Help! 4month old wont settle at breast!

[Busyalexsmummy]

Dont know whats going on with ds, he'll be 4 months on the 27th and was exclusively breastfed for 4 wks, then I was giving a top-up bottle in the evenings as I couldnt cope with the constant feeding. He is now breastfed all day until 3pm, when he 5oz of formula-so that he will go down for a nap at the same time as my 2yr old. he then wakes at approx 5pm, and is breastfed until 8pm, when he has anougher 6oz of formula, and then usually thats it for the night and hes down until 7am or so the following morning.
The last week or so, hes becoming very difficult to feed, he starts crying because hes hungry, but then when I put him on, hes on and off and on and off.I thought initially he had wind so have tried burping him, sometimes this is the case, but he still wont settle, he just keeps coming off every few sucks. And when I do bring him off to burp him, he goes mental, screaming the house down!
Im finding it hard to deal with as my 2yr old is being very demanding lately and its hard anough trying to cope with him without a baby that wont just settle down and feed!
What could be the problem?

I wish someone could take my 2 yr old off me for a few days so i could concentrate on feeding, but Ive noone to do that so...
Have asked dp to concentrate on ds1 tomorrow morning and am going to lie in bed all morning feeding ds2-thing is, what do I do when he's getting frustrated? he gets very wound up after a few sucks , do i try and console him for 10mins to let breasts fill up a little bit more and try again or what? he doesnt seem to like sucking when theres not alot coming out!

If he gets all upset then just cuddle him. He might get upset because he actually doesn't want any more than a few sucks. Babies will always take a bottle when offered whether they are hungry or not so remember that. Once he has settled then you can offer him again. Does your DP have weekends off? Could you wait till he is around more for support with DS1?

Maybe just keep changing sides? Cos milk does keep coming in all the time I think. That's what I do with mine when there doesn't seem to be anything coming out in the evenings. Not that I hae much experience

BTW, the breasts are never empty

OK ignore me

Good idea Beartime

will try! (really hate that "sucking on thin air" feeling when there not alot there) do you think "rebirthing" in the bath might be a good idea? will try to not come online tomorrow, and conentrate on feeding all day so will let you know how it goes , tomorrow eve/w-end

thanks

I think rebirthing in the bath is more appropriate for newborns who are rejecting the breast.
That said, I often bathed with my babies and they often looked for feeds at the same time. Will do no harm

Thanks for all the advice, didnt give any bottles over the weekend at all, just b/f whenever he was hungry.
Was still pulling hair out yesterday, so rang HV, who said he was probably teething, try teething gel 10mins before a feed and maybe put him on baby rice as hes started waking through night again
Was still having major problems this morning, so rang LLL and was on the phone for an hour whilst she quized me on loads of stuff and finally came to the conclusion that it was probably all down to ds1 keep knocking him on the head whilst hes feeding=bad feeding assosiation,so.....have been taking him in bedroom and lying down with blanket over his head and my shoulder and .....its working!!, hes still fussing a bit, but not nearly as much as when I feed him in the living room.
So Im hoping I can do this for a week or two and then he'll be relaxed enough to feed him in the lounge again!

Hi Busy

I have just come on here to beg for some advice on the same subject and am relieved its not just me. After night of hell with DH home late from work DD2 screaming and not feeding then finally getting her to feed only to have DD1 kick her in the head and us all ending up in tears i thought I should look for some advice. DD2 is 5mths and this has been going on since 3 mths on and off. Sporadic screaming, refusing to feed - only feeding lying down in a quiet room - impossible with 2yr old. I fed DD1 for a year so would be gutted for it to end now - anyway she wont take a bottle at all. She did have reflux when she was little and I had to give her gaviscon which used to upset her and DD2 does do this anoying thing of worming her way inbetween me trying to breastfeed screaming baby and the back of the sofa kicking us both which really stresses me out.

Busy how do you manage to sneak off into another room ? DD2 always follows me and climbs on top of us on the bed - even if I put Madagasca on and give her a big bowl of grapes !!

It is such a nightmare and upsetting all round as I feel guilty for shouting at DD2 and guilty for making DH come home in time for the 7 oclock feed every night.

Good to know I'm not alone tho,

Magic

have you got stairgates? we have a stairgate on our bedroom door(maisonette) and then I leave the bedroom door wide open so ds1 can still see me, have you got a partner? could he take your 2yr old on the weekend/amuse her in anougher room, whilst you go somewhere else and feed?
what happens if you go into anougher room? does she scream etc? have you tried bribery?-eg "if you let mummy go in here and feed ___,for 5 mins, you can have a chocolate button/smartie.....and a sticker"? you might find she throws an eppy but its worth a try, and if she does, go OTT on the praise.
Today we had an incident where ds1 hit him round the head really hard, just as he was dozing off and he was hysterical, it took me 35mins to calm him down and he was so distressed he was choking on his own saliva...even when he fell asleep, he was still sobbing on and off

its really hard isnt it and I really do empathise