Moving to the bottle, will tough love work?

[Chelly71]

Hi, for various reasons I'm ready to move from ebf my 4.5 month old dd. It had been emotionally difficult decision but I'm exhausted, she isn't gaining weight, cries, feeds a lot and very unsettled at night. The same happened with my ds at this time and switching made him and me a lot happier so I'm praying for the same result here. However, dd won't take the bottle. I've tried all the tricks advised and I'm now sticking to one bottle/nipple type, warmed milk, in her bouncy chair, not too hungry, happy smiley positive vibes.

I want to try and crack it in a day seeing as I'm making no progress. Tried this the other day by not bf all day and just offering the bottle. She took about 2oz of ebm at 3.30pm, 2oz of formula at 6pm and then I cracked and bf her. I was then up all night feeding her as she was so hungry. The next day wouldn't entertain the bottle at all. However, I want to try again and my dh has offered to do it whilst I go out for the day with ds.

My question is, anyone done this and been successful? Don't think I can go through it all again for it not to work..... I know it seems a harsh approach but please don't flame me! I'm at my wits end and believe in happy mummy happy baby.

Any advice?

I know of someone who did this and baby basically took bottle after about 10 hours of being with a relative. So basically the baby was starving. I am told it was very traumatic and there were serious concerns about dehydration. Sorry but absolutely wouldn't be for me. No offence but there has to be another option?

Can you not manage another month and a half? Then you can start to wean her. I have same problem - will not take a bottle. Gets v. Distressed and pushes it away. She will drink water from a beaker though she's now 5.5 months and wer're going to slowly start weaning soon. Not sure what to do about giving drinks though. I need to find a solution!

If you can't keep ebf, thn surely switching one feed at a time is better than cold turkey? It's a huge change for a baby especially if never taken a bottle before.

You sound in exactly the same position as us chelly71 - we're contemplating the 'cold turkey' method on Sunday or Monday, but as DD was premature and is still v tiny (although now catching up) I'm even more nervous about her missing feeds...

We've tried absolutely every technique/teat to try and re-introduce a bottle - she took one fine for first few weeks, but as I was so stubborn to BF and we got a bit lax about giving her a bottle every day, she started refusing the bottle :(

She's now almost 6months old (15 weeks corrected) and I'm getting exhausted with continued 3 hrly feeds (even through the night). I just want a break! And for her to have a bit of formula for even more weight gain...!

I'll let you know if we go ahead, and how it goes! Good luck to you :)

Appreciate the replies and concerns, I've had them all myself and I am racked with doubt. Good luck sari, my first attempt wasn't actually that traumatic I was surprised, it just didn't work. I would make sure water was given next time so dehydration doesn't creep in.

Have you had good breastfeeding support? From a breeding councillor not just your hpc.

They can also help you with this difficult transition if formula is what is needed.

Also another option at this age is to try cups rather then a bottle. Op this goes even more so for you as your baby is almost size months

I had same problem. Dd now 7 months and still refusing bottle. I weaned her at 5 months and she now takes hipp follow
On milk from a baby cup on the days I am at work.

Will they take a lot of milk from a cup at 6 months? I just thought that I still needed a bottle as they take a lot of milk even at 6 months. And to be clear, I wouldn't switch straight to ff, I would drop feeds slowly but use the cold turkey for bottle acceptance only not bm to ff in one go. If I pluck up the courage to try again I'll let you know how it goes. Good luck sari and please report back.
Migril, I have had good support but I emotionally feel the time is right as well as practically. I'm shattered with 2 hourly wakes all night and a baby that isn't content.

Thanks for all your thoughts and advice.

my baby is the same age, and i have the same problem. We too have tried every variation i can imagine in terms of the bottle. On the advice of my HV, I left him with my husband and went out. 12 hours later he hadnt had a drop (and i had left expressed milk). It was very distressing. Ive basically had to accept it, as much as i am desperate to stop bfing. I am missing my best friend's 30th birthday celebrations a we speak, and look set to miss a wedding and my sister in law to be's hen party.

I plan to wait till i start weaning him and try again. I am trtying to give him a few teaspoons of formula everyday so he can get used to the taste.

I deeply sympathise about the night waking; it is very depressing to hear about babies many weeks younger than your own sleeping right through!

I will watch this thread with interest!

Hi fellow bottle-battlers

I have been struggling getting my 3.5 month old to take a bottle and only now am I feeling like we're getting somewhere. It has taken me two weeks of trying various strategies every day. It has been a PITA, and it has stressed me out at times. This is what I did:

1. I tried giving a bottle of formula which she plainly refused. She had taken a bottle before but it had been a while.
2. I expressed milk and tried giving it to her. She didn't want to know
3. I expressed milk every day and tried different teats to see if one was better. I would stop expressing after about 20 mls because it was depressing throwing it all away when she wouldn't take it and it had been reheated. I was also buggered if I was going to spend ££s on new bottles/teats to see if that helped. (having said that Dr. Nars? was recommended, as was tommy tippee? I didn't try either, I just wanted to wait and see what happened with my philips avent).
4. After a week she would chew rather than suck the teat. I tried these (even though it says 6+ months old). I figured she made more of a flat shape with my boob when she fed, maybe this was more natural to her (clearly I have no clue). Anyway, finally she realised she needed to suck.
5. She started to suck regular teats and took 1oz
6. She started to take more expressed breast milk (4oz)
7. I mixed formula with breast milk (30/70%) and today reduced the ratio to 50/50. She ate it all no problem

Tomorrow I'm going to give her a 100% formula bottle and officially drop a feed.
She takes the bottle from me (when she is in her bouncer), DH and her gran.
It has been better for her to "practise" the bottle when she isn't starving. I gradually moved "bottle time" from the middle of the feed to the beginning.

