Is there even any point going to Dr ref BFing and STILL no period (want to TTC)

[nannyl]

DD is nearly 12m old

I am desperate to get pg again, and have a small-ish age gap with number 2. (I would have hoped in an ideal world to be about 3m pg by now!!!!)

BUT she still has 3 good BFs a day (was 4 until last week) and i still have not had a period.

I did fertility awareness when TTC (which worked 1st time) and im pretty confident i have not ovulated and my monthly cycle has not restarted at all.

Im thinking about going to the Dr. BUT not sure there is anything they can do? is there? (except tell me to stop / reduce BFing, and i dont want to force DD to stop / reduce her BFs at this point, so am not going to be doing that this side of Xmas, unless she self weans herself)

(I have also taken a couple of pg tests, even though i KNOW im not pg, just to confirm that i am not; a couple of my still BFing friends are now in the 2nd trimester of their second pregnancies)

I went to the doc when I was having no joy ttc no 2 and was basically told that they wouldn't do anything until I had stopped breastfeeding.

My cycle came back at about 14 months, but it took until he was 3.5yo before I conceived because the feeding was shortening my luteal phase.

Is she still night feeding? It was stopping the night feeding that did the trick for me.

I am sure the average age for periods returning is something like 14months, but I might have made that up....

no night feeds here... she has hardly had any night feeds since 6m old

she has a massive feed at 7pm
a medium feed at 7am
and a small ish feed at 3pm

Thank you for confirming that there is probably no point going to the Dr yet

Hi having BF for over 6 years (4 DC), I have never had a period whilst still feeding - even if only 1 or 2 feeds a day. My periods did however return quite quickly once I stopped.

I think of it as natures way to ensure we have decent space between our DC, a natural contraceptive - though of course it's not always what we want.

Sorry to say, but if it's important to conceive ASAP, feeding will in all likely hood have to stop.

I've just got my first period. Dd is not quite 13 months old. No night feeds since about 9 weeks and only 2 feeds a day for about 9 weeks

I seem to remember it was the sanevwoth Ds

Even when BF a couple of times a day I didn't have a period. I was visiting the fertility nurse anyway due to longrunning problems conceiving DC1 and she said they couldn't give me any help or treatment while breastfeeding.

I decided about 16mo to wean him (so knackered) and immediately got pregnant naturally that month. I miscarried but had extremely regular periods after that and am now pregnant again.

So my experience is unless you have tried not breastfeeding, there is little doctors will do about TTC.

GRRR

this is just what i thought the replies would be... but not what i wanted them to be.

i hadnt realised 14m was "average" though, so i guess i shouldnt even expect a chance for at least another couple of months, and if i do, its a bonus.

may have to weigh up self weaning with having DC 2 though, which will be very hard as i firmly believe in self weaning (so long as weaned by starting school!), and she shows no signs of weaning yet.

I know nanny, I was really frustrated by feeling like I couldn't TTC in earnest when still breastfeeding as I didn't want to wean earlier than my DS was happy with. (And I was pretty sure I wasn't ovulating.)

BUT the fertility nurse put it like this: "We can do blood tests but without knowing where in your cycle it is, there isn't a lot we can tell from it. So we can't really know if you are fertile or not at this stage.

And if you were not ovulating because there was a problem that wasn't just no periods due to breastfeeding, what could we do? All we would be able to do is give you drugs etc (Clomid) which you wouldn't want to take anyway if breastfeeding. So that leaves us without many options."

When she put it like that, I reassessed and decided that for me, weaning relatively soon was probably the best idea. For other people, waiting to wean would be the right thing.

Sorry there isn't a better answer. Pesky bodies.

Hiya,

sorry but I think I might make things even worse with my answer..!

I breastfed ds1 till about 16 months and mine ame back soon after that, then I had ds2 four years after ds1, and breastfed him till he was about 4 and a half, and my periods started again when he was 28 months old.

It was weird but quite nice not having periods for that long! Though there were a few times I thought about trying to have another baby and of course it wasn't possible. So I feel for you.

