Hi,
This could be long, but I'll try and keep it succinct....
I'm 23 weeks pg with DC2. I bf DC1(DD) and it was just about the hardest thing I ever did. Without fantastic support from DH, my HV and our local infant feeding advisor I would have given up, but eventually bf for 11 months.
My main problem was/is that I have very small nipples that are almost flat (I didn't realise this until I came to try bfeeding-had never seen that many other nipples before!). Getting DD latched on was a major operation and it was impossible to do it discreetly. Therefore due to my embarrassment, I found it impossible to feed her in front of anyone other than DH. I never once fed her in front of anyone else.
She was 4 weeks early and we were in SCBU for a week while we established bfeeding. I was given those nipple shields to help as there was hardly anything for her to get hold of, but was warned not to use them for too long as they would affect my supply. I was feeding her myself, then expressing some to top her up with (through a nose tube).
We did well for about 6 weeks, then she stopped putting weight on. I think over the next six weeks or so she put about 7oz on. This coincided with her getting very colicky, I think due to her not being latched on properly and taking in lots of air. I was absolutely beside myself, convinced I was failing her, that there was something seriously wrong with her and that she was going to die. Looking back now, I probably had pnd after a traumatic pregnancy and horriffic birth, but at the time It was awful. My HV kept telling me that though she was underweight, she was fine but I didn't believe her.
Eventually. I went to see the infant feeding advisor and she told me to get rid of the nipple shields as she thought DD was starving hungry because I wasn't producing enough milk and helped me get her latched on better. Things slowly improved from there and from about four months I actually began to enjoy it, although I still couldn't feed in front of anyone else.
Everything we did had to be timed round her feeds, so that I could be somewhere private when the time came. I became very adept at feeding in the back of the car and the like. If we were somewhere that private feeding would be impossible (at a christening for example) DD had a bottle of formula and I felt no guilt about this at all.
I never felt like I had enough milk for her and only ever felt 'full' if I had missed a feed ( for eg if she'd had a bottle). She loved formula and seemed to thrive on it (probably because she didn't have to work so hard for it).
So, that's basically my history, now on to the present....
I really want to bf DC2, but I am dreading the same problems again. With DD1 I had time to sit and feed her all day if necessary (and often did) but I simply won't be able to do that this time. DD1 has school and classes etc. I know for a fact that I will need to feed in private again and don't know how I'll be able to do this. I might get flamed for this but I actually think bfeeding benefitted me more than DD1. After the pregnancy and birth I'd had, it was a wonderful bonding experience but I think DD actually did better on formula. It breaks my heart when I think back to how much pain she used to be in with colic and hunger....
I feel that if I don't bf DC2 I will be letting them down and be judged for ff, but part of me doesn't even want to try. I cannot face the feeling of failure I felt with DD1 before we 'got things right'.
So, what I'm asking is, does anyone have any practical tips that might help someone with my particular problem (small, flat nipples)? Are there any products on the market that might help me? DD1 is almost 6 now, so there might be something new out there?
Sorry this is so long.
Thanks in advance....