From breast to bottle

[Esme]

Tom is 11 months and I'm still breast feeding him but desperate to stop. I cannot get him to take a cup or bottle although I have been trying since he was four months old. I'm starting to feel desperate. He is demanding five feeds a day, one first thing, mid morning, mid afternoon, bedtime and about 11pm at night. I'm exhausted and would love to have a bit of me time. I would welcome any suggestions or tips

By way of an update - and some food for thought for Duck - I went back to work two weeks ago and all my worst fears were confirmed. Ellen will not feed from the nanny during the day - beaker, cup, bottle or whatever - and is thoroughly digging her heels in & v. uspet. Difficult for the nanny, especially as its a share, so she's got more than one baby to worry about. I'm still feeding her in the morning and when I get home (almost before I've shut the door), and she seems to be taking more at these sessions (one comfort, at least). Main plan is to get her to take more food, but she's reluctant to when she's so upset and won't be fed with a spoon - so we're appealing to her independence with finger foods. I'm sure things will get better, but v. slowly - my mum has moved in for a while to support the nanny. So please don't anyone tell my that either a)they will adapt once you go back to work or b)you shouldn't give a bottle in the first few weeks!! I know - all babies are different - and hindsight is a wonderful thing, but I know how I'll be managing baby number 2...

Esme - do you really think twice daily is a lot to breastfeed? Don't you think it would be easier on you just to carry on for just now. If it is making him unhappy then it is not worth the hassle of giving up. Yes he is doing it for comfort that is the whole point! We tend not to associate b/feeding with comfort in our society but it is an essential part of it. We wouldn't deny our child a cuddle would we? It is the same thing to them. Try to take the weaning process more slowly and remember you are doing him good both in a nutritional and an emotional sense and he will slow down in time. Sometimes babies do feed more often for a period because they feel insecure or are teething. Most babies who go on to about a year may take a good few months yet to drop the last couple of feeds but surely just a few minutes at the breast is no bother to you and it keeps the peace.

Esme, even given my current difficulties I'm hoping to keep breastfeeding for another 6 months or so - and I'm inclined to agree with Eulalia re: the comfort feeds because:
a) the benefits / closeness for mother and baby and
b) my mum's immortal words of wisdom - "don't worry about it - most problems die of old age anyway!"

It was great to get your message Eulalia and no I don't think two breast feeds a day is a chore. It's actually far easier to breast feed him than to battle with his screaming. I suppose the pressure to wean him 100% comes from other people and my partner who think that my son is too old to be breastfed. I have actually had some very negative comments about the fact that I'm still breastfeeding so it was refreshing to get your message and yes maybe I should just relax about the weaning process and go with the flow. Do you think that my son will eventually wean himself? I'm not sure that I want to breastfeed him until he's two and it does worry me that as long as I offer him the breast he will always want it. My doctor actually suggested that I just stop feeding him myself and simply ride out his screaming. What do people think about the research published about the link between increased heart disease and extended breast feeding.

Jennys - I totally agree with you about next time around and the early introduction of a bottle. I too was told (by the NCT) not to introduce a bottle as it may hamper breast feeding. However friends of mine who did nor heed this advice happily breastfed and gave the odd bottle for the sake of a bit of independence. They now have babies who happily drink from a cup! Good luck I'm sure your baby will take a cup/bottle eventually. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!

Esme - I have talked at length about extended breastfeeding on this board under the 'Breastfeeding Difficulites" and "Extended Breastfeeding" topics if you want to find them. I firmly believe in it. Our society doesn't on the whole and it is usually rooted in a belief that older babies don't need it. However the older baby/toddler still benefits from the nutritional and immunological benefits not to mention the mother-child interaction. It can be a great way of getting through the tantrum stages from 18 months onwards. I won't repeat myself here but have a look at the comments and articles posted on these other topics.