I don't know if cutting down might help - I just fed on demand with ds2, pretty full on really including at night as he co slept (and still does at 5...need to oust him, having dc3 in January!)

Good luck xx

On the other hand, I have got pg 3 times while bfing.

DD1 was 11m and bfing 4 times a night and 12+ times in 24hrs when I conceived DD2. My periods had come back when she was 9w as she was bottle fed (I expressed 12 times a day but she had a lot of formula) until 8 weeks when we got her back to bfing.

DD2 was 13m old when I got pg with DD3, my periods came back at 11m after DD2 had had a chest infection so wasn't nursing as much for a short spell (plus being in hospital DD1 wasn't getting any!). I was tandem nursing DD1 & DD2 so feeding about 20 times a day when I conceived, including a few times at night for DD2.

DD3 was 2y 2m and DD3 was 4y 1m when I conceived DD4, my periods came back at 11m again (and again coincided with one of DD3's many hospital admissions). They weren't nursing as much (obv) as DD1 & DD2 were when DD3 was conceived, perhaps only 2-3 times a day from DD3 and completely random from DD2 as she could go 2-3 weeks without nursing and then have a few goes in the one day if she was in a lot of pain.

If anything I have got MORE fertile the longer I have bf for, DD1 took 5 cycles to get pg with, DD2 took one month of trying, DD3 took the once (!) and DD4 was not only unplanned (but a very happy surprise) but conceived using contraception, 2 1/2m after a gynae op and 2m after a burst ovarian cyst and I didn't stop bleeding from the op until I was about 3m pg......

It's not a given that you HAVE to wean to conceive but for some women any bfing halts their return to fertility. It's up to you to weigh up how much self weaning means to you, would you be dreadfully upset if after weaning DD, you still didn't have a period/ovulated or found out that there was an unrelated to bfing reason for the lack of periods. Have you monitored any fertility signs to see if there are any cyclical changes in cervical mucous or temp spikes? I have often heard 'Taking Charge Of Your Fertility' is a good book to read if you are TTC so perhaps try the library for a copy?

Good luck with the TTC.

Mine came back around 14 months we were down to two feeds a day. I had slight cramping two or tbree months before they returned. I had two periods before I got pg with dc 2. I am still feeding and trying to work out the best strategy for weaning dc 1 as I dont want to tandem feed. You don't nesaceraly (sp) have to stop breastfeeding to concieve good luck!

thanks for helpful replies

wow truthsweet

yes i have TCOYF and agree its amazing book. I would be surprised if i had any "problems" as before i got pg i had a text book perfect cycle... i had done temps / CM etc for months before and i used it to prevent pregancy in many previous cycles, and then got pg the first month we tried for a baby.
I certainly havent noticed any CM changes yet (i am desperate for some EWCM but nothing yet...)

i dont think temp-ing is practical with a baby due to having needed to lie still for 4 hours and do it at exactly the same time each day, with a baby who does sometimes need comfort (but not milk) at night.

I had a smear last week and my cervix was very very high... another sign that (at least on that day) it wasnt even close to making a baby

oh well..... yes I know so many people who have got pg while BFing (even those stil doing night feeds).... but at this point in time, i cant see it being me

DD fed a LOT in the first 6months (up to 8 boobies a night, [yawn], and 2 hourly in the day) but since adding food she has mostly only had 4 feeds a day (upon waking / mid morning / mid afternoon / before bed) and this has now become 3.

I dont want to reduce it anymore just yet, unless she does it herself.

what a dilemma!

The range I've read of is 4 weeks to 42 months post partum for periods resuming. Mine returned at 22.5 months and I got pg on my second cycle (not sure whether we TTC'd on the first). DS was feeding lots still then.

Kellymom has some useful info if you search the site for 'fertility'. As Truth says, it varies lots from woman to woman.

I dithered a lot as to whether to reduce DS's feeds to get my periods back, but in retrospect I'm glad I didn't, because the age gap we'll have will work well for us, I think. It's a difficult decision though.