Ready to give up bf, but can't

[vvviola]

DD2 is nearly 1, EBF. Bf has been really easy for us both and she's thriving. But...
... She just will not take a bottle (or even more than a couple of mouthfuls from a cup. She goes to daycare 3 days a week and won't take anything there either. She just waits for me to collect her and then feeds for an hour solid.
... She has an allergy to dairy so I can't wean her on to cows milk & she refuses soy formula. And as far as I know there's nothing else I can use (and it means I have to stay off dairy too(
... She wakes every 2 hours overnight & most times only a bf will settle her.
... We have an appointment with the allergy clinic in a month or so, so I kind of feel we need to stick to the status quo until then.

But I'm tired and bruised (some feeds are like wrestling!) and while bf has worked really well for us, I'm really getting to the stage where I'd like to be finished. But I just can't see how it could happen :(

I'll probably be a lot more positive in a couple of days but right now I'm just feeling a bit sorry for myself.

bump! i am in exactly the same boat! bottle refusing DD who is 7.5 mo. she also has an allergy to cows milk (we think).

what on earth can we do? i have no idea. i am loath to keep trying with bottles as she was doing really well with her cups until we started trying to give her a bottle again and now she pushes her cups away too :( i don't know what to do for best. she feeds to sleep every night meaning i can't go out and i am starting to get serious cabin fever. any advice hugely appreciated!

Sorry I'm another one with no advice but with noa bottle refusing 11mo DS who has to start nursery full time next month I need the same help. I want to stop bf now too but he feeds to sleep for naps and bed. I'm hoping someone has some good advice here for all of us.

No is a btw. My phone has some interesting ideas of what I should say sometimes.

I don't know if this will help, but I had the same problem with DS1 at 6-7 months. The HV thought it was funny how stubborn he was so I took him to the Dr who was brilliant. He suggested that I refused to BF at night as they have such a strong survival instinct to get him out of wanting more milk in the night than in the day. I found it a really hard decision to make, but felt that I couldn't BF for ever and was getting ready to go back to work. After the first night of refusing to feed him and just comforting him, he refused to be BF at all, within a couple of days (the bit in between was really worrying as he wouldn't drink anything) he was drinking water from a sippy cup and downing 6oz of formula! Don't forget they also gain lots of liquid from fruit and vegetables.

Good luck x

DD stopped BFing when she was 15 months, so a little older than yours, but she has never accepted any other sort of milk as a drink - since she stopped BFing, she has only ever had water to drink. She gets all the calcium etc from other sources and has a little cows milk to soak her cereal, but it's not been a problem that she won't drink milk.

I havent really got any brilliant advice just my own experience. I didnt think I could co! pe trying to stop breast feeding so I just wittled it down to at night. I breast fed my son till he was 3! He only used to have it at night just before he went to bed, never during the day. He would never drink anything out of a bottle so I bought a tippy cup that he had to suck to get the drink out and it worked really well for during the day. He didnt drink milk though, just water. I used to make sure he had a milky breakfast and plenty of baby yoghurts after his meals. I dont know if I did the right thing but he is now 19 and healthy as anything!

What ever you do it will be the best thing for you and your baby. Good luck.

Maples - I can express no problem. She just won't take it. She goes from 9 til 4 on crèche days without a feed. Drinks a bit of water with meals. But she just waits til I'm around to feed.

Her sister loved her bottles but wasn't (and still isn't) keen on milk from a cup. Once we got rid of bottles she stopped drinking milk completely but eats loads of cheese/yoghurts. With DD2's allergies I'm not able to do that, so if she won't take formula I just have to keep breastfeeding.

It's good to know I'm not alone though

Is there any chance you could night wean first?

I'm just doing it with my dd (I have a thread with updated progress here ). I'm following a Dr Jay Gordon's night weaning method which isn't about leaving them to cry, and I honestly was dreading it but so far, it's going very well.

Not only is DD sleeping better, but she is a lot more settled, happier and she has increased her food intake during the day too.

She too is a bottle refuser and won't drink milk out of a cup or sippy cup (my milk or cows), so my thoughts are making sure she has a varied diet so that there isn't a need for her to have milk so I'm not going to keep trying to give her cows milk.

She does still bf during the day but we now have got no feeds in the night from 10.30 till 7.30am (albeit she waking but only once last night...)

Just a thought if feeding in general is grating on you, perhaps this is a half way house?

GodisaDJ , yes, you know night weaning night help - although with wake ups every 90 minutes, it seems like an impossible task!

vviola my DD was too until 4 nights ago. My night was going something like: 7pm, 9pm, 11.30pm, 1am, 2am, 3am, 5.30am and up grumpy at 7am.

Honestly, I can't believe the quick results and how "kind" the method has been on DD and me. Obviously she cries and is frustrated. But I've comforted her in any other way I can other than feeding.

Have a read of this: drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html to see if it's for you.

no advice on the bottle refusal, bit on the allergy front, I found my little one had cow'a milk protein intolerance and I got Cow and Gate Pepti formula on prescription which he was fine with. maybe worth asking your GP, obviously depends on what ur LO is allergic to CMP or lactose. hope this helps

GodisaDJ thanks I will have a look at that. I've an assignment due in tomorrow and a few more to get started on, but I have a 2 week break from Uni from next week and DD is still booked into crèche, so it seems like a good time to try it, when I can catch up during the day.

jandmmum thanks. She allergic to the whole protein not just the lactose, so we're stuck with soy. Not that it makes much of a difference, she'll even refuse breastmilk from a bottle/cup & I know she likes that

Not so much a help with stopping bf (still doing it for my dd at 3), but instead of trying to get soya milk into her (she hated it and the formula, can't blame her), try alpro soya yogurts and maybe their chocolate soya milk if you don't mind her having it. Our dietician is fine for my dd to have it, not concerned about the sugar.

Lots of other ways to get calcium into them :-)

My dd was also waking a LOT for night time feeds. Sounds about the same frequency as yours at 1. Is there any snuffling/blocked nose at night? My daughter always woke rubbing her nose and needed to feed to help clear it (and to get back to sleep in general). Turns out she also has hayfever and a dustmite allergy. Once we knew about those, we're able to take steps to help limit the effects of those (lots of damp dusting etc and piriton before bed).

Obviously you'll need to have those checked out/want a dr rec for using piriton. We found it made a difference to her sleep (2 hours extended the 4 immediately, and then to 6h. Last night she finally "slept through" at just 3).

Hang in there! And see what the specialists can recommend too.