9 day old baby- Can I introduce a bottle for one feed? Feeding to sleep- HELP!

[samie10]

Hi, My gorgeous daughter is 9 days old and much to my surprise I have been able to BF and have enjoyed it. Before she was born I had it in my head that I wouldn't be able to do it - why - i don't know.
Whilst BF is going well I am experiencing some soreness and it feels painful, like her gums are digging in during the feed (latch issues?). I don't want to give up but I would like to introduce one bottle feed probably at night to let my husband have a go. How and when do I do this? Do i express or use a formula? Is it too early? Will i put the baby of BF?
She also won't sleep unless she is being fed at night which means I am tied to this feed, my husband would love to be able to do it. This is probably something I am doing wrong too isn't it? Letting her feed to sleep?
Im clueless and have had quite conflicting advice from the paediatrician and MW.
Can anyone give me any advice?

She's only wee! (congratulations!). No problem with feeding to sleep at this age!!

Agree with trazzle- she's feeding to sleep because that's a lovely way to go to sleep - she gets milk, comfort and gets to be close to her favourite person in the world. It won't always be like this, she'll find other ways to fall asleep as she gets older, but for now can you try and just go with it?

Have you been shown how to lie down and feed? That was one of the best ways I found to feed and doze at the same time. If you are going to co-sleep, you should be aware of the 'guidelines' for it. There's good info and a leaflet you can download here.

This is also a great article about comfort sucking - and the blog and facebook page is ace too.

TBH, it's not recommended that you introduce a bottle before 4-6 weeks. This is because you are getting your supply established and it will mess around with this. If you give formula, you are effectively lengthening the time period between feeds so you may get engorged or your body will think it needs to cut down on milk production.

If you are still seeing your mw, then ask about the latch as it sounds like it could need some tweaking. Or ask your HV, go along to a breastfeeding support group or ring one of the helplines.

Well done with the breast feeding so far. If its hurting then try to get to a breastfeeding support group so someone can check your latch - it can easily go from hurting to cracked nipples/excruciating pain etc - get it checked now before things get worse. I had a really bad time around the stage you are at and on the advice of the NCT helpline I expressed for some feeds (hand expressed) to give the sore breast time to recover (only did it for 12 hours but made a difference) Better to express than use formula as will keep stimulating your supply.
With sleeping - I worried a lot too and tried to do things the hard way (it felt ) dont feed to sleep, dont rock to sleep etc - Ive learnt not to worry! just be happy he has fallen asleep. There is plenty of time to sort things like that later -priority is that you and the baby are happy and content.
My baby is still only 6 weeks though so no doubt lots of other far more experienced people can give you more advice.

Out of interest, which ill-informed idiot well-meaning person told you it was 'wrong' to feed to sleep????

Thanks for all the advice! trazzle the links are really useful!
I need to get the latch issue sorted, she is getting milk for sure but it does hurt. My MW has shown me how to lay down and feed and that is the best way by far, having said that it still hurts - I've just rested my boob in the freezer! Maybe she is a little tongue-tied - will check with MW ASAP.

Potas when you expressed how many weeks was your baby? did you feed from a bottle?

I live in Dubai and we only get a short mat leave, I've been beating myself up about getting into a routine asap before i go back to work (end of Oct). I know its very early days and I am being ridiculous putting pressure on us all...ahhh!!

Tiktok - various people sharing their wisdom and from bits and pieces I have read online!! so it is ok to feed to sleep?

She is just so gorgeous, I don't want to put her down! We are co-sleeping and she won't settle unless she is next to me feeding her to sleep. She HATES the moses basket at night (fine during the day), we have tried a few times but just gave up because we were so tired. We have a co-sleep mattress which we put in our bed which has sides to prevent her rolling. I know we have to migrate her to her cot but we just can't..not yet!! I was worried that the feed to sleep will affect her migrating to the cot at a later stage....its all very early days isn't it..i should stop panicking shouldn't i? shouldn't i?!

samie - why would it not be ok to feed to sleep? It is normal for babies (who get so much more than 'just' milk from feeding) to fall asleep in comfort, warmth, reassurance, love and security. Why would it be wrong to fight against this - a tiny wee baby's powerful need for comfort, warmth etc etc etc ??

It is a MYTH that falling asleep when feeding starts 'bad habits'. The 'bad habits' are parental ones of trying to 'make' a needy little person suppress her needs for no good reason. As your daughter grows, she grows in confidence and trust that the world is a good place and she is loved. That is what will enable her to, in time, settle herself without feeding - and even without being next to you.

