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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Bf group long ranty moan

7 replies

Softlysoftly · 01/09/2012 08:40

Went to bf group for some support on frequency of feeds and to check DD2s weight. Had no childcare for DD1 (2.11) so took her along. I thought it was fine as the bf counciller had brought her boy (school age) one week, it was in a children's hospital, it was next to a huge room full of toys to keep her distracted and my HV who reccomended it knows I have her hadn't said otherwise.

Anyway arrived bf counseller and mw supporter were fine, then as the room filled up a HV arrived saw I had DD1 (who was impeccably behaving) and said she had to ask me to leave due to health and safety, that other groups allowed toddlers but not them. She said it nicely but I had been dropped off so had to call DH out of a meeting to come get me.

She then took the bf counseller out to "tell her about the situation", I'm a situation at this point??, asked me if I needed specific help then to ask now basically so I could get out (with nowhere to go), at this point DD1 picked up my tension and started to act out, not bad but taking her shoes off and sitting on a baby mat (no baby on it!), I had to de-latch DD2 and drag DD1 out, DD2 started screaming hungry, DD1 who hadn't really done wrong got upset and I had to leave with two screaming children was so so embarrased.

By the time DH arrived it took 20 minutes to calm my 12 week old and a bottle ironically!!

Now I know if they are the rules they are the rules but should I have been told as I arrived?? The BF counseller basically didn't seem to agree and hadnt said anything even letting DD1 eat her snacks when I asked. And most importantly as DH pointed out what I'f I was still feeding DD1?? Does support stop as soon as they walk, what about tandem feeding issues? And do women with no childcare get no bf support?

Sorry random rant and I'm probably being unfair but I'm not going there again :(

OP posts:
AmandinePoulain · 01/09/2012 08:44

That's appalling! Was it an NHS group? If so I'd go through PALS and make a complaint. How do they expect mums with older children to access support then?! And I'd also mention the counsellor bringing her own child in your complaint, it can't be one rule for her and another for you!

PeggyCarter · 01/09/2012 08:54

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Softlysoftly · 01/09/2012 08:56

It is NHS in a children's hospital, DH was ready to go in and kick up a stink he used stronger words as he picked up all three of us crying but I thought as they were the rules I was in the wrong. Daren't post this in AIBU in case I got a kicking!

Maybe I wasn't wrong taking her...

OP posts:
Softlysoftly · 01/09/2012 09:01

And no I didn't get the advice I was too stressed to focus.

I wanted to check my positioning that I use on my chair at home as DD2 still asks to feed really frequently at 12 weeks and I think she's not getting a great transfer, she often comes on and off and gets in a tizz like there is nothing there although when I hand express it sprays! I'm wondering if it's latch, me misreading her signals so she's not actually hungry or if she could have a problem with her mouth such as thrush or teething?

OP posts:
PeggyCarter · 01/09/2012 09:04

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PeggyCarter · 01/09/2012 09:08

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SirBoobAlot · 01/09/2012 09:10

As an NHS peer supporter, I'm so sorry you had this experience, please complain. And please go back next week, you deserve some support. The rules at my (childrens center based) group are up up to five age wise, but on occasions mums have turned up with older children (especially during the holidays) of course I've let them stay, I can't imagine turning away a mum who needed some help. I'm really really sorry. Quite embarrassed and angry actually.

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