Where am I going wrong?

[melonribena]

Hi.
I've posted recently about my 6 week old baby feeding constantly and I have received some super advice, but surely this can't be normal.
He sleeps reasonably well at night, sleeping from 9-12, feed, 1-4, feed, 5-7.30, up and feed.
But during the day I am struggling to cope. He literally feeds all day, he will feed and then comfort suck, so I break him off and he cries.
He won't sleep for longer than 5 mins and won't sit happily in his bouncy chair or anything else.
I am st my wits end because I don't get anything done and leaving the house is a nightmare cos I have to stop regularly on walls or drives to feed and then dash home for more feeding.
What can I do? How are other babies going 3/4 hours between feeds?
I feel a failure and my nipples are so painful from the constancy.
I am sick of sitting in and want to take him out more but it's impossible.
My partner has to literally do everything around the house and work full time while I sit on the sofa. I feel like a burden.
Any suggestions? Should I abandon breastfeeding?

melon, it can be so hard when you have a newborn who needs you in this way. I'm assuming your baby is healthy and thriving, BTW.

Things to remember:

• he is a newborn - 6 weeks is tiny
• you are nurturing the next generation and your partner's son as you sit on the sofa :) That's not being 'a burden' most babies of 6 weeks are not going 3-4 hours between feeds....that would be very unusual, for ff or* bf babies
• his night time waking/feeding/sleeping is actually very regulated for a baby who is so young....it's not surprising he needs more in the day

Right.....apart from all that, you may benefit from going to a bf support group, not just to give you social contacts and a bit of friendship, but to see if someone there can observe a feed and see if your feeding can be made more comfortable for you (your nipples should not be sore), and checking he has no tongue tie. Babies who love feeding and being close like this are sometimes happy in a sling, and you can feed in a sling (with practice) without stopping what you are doing...and that would make life easier, yes?

Hope this helps.

Hi there,

This sounds just like my daughter at 6 weeks. She would cry when not on the boob, I'd put her down asleep and she'd be awake in 10 minutes. I couldn't even walk down the road to my older daughter's nursery school with her in a pram without her screaming all the way there and back! in fact she never did go in her pram much at all!

It is really really hard, but it sounds like you're doing a brilliant job responding to her needs. I found a sling to be a lifesaver, I had a 'caboo' carrier from mothercare because I couldn't manage the tie your own fabric variety. I carried her round the house if she wasn't feeding and she seemed very settled in it.

I never thought she'd stop constantly feeding, but then at 3 ish months, she seemed to become more aware and interested in the world and fed less often. I did also introduce a dummy which isn't everyone's cup of tea, but it helped my very sucky daughter settle off occasionally. At 15 months she still falls asleep on the boob, I pop her off and give her a dummy to suck (otherwise I couldn't look after my other dd!)

All in all it does get easier, and feeds gradually get shorter, although it doesn't feel like it at the time.

Just picking up on your title for the thread....you are not doing anything 'wrong' at all. Is this whole thing a confidence issue rather than (solely) a feeding issue, maybe?

Very few six week olds are going 4 hours between feeds! It's perfectly normal for a baby of this age to feed every 90 minutes. And you say he's comfort-sucking not feeding. How do you know? He might be trying to get your supply up so that he can get more at a feed. Please don't break him off and stop him sucking - you're probably making life more difficult for both of you. If he's not sleeping well during the day then he may be hungry. There will be days when you're pinned to the sofa, but on the upside you get very peaceful nights! You're doing fine - go with what he wants. Babies are on the whole very sensible and know what they need - don't try and make him adopt a routine he's not ready for.

The only thing I would suggest is to get your latch checked - if feeds are taking longer than about 15 minutes by this age then he may not be feeding efficiently, hence needing to suck a lot.

Thank you everyone. I've got an appointment to get him checked for latch and tongue tie on Friday and hopefully that will sort the pain and get feeds more efficient.
I also purchased a wrap and will give it a go! Thank you all for your advice xx

Zeleika - you're wrong about feeds taking more than 15 mins at this age being something to check out....that's well within normal times.

melon , hope things go well for you :)

Just to add my DS fed every hour during the day until 12 weeks but similar to you at night. He was tongue tied but it continued even after we got it sorted. Then after the 12 week growth spurt he suddenly started going 2-3 hourly and now 3-4 hourly at 4-5 months.

Hello again! Just to update, had a posterior tongue tie snipped yesterday and baby seems so much more chilled! I'm actually sitting down with a cuppa and about to make lunch!!

:)

Excellent news OP. good luck.
My 3 month old had a PTT snipped at 4 weeks and it made a huge difference. However he only tends to go a max of 2 hours between feeds in the day and probably 4 hours at night. My expectations were unrealistic at first but MN and other forums like this helped me realise this is our "normal" and to go with the flow.
Enjoy your baby.