Your end of maternity leave is AGES away. No need to worry about what life will be like then. Your baby will be older and any routine she has then will be quite different from any routine she could possibly have at 9 days old!

Just enjoy her. Cuddle her. Co-sleep. Feed her to sleep. Revel in your growing love for each other. :)

What tiktok said. And yes, you should stop panicking

Hi
He was 10 days. I had a really sore nipple - cracked and swollen and was crying constantly. I really worried about using a bottle - but he had a really strong suckle reflex and was really good at feeding in general so the advice I got was that it was unlikely he was going to get confused or struggle - I gave him two feed from a bottle that day ( expressed milk) and found that he took it really well and went back to the breast in between very happily. Obviously you dont know till you try and I really worried it would cause problems but I was in so much pain I physically couldnt feed on that side. THe midwife did suggest just feeding from the good side and said there would be enough in one breast for him so you could try resting one side ( but expressing to maintain supply) for 12 hours or so then switching over to give each side a break - maybe the pain will settle down. I didnt manage to do this because he is a greedy little man and obviously wasnt getting enough that way so I just had to bite the bullet and start feeding directly again.
Hope you get it sorted

Thanks everyone, its a relief to read your positive and encouraging comments...i think i actually might be doing ok if I stop worrying for a second!!
Im off for a cuddle!XX

I wish MY baby was 9 days old. He's 10 weeks and woukd probably be accepted by the circus as the amazing milk-drinking baby and people will stare at him in disbelief for what he can put away.

Please enjoy those early weeks without the pressure to prove your mothering ability by demonstrating how much you can control your baby. Surely this is self-evident in her ability to control you! I.e your responding lovingly to her every need!

My baby was feeding to sleep for all naps , but just now st 9 months he is starting to feed then play then rather than feed again just sleep. I am rather sad he doesn't need me as much. It is def not a problem to feed to sleep. Co sleeping is not bad either

I agree with what others have said, you are doing a great job. So hard with your first though isn't it? So much advice and words of ' wisdom' out there which for the most part are quite unhelpful.
My advice would be follow your instincts and embrace being a mummy - sounds like you are anyway.
I actually gave one bottle a day from early on (about the same stage as you), I found ebf so difficult, my baby was feeding for over 1.5 hrs a time every 2.5 hrs and it was just too much. Everyone is different but it didn't cause any confusion (dd LOVES bf!) and I am still bf now 11 months on when most of my friends have given up due to feeling tied to feeding.
2 months is ages away btw, I found dd naturally settled into a type of routine when she was about 3 months anyway.
Enjoy your little girl, they are the best

Don't mean to hijack the thread, but....I get my knickers in a twist over feeding my 8 month DS to sleep sometimes. He can self settle, but sometimes he just needs me. Tiktok - reassure me?!

FEEDING TO SLEEP IS AN AMAZING TOOL-WHAT A LOVELY, GENTLE WAY TO FALL ASLEEP. USE IT!!!!

there- crime did that get my point across clearly???!!!x

Crimebusters....erm.....your baby is normal. Sometimes he needs you in some ways, sometimes he needs you in other ways; sometimes he can do something independently, sometimes he needs your help.

When he's a baby of 8 mths, he sometimes needs you to help him fall asleep.

When he is 18 mths he will sometimes need you to help him manage a cup.

When he is 5 he will sometimes need you to remember to take his reading book to school.

This stage - sometimes needing more help than at other times - lasts about 30 years, I think. In fact it probably lasts as long as parenting lasts.

:)

Thankyou feekery and tiktok - message received and understood

tiktok, that is a beautiful post, I think all new mums should be given this by a midwife

it will help me in my parenting path thats for sure

COngratulations, you are doing great, keepo going & a baby feeding to sleep is so normal & so lovely.
The only think i have to add is that if you want to replace a bf with a bottle then go for, there are no laws, just find waht works well for YOU & YOUR family. If having yoUR dh do one of the feeds is going to help you rest & help DH feel like he's helping then fine, go for it.
Whatever you do will be "normal" for your dd & will do her no harm.
The most important thing is that you are all happy & relaxed.

No advice, just remembering the yummy loveliness of having a 9 day old baby..mmmmmm.... well done you x

THANK YOU ALL!! I can't tell you how much it means to read all the posts! Im just going to get on with it, enjoy it and go with what feels right!! My baby seems so happy and that makes me happy so we most be ok!!
Crimebusters - you and i are NOT doing anything wrong!!

xxx