I wasn't keen on the tough love approach, I didn't want this to be a battle. I just believed that she would take it if I just kept chipping away and made sure that everyday we would practise the bottle at some point.

As I say, this has been a PITA, but I'm glad there's some light at the end of this tedious tunnel. Good luck, and I hope some of this can help in some way.

Bugger, just read that you want to try and do this in a day.

Yeah, my experience won't help you there. Sorry 'bout that

Have you worked out why she's unsettled? Could it be reflux? Just wondering because the risk of switching to formula is that it doesn't help. Or it gets better anyway and you didn't need to stop bf. It does get easier from 6 months (my two were nightmares to feed and formula didn't help as they were intolerant to it).

It's really reassuring to hear a success story bodeccia and it gives me hope!

The more we thought about the 'cold turkey' method, the less i have wanted to do it.... I'm just not sure it's going to work, knowing what a state she gets herself in.. :(

I will probably make a big effort this week with the techniques you have tried bodeccia.

Sorry chelly71 not to be able to help!

Iggy has a good point switching to bottles and formula won't guarantee you get more sleep.

Have you considered try to cut dairy out of your diet?

Please don't. Not only will it be traumatic for you both, in this hot weather its a serious dehydration risk, and you chance mastitis as well.

Firstly with weight gain - breastmilk is actually higher in fat content than formula. So switching won't nessicarily equal weight gain.

Have you had your latch checked? I know you're saying you want to stop - but in reality this will not be an overnight thing. So in the meantime get yourself to a breastfeeding group. They will also be able to offer you some in person advice as to stopping.

There is no guaranteeing that switching to bottles with mean better sleep. My brother (FF from birth) took two oz every two hours until eight months old.

There is also a growth sprut / sleep regression around now, so that will be making her slightly more unsettled.

Chestnut why are you saying you have to miss all those things? Just take little one with you! :)

My 10 week old won't take a bottle and it's driving me mad. Am back to work in a month so want to start slowly weaning and am also not loving breastfeeding so really want her to switch. She'll mess with the test and take maybe 10mls but that's it. I was expressing but it makes no difference. I've a friend who went through the same and said perserverence worked for them so just going to keep offering and pray!

Thanks all, I think I need to be more persistent and consistent as bod was, great summary btw so thank you. I know ff isnt the silver bullet but I'm going on what happened with my ds, I know it may be different here, and switching did make a much happier mum and baby! I've bought some nuk teats and a first cup so will try and report back after a few days and i will try daily to see if we get somewhere, at least I know she can suck and take the milk as she has done it already.

Thanks for all taking the time to reply x

DD2 fell off the graph completely. Never took a bottle. Screamed as if you were trying to kill her if you tried. No better for the consultant or his senior nurse.

In the end she was just weaned at 5 months straight on to yoghurt and fromage frais which she loved.

And yes clever readers this is the same DD2 who still BF at junior school.

Sorry OP not what you want to hear, but some DCs are extra ordinarily stubborn.
(DD1 was just as clear that she hated BFing and much preferred bottles. You really can't win).

Iggly - i can't take my baby clubbing in chester (b'friends bday), to an over 18's spa (hen party) and a no children black tie wedding, more's the pity!

I had to leave DS2 with DH on Sat from 9am until about 1pm to have a much needed hair cut and colour. DS2 has been refusing bottles of expressed milk at his midnight feed fir about a week when he has been happily taking them.

He refused a bottle when he woke at 9ish after me having fed him about 6.30am. DH kept trying but no - fell asleep again in DH's arms after having a strop. I rushed home with wet hair and found him still asleep. I woke him and DH just wanted to show me his reaction to bottle because I asked if he even got as far as sucking. DS2 then chugged down a 5oz bottle in front of me. It made me wonder how hungry he really is a lot of the time - especially at night.

I've been trying for weeks to get my three month old to take a bottle, just for an occasional feed of EBM so I can get a little bit of a life back or hand over a feed to DH so I can get some extra sleep. I'm still not winning, but in case it works for you, Breastflow bottles seem to be preferred by my DS over Dr Brown's, Mam or Tommee Tippee. Dream feeding has also had marginal effectiveness for me - stick the bottle in your DD's gob while she's sleeping and she may well down the lot. There may be some carry-over once she's awake and she'll take the bottle more happily after that (this only worked once in my case - talk about elation followed by despair!) Other tips which seemed like a great idea, but didn't work for me, was to try nipple shields as a transition - my DS was NOT fooled and wouldn't go near them - or try a dummy if she's not already taking one. Mine prised his out with his thumb on first attempt, then spat it almost across the room on the second. If your LO is anything like mine, I can't see cold turkey working - the hungrier he is the less and less likely he is to play ball.