Breastfed baby dropping centiles

[CommanderShepard]

I swear I am never going to catch a break with this.

Had my 13 week old daughter weighed on Tuesday and the lady (who I now know is a family support worker, whatever that may be) started having a bit of a go because my daughter has gone from being above the 75th line to just below it (the dozy mare didn't write down the weight in the red book despite my reminding her to, so I don't know exactly how much she weighs but I think it's just over 6kgs). I know I shouldn't be too worried but she really, really upset me and said basically that the Commanderling can't be getting enough hindmilk. This is compounded by the recent spate of green, mucousy poos which I know can be a sign.

I went to the local hospital's breastfeeding clinic today where I found out that the latch is just completely wrong, I've been holding her wrong... everything. Everything I've been worried about recently has been down to the latch, it seems. They got me to try a new way of positioning her, so that I have my legs apart and she sort of lies across them so that her bottom touches the seat (so she's almost folded up in a way) and then comes at my breast from underneath. We sort of got the hang of it on the right side but apparently when I'm feeding her on the left (I'm left-handed, if that helps) I lift her up rather than in and I'm not supposed to. They keep showing me with a doll and it's just making no sense because I swear I'm doing what I'm told and they say I'm not.

But now we're home I can't seem to do it right and it's really uncomfortable for me and she clearly doesn't like it. I don't have a long torso and they didn't have me using a pillow but at home even lifting my feet doesn't seem to get her high enough for me to feel comfortable.

I feel wretched that she's three months old and I'm still screwing it all up and if I'd done something sooner maybe we wouldn't be having this problem. It's all my fault that she's not gaining weight properly and apparently I'm too stupid to take instruction from BCs because as soon as they're not there I can't do it. I'm dreading taking her to her next weigh-in in case she falls even further down the chart.

Where the hell do I go from here?

Please don't be scared to go back to the clinic - go back as many times as you need. It's a resource for mums and babies that need it. You need it, so use it. No one is going to judge you - they will admire your persistence.

In the meantime, when latching your baby remember nose to nipple. Line baby's nose up with your nipple. That should encourage her to open her mouth nice and wide and then swiftly scoop her into place. Easier said than done, but if it's not working, gently ease your little finger into the corner of her mouth to detach her and start again.

Do go back to Sally and Chloe, they are brilliant and will definitely not think you're not trying hard enough.

Also, did you tell them what the family support worker said? They've seen millions of babies and will be able to advise about the weight issue (or non-issue).

I just spoke to a lovely lady from LLL and she was very reassuring. She suggested breast compressions to increase hindmilk being dislodged and to block feed.

I will go back to Sally and Chloe on Monday and explain that the suggested technique hasn't been working for either of us. They weren't worried at all about the weight gain and thought it was strange that anyone would comment on it. Hopefully it'll be less busy on Monday as they were quite reasonably preoccupied with the newborns and I didn't get an awful lot of help short of "no that's not right... I'll be back in a moment". Thing is that if my daughter does not want to feed nothing is going to convince her to do so, so I was twiddling my thumbs for ages until she felt like trying again.

Thank you all for getting me through this weekend; it's meant a hell of a lot to me.

Today has been better and I've felt more confident. I spoke to my mum who is a nurse and was able to reassure me about weight gain and also point out that in the period between weigh-ins the Commanderling was diagnosed with and treated for reflux so slower weight gain is hardly surprising. I can't believe I didn't think of that.

The LLL leader I spoke to also said that some mothers and babies do have a weird latch that looks as if it can't possibly be right but it works for them. So I'm trying to hold on to that. A friend I spoke to today said that she found the same and ended up having to ignore the advice and just do what seemed to work.

Things seem a lot more doable today and MN has helped so much xxx

Glad you're feeling happier today Commander. If the latch feels comfortable to you and your baby is thriving (which seems to be the case), then why not keep going as you were.

The phrase "if it ain't broke...don't fix it" springs to mind.

Painless feeding and good weight gain suggest no problems with feeding - can't you just go back to what you were doing before in terms of position and latch? Or is that no longer working?

Sorry in a rush so will be quick but 2 things I wanted to add...

1. My ds2 was born on 75th dropped to 50th within a couple of weeks and now at 19 weeks is on 25th. HV's not concerned at all as happy and contented baby who sleeps through the night and has never really been a hungry feeder (unlike ds1!) I straight away said no top ups unless medically necessary and they have been nothing but supportive.

1. Both my ds's have had a 'weird' latch which doesn't look right but has never been painful or caused us problems. Ds2 fed for longer initially but has just got super efficient and now feeds in 8 mins so it must be right.

Good luck, sounds like you are doing a great job