared he'd stop, I stayed shock still! And here we are, at week 20, and breast-feeding couldn't be going better.