20 week old feeding *all* night

[stoooooopidpigeon]

I am beginning to feel that all the bastard people who told me I was making a rod for my own back were right :( Ds is 20 weeks old and I co sleep to make feeding him easier. Generally he wakes 3 or 4 times a night still for a dream feed of about 5 or ten minutes, which is fine. But the last 2 nights I have been awake all night because as soon as I try and latch him off he wails and roots until I let him suckle again. I'm now convinced I'm not making enough milk for him and the exhaustion isn't helping me be rational. I know in my rational brain that he's thriving, he's a chubby ball of dough :) but why won't he just leave me alone so I can get an hours kip?? I don't have a dp on the scene who can take him and I have another child who wakes at 6 who I then have to be cheery for. Is this a growth spurt? Is he just using me as a dummy? Have never been keen on using a dummy but tbh I can see myself getting desperate if this carries on another night. He is a very happy baby, he went through a stage of only pooing every ten days or so but in the last few weeks it's far more regular, so maybe teething? Any ideas? He's crying again for a feed but I can feel my boobs are empty :( Can I up my supply any other way than just letting him feed?

Dashing, so this is quick :)

Your breasts may feel empty - so what? There is milk there, and the frequent feeding means you are making milk v. quickly - there will always be milk there for him (this is how it works). Just feed him if he seems to be upset.

Babies need bf for many reasons - not just hunger and thirst. Responding to these needs is normal and good for their emotional and psychological development.

Yes, you need a break and support - hope others will post about that, too.

But your bf sounds fine, your baby sounds fine. This isn't a bf problem as such.

Noo, they were not right! You have not made a rod for your own back at all. :) Your DS sounds very normal- could be a growth spurt, teething, 4 month sleep regression, the start of an illness... It's bloody tough when they feed all night long but it won't last. You haven't run out of milk- this pretty much never happens. Your breasts are not empty, they are always making milk. Hang in there! Things will get better.

Your other DC that wakes at 6, will he/she come into your bed for a bit and play with something so that you can doze?

Growth or development spurt would be my guess.

But you will be making enough milk otherwise he wouldn't be a chubby ball of dough. My lo is also 20 weeks nd we've just come out of gone of these phases and he goes a keeps for 8 hours in one go!

It will pass, I'm sure and no way are you making a rod for your own back - can you imagine what it wold be like if you actually had to get up to feed him? Remember current guidelines are to keep him in your own room until 6 months so, he's going to be in your own room, you're going to be waking so why not have him in the bed with you!

I'm in awe of you looking after your lo, plus another all on your own - this feeding frenzy will pass!

My DS did exactly this, to the point that I gave up BFing there and then. In hindsight I seriously wish I hadn't given up but I was so exhausted I couldn't see any other way. It seemed to me at the time that he was doing it purely for his own reassurance and comfort. He most definitely wasn't suckling after about 30mins on the boob, but would scream blue murder if I took it away from him
My advice would be to slog it out and hope that it's a growth spurt or even just a phase. I really regret caving in like I did
However he is now a perfect, thriving toddler so it obviously did him no harm

Thank you all. Mrsmorgy, I fed ds1 til almost 3 so I know I most probably went throgh similar with him, I just can't remember. It is making me want to stop but that has it's own problems as I've had to adapt my diet as ds2 seems to have multiple intolerances, not least of which is cows milk protein, so actually getting a formula that wouldn't upset him would be hard. I don't know. He's just had a feed and there's definately milk there but now he's wailing so maybe he's not well, or is just exhausted as well. I am finding it more diffiicult to cope than normal. I saw my HV about 6 weeks ago to say I wasn;t coping very well, my 'd'p walked out completely unexpectedly when the baby was 2 months old and has pretty much behaved like an arse ever since, and she told me she'd check in on me every week. That was the last I've heard so I have no desire to speak to her when she can forget about me when I was clearly a bit of a mess. I'm nowhere near as bad now but just the 2 days of no sleep whatsoever has made me feel down I think.

Your HV sounds like a waste of space, is there anywhere else you can get some support? Is there a surestart centre, parent and baby group, LLL, any other kind of group where you can go along, eat cake and have a good moan?

You're doing bloody well coping with all this on your own. Sounds like you could use a break though.

Sending hugs my 23 week is the same only difference is shes been like this day one! Longest she's ever slept is 5 hours and she's only done that a handful of times!! I have a 2 year old who is up at 6 raring to go! My DH works 12 hour days and baby won't entertain even being held by any one else!! I considered switching to bottles but she won't take one at all! I'm just hoping that when we start weaning at 26 weeks things improve a little!!

Law, the few times we tried it ds would not take a bottle at all. I haven't persevered with it as tbh I don't have the time to express and I've not had to leave him with anyone anyway. I think he'll probably go straight to a cup when the time comes.
I can tentatively say that he seems a smidge better today. He's had 3 long naps so I do think he'd tired himself out, but when he woke from his last one he started to wail as if he really was in pain. I think teeth are the culprit. He's been in bed for about 3 hours now, has stirred once or twice but gone back to sleep with no feeding so I am hoping against hope that he actually sleeps tonight so I can get some shuteye too. I think I need to let my standards drop a bit too. I should be in bed but I cannot leave rooms untidied or dishes unwashed. I think I need to heed the standard 'newborn' advice of letting that stuff go in favour of sleep.

pidgeon I have also given up on the bottle it was stressing us all out! I was desperately trying as we had a wedding last week my mum was certain that she could get DD to take a bottle as she has once before from my mum but nope I was home within the hour! So now ice just cancelled the two plans I had in the next few months and took the pressure off! I've bought a tt explora cup which I've been letting her play with so fingers crossed!! I'm the same whenever she does sleep I tidy or watch tele as I feel like I get no me time at all! At least where not alone!!

We're not where good job I've got 5 mo left of mat leave no brain....