Breastfeeding Councellors Experience/knowledge with older baby/toddlers

[JeewizzJen]

DS is 14mo and I recently went along to a local bf group to get some RL help as his latch seems to have changed (presumably due to teeth) and I've got a very sore nipple where his teeth are rubbing. I was hoping that the BFC would watch him latch on and give some practical advice about improving it.

Naturally, the group was full of very young babies, and DS was the oldest there by a long way. I saw the BFC right towards the end of the group time (not a problem at all, I was a bit late and there was obviously a 'queue'!). I told her what my problem was, but although she was very nice, she didn't seem to be interested in looking at DS feed, and instead made some pretty general suggestions.

I suppose it could have been because the group was nearly over, and she needed to go, but I felt a little bit dismissed by her. I did wonder whether perhaps she didn't have much experience or knowledge with older babies and I was wondering whether the training for BFC includes much in the way of extended feeding and any issues that might occur? I don't know whether it's worth trying to go and see a different councellor at a different group or whether I'm likely to find the same thing? Was I just a bit unlucky?

Hello :) Sorry you felt a bit brushed off. What exactly did she tell you? If his latch has changed due to teeth then there are no quick fixes unfortunately. Sometimes you have to try a few different things out because different things work for different people.

Couldn't say about the training she had, it would depend on who she trained with but I would guess that all the major voluntary orgs cover extended BF.

There are lots of people on MN that are BF older babies and toddlers so you'll find loads of support here. Maybe you could ask at the BF group if there are any other mums nearby BF older babies?

Hi EauRouge, thanks for your reply :)

You're right, I should probably ask for advice on this board! I just felt a little bit like I needed some RL help. I will post another thread today though.

The BFC I saw really just talked around about going "back to basics" with the latch - which is fine except I don't really know what that entails from a practical perspective; I've been very lucky in that DS seemed to just know what to do most of the time when he was little!

It's soooo sore, excruciating to feed on that side - for some reason it only really seems to be affecting one side. He's actually cut through my skin at the part my nipple meets my areola! Ouch!!

Maybe she just didn't explain very well, but I think I know what she means. When newborns are having trouble latching on then one of the tricks you can try is biological nurturing. You can try something similar with your DS- plenty of skin-to-skin contact (maybe a bath together) and trying not to rush things might help. Also encouraging your DS to take a nice big mouthful of breast might help to make things more comfortable. It might take a few goes. A lot of mums find unlatching a toddler gently using your little finger and saying 'big mouth' or something similar will do the trick after a day or so.

Can you contact the BFC by phone or email? Maybe if you let her know that she needs to explain what she means then you'll get some more helpful ideas from her.

Mine occasionally gets lazy and seems to let my nipple slip out a bit more than he should. Doing as EauRouge and making him pay a bit more attention to latching on seems to do the trick - If he's not got a good mouthful I push my finger in until he detaches and get him to go again (along with only letting him feed from the grazed side every other feed in an attempt to give it a chance to heal)

DS enjoys the whole 'mum, you lie there and I'll clamber all over you feeding' reclined biological nursing thing, but I definitely find that he's more likely to forget he has a nipple in his mouth and try to get up/turn head and give it a good wrench than when we both lie on our sides so I avoid it if I'm sore.

I think most of the problems BFCs deal with are in the early months. Normally by six months or so, most people either have things working well, or have stopped.

And fixing latch in a larger child is tricky, because at that age, they're doing what they're doing.

Is it the upper teeth? They really can dig into the nipple. I would aim to ensure his head is tilted back as much as you can while feeding, that might reduce the damage to your nipple. So, even while he's on, if you shift him slightly in the direction of his feet (like a few mms), that might help tilt his head back a bit, and get his teeth off your nipple.

Also: has anyone talked to you about wet wound healing, to help your nipple heal between feeds? Essentially, you want to keep it moist all the time, so using your milk, or some lanolin-based cream, you make sure it's v greasy, and then cover it with either special wet wound healing dressing (talk to your pharmacist) or clingfilm and skin tape.

I think notquite's hit the nail on the head - we do ted to deal with early problems and by 6mo or so they've either sorted it or weaned off. I bfed dd til 18mo and although toothless til 13mo I did have a lot of tugs and unintentional bites in the last few months. Definitely speak sharply if he bites you on purpose (I know that's not the issue tho) and do make sure he's got a good big mouthful. If he starts noseying round and not concentrating then don't be afraid to take him off and start again. I remember dd getting lazy and not opening her mouth wide enough, I used to remind her
Good luck ad keep doing it as long as you both want to

Thanks for the replies all. I think the wet healing sounds like a good idea - I've been using Lansinoh and I'll get some of the dressings tomorrow. I really need it to heal before I can really work hard on the latch I think, as taking him on/off sends me up to the ceiling in pain! I have had some success tonight by turning him the other way so his top teeth are on the other side of my nipple (although still rubbing, just not the sore spot) but that's not going to help much overnight. I'm probably going to have to avoid using that side during the night as I can't deal with it! (this is likely to be a big kick for night weaning which I've been thinking of doing for some time - he's still waking 3-7 times a night). My worry for tonight is that that side is hurting deep inside, just like it did 2 weeks ago when I got mastitis...not feeding will not be ideal!

I do totally understand that BFC's deal primarily with young babies, I guess I was just really hoping someone could help as I was getting a bit desperate! I'm determined for this not to force me into stopping, as neither me nor DS want to.

Good advice on the positioning too, I'll give that a try.

Thank you!!

Do you have a La Leche League locally? I found them much better with stuff regarding older children as it just seemed par for the course there rather than an unusual event.

There is one - although it's on a day I work so not easy for me to get to. Thankfully though it's a day I work from home, and DS is home too being looked after by DP so if I can get work to let me nip out for a bit it might be an option.

Thanks :)

I did la leche bfc training btw. Yes we did a good amount on extended bfing as most of us were doing just that at the time :) Might be the strength of the organisation.

I spoke to my local BFc about the same problem - she suggested laid back nursing - like you do with a newborn but starting much lower - and it did seem to help.

I also noticed after that that I had got a bit lazy with just waving the breast vaguely in her direction and letting her latch on any old how - so I spent a week making sure she had to reach up for the nipple, so she tipped her head back and latched better.