Yes your son will wean himself but it may not be till he is between 2-3. I think it is just a case of a paradigm shift in the thinking of the other people you mention. We tend to think it is just for babes in arms but if you want to do it and you still enjoy it then don't listen to anyone else. Doctors in particular for some reason seem to be against it - they don't get a lot of training in this aspect so don't know much about it. Babies are only babies for such a short time, make the most of it! I am still b/feeding (a lot!) at 21 months and it's just become a way of life now. I don't really think about when I'll stop. He doesn't do it when we are out so nobody else even needs to know.

Thank god! It's such a comfort to know that there are other mums out there with the same problem....my daughter is nearly 5 months old and has solely breastfed since birth and will not drink from a bottle. I, too, took the advice that I shouldn't introduce a bottle until after 6 weeks old - well, I'm not doing that if I have baby no.2!! We started introducing the bottle (with expressed milk) from 6 weeks old and she screamed blue murder every time my hubby tried. I've been trying for the past week or so, every day, with a bottle and teat but with formula milk but instead of sucking on it she chews on it and after about 5 minutes she won't have it anymore. I've tried the Heinz soft spout beaker but the flow seems to be too fast for her.
I dream of going out for an evening with my hubby for more than 2 hours!! We've left her twice of an evening with grandparents but she just screams until I return home.
She's also started on solids (with no probs) but have read that she also needs to take cooled boiled water - but how can she if she won't take anything other than breast (or spoon)? Also, I wish to stop breastfeeding in a months time (6 months) - I want my body back!! :-)

So long as you allow your baby to feed whenever she wishes there is no need to give her boiled water. She will get enough liquid from your milk.

You could try offering her a feed from a cup, something small, such as the cover from a feeding bottle or an egg cup. There is even something called a 'Doidy cup' which is sometimes advertised in baby magazines, made by the makers of Bikkie pegs. It's a slanting cup, so the liquid reaches the mouth more easily.

Has anybody had this? My sister's 8wk old has been offered a bottle (of EBM) since birth - took it fine up until two weeks ago when she has refused it every time. Last time they tried was at 6am in the morning when they thought she must be hungry - but she just rolled the teat around, refused to suck and eventually after an hour and a half went to sleep without being fed. Is this irreversible or should she keep trying?

Hi florenceuk, my (brief) experience of bottles went much the same way. Dd had EBM from birth in a bottle about every other day or so until about 9 weeks then stopped sucking too. I wasn't too bothered as it was more for my convience than work related but I still expressed a few times a weeks. My mum sugested a beaker with a tiny spout and I never looked back! She got her comfort from feeds with me, but would happily drink my milk from a beaker. This solved any bottle dependency probs in the future too and has always been happy with a beaker for all her drinks. If you suggest this to your sis then I'd try the heinz baby basics first beaker (it says from 3 months on the packaging but I promise its fine.) At first I kind of 'dripped' it into her mouth slowly until she got the hang of the spout then we were away! Also I found it helped if someone else did the feeding from a cup rather than myself cos she wasn't stupid and knew there were lovely boobs under my jumper! Give it a try...

I stopped breasfeeding my son at 14 months which was over 5 months ago but still seem to have some milk in there..
Is this typical? I can't help thinking that my boobs are going to stay this way until I'm pregnant again and was hoping to go a few months totaly dry before that.

Yes it odes happen... does it bother you ? are they leaking ?

I stopped breastfeeding a year or so ago, squeezed the other day (like you do) and a drop came out!

A friend of mine did this ages ago and a whole stream came out, and it was 2 years since she'd breast-fed! Her GP said it was surprisingly common, and that maybe she was harbourng secret desires for another baby. She is now pg so maybe he was right. Maybe that's why you haven't totally dried up yet.

thanks titchy,
There may be something in what the doc said cause I do want to go for no 2 soon.
I get the stream effect. I just thaught (presumed) that it stopped soon after you "close the milk bar". nice to know it is common.

Emily is 10 weeks old and she is refusing to have a bottle of EBM or formula. She took it at 6-8 weeks but just crys now and doesnt even try to suck. I have read on the site about the Heinz beaker but how do I get her to feed from it?