Tips for stopping breastfeeding 16 month old at bedtime

[loopy11]

Hi all,

I have decided it is time to stop breastfeeding my DS. I only feed at bedtime as I had to give up daytime feeds when I returned to work. I don't feed him to sleep but the feed is part of his bedtime routine.

He used to be a shocking sleeper - taking an age to settle to sleep and waking many times during the night. In the last couple of months he as finally sorted himself out and my main concern is that stopping his bedtime feed will disrupt his routine and we will return to sleep deprivation hell!

I'm looking for any advice or experiences that would help. Questions I'm thinking about are...

• Should I replace the breastfeed with a warm milk drink from a beaker?
• Should I get someone else to settle him for a few nights to break the habit?

-He always took a bottle well but he is too old for one now?

• What should I do if he starts rooting around or gets upset?

Thanks in advance and sorry if this has been has been done to death on other threads.

No advice sorry, but I'm watching with interest!
(I have exactly same scenario/problem, but with an 11 month old DD.)

Can I ask why you're stopping, out of curiosity? You've done fantastically well, its in no way a criticism :)

Think there are two separate issues to address here - bed time and stopping feeding. A lot of toddler feeding mums I know brought the bed time feed forward, to separate it from bed time, but don't know if that would be an option for you?

Personally when I stopped the bedtime feed (slightly different, as continued to feed in the day) around the same age, I explained to DS that there wasn't going to be any milk at bed time any more, but that we would have some extra special cuddles with a snuggly blanket whilst we read some stories, and that there would be some water if he wanted some.

I didn't let him get too upset, and was fully prepared to give in if he cried too much - simply because I didn't want something that he loves to become something that was distressing.

• you could offer him some cow's milk, but you should do this before you clean his teeth
• when weaning DS1 I followed the 'don't offer, don't refuse' rule i.e. you do what you can to distract him (I started singing him nursery rhymes after stories and before bed - in the slot when I would've fed him), but if he started pulling at my top and getting distressed I'd feed him. By not offering though he occasionally 'forgot' and as those occasions got more frequent I found I could gently distract him more easily. Depends how quickly you want to do it really. My DS was 21 months when I did it, so he was reasonably ready himself.

There is no main reason why I am stopping - I just feel it is the right time for us. He is a fantastic eater and takes cows milk well during the day. He hardly takes any milk at bedtime so I don't think he is getting a lot of nutrition from the feed. We have a very close bond which I feel we can now share in other ways - through cuddling, talking etc. I think I will definitely go with the softly, softly approach as I agree with you - I don't want a lovely experience to turn into an upsetting one. Thanks for the ideas x

Thanks juneau - I like the 'don't offer, don't refuse' idea x

Hi Loopy,
Not so long ago I basically faced the same problem! Although my DD wasn't drinking a huge amount of milk during the day but I felt that I was really to stop breastfeeding.

My strategy was:

1. I started cutting down the breastmilk - I started giving only one side for a couple of weeks..... then;
2. I stopped being there at bedtime - just for a week really and my DP gave her a bottle (I know I know should have been a beaker but the bottle worked for her and I thought the transition from breast to beaker would have been a step too far for my DD). This was surprisingly without problem. DD accepted that she couldn't get breastmilk from her daddy and took the bottle no probs.

oh yes and she started drinking a lot more milk during the day from her beaker after I stopped breastfeeding. My DD was 14 months

Thanks for the advice everyone. Going to go for it at the weekend. Wish me luck!