BF all the time please help!

[miniegg1980]

I'm new to MN and really hoping someone can offer me some advice.

My DS2 is 10 days old and for the past 5 days has been feeding constantly. He can empty both in an hour but then within 5 minutes is crying uncontrollably until he gets more. The midwife suggested infacol but it's not stopping him wanting to feed. During the day is problematic enough as I also have a 2 1/2 year old who is getting really fed up with mummy not being able to play with him but during the night is a nightmare. I'm feeding constantly and when he's asleep try putting him down, but then he wakes and the whole cycle starts again.

Although my DH is brilliant, he also feels completely useless as he can't do anything to help and is now getting to the point where he doesn't want to pick up DS2 as he just starts looking for food.

I suffered from PND with my first and am really worried it's going to start again. I'm now so tired and feeling really fed up and tearful about it all. I know it's early days and I really don't want to give up BF (lasted 6 months with DS1) but I just can't see it working for us.

Sorry this has ended up long, any advice would be more than gratefully welcome

It will get better. The period when they come out of the sleepy newborn phase and want to feed all the time is the worst. Also around this time your hormones will be going crazy, your body is recovering from the birth and dealing with lack of sleep so you feel overwhelmed.

What I did was enlist as much help as possible so someone else was looking after my toddler during the day and I could devote all my efforts to the baby.

He did seem extremely hungry and unsettled between about 7-14 days of age and had issues with slow weight gain and breastmilk jaundice. We introduced a bottle at bedtime. I gave EBM where possible topped up with formula. This worked and allowed me to get two or three hours rest between nightfeeds. DS2 is now 14 weeks and still has a small EBM bottle top up at 7 pm, and we haven't needed to give formula for weeks. I did feel a bit bad about giving formula as I was set on exclusive breastfeeding but I still think it was the right decision for us and helped get us through that phase. Another bonus is introducing a bottle early means there is less risk of bottle refusal later. Having said that though, he does still have a massive preference for boob!

I'm sure someone more qualified will be along but in the meantime, once he's done on the 2nd side, have you tried putting him back on the 1st side. The breast never fully empties so there will be milk. Just wondering if he's getting frustrated when the milk slows dow

If your baby has lots of wet nappies and is otherwise happy and healthy, then you've just drawn the short straw and got a sucky baby. Some babies do suckle constantly for the first few weeks. Take it one day at a time, and when it gets bad, try expressing a feed so that at least your boobs get a bit of a break.

Can you get a sling so that baby can suckle without you having to put too much effort in?

Your DH can do plenty to help - bringing you food and drink, taking on the housework and cooking and washing and childcare so that you can concentrate on baby, and also driving you to a breastfeeding group so that you can get support from mums who are going through exactly the same thing.

The good news is that if you can get through the first few weeks, once baby is a bit bigger and feeding more efficiently, breastfeeding becomes an absolute doddle. No sterilising, no having to pack loads of stuff if you want to leave the house. You can just get up and go when you feel like it.

Remember that most midwives and GPs don't have much, if any, specialised breastfeeding training, so you really need to find a local support group asap.

have you tried having him in a sling? my second baby was a real velcro baby. he just wanted to be on me, and preferably feeding, all the time.

I got a moby (stretchy wrap) and it helped a great deal. when he was totally full and asleep i'd pop him in the sling. he sometimes wailed for a moment but generally settled down really quick and I could then got on with other stuff

Thanks everyone for replying.

FHDL34 I have tried swapping sides and then swapping back again, and he just goes on and on!

Two nights running now he's been sick and had quite a severe runny bottom at around the same time. So not sure if my milk is even doing him any good?

We have tried a bottle tonight so that I could go and pick DS1 up and it does seem to have settled him. So although I agree with all the benefits of BF - especially during the night and being able to go out at the drop of a hat (though finding a gap in the feeding is the difficult bit, don't think you're allowed to BF and drive )

HV coming tomorrow, so I will see what she says.

Thanks again everyone. Feel much happier now x

You just described dd2, I feel for you I really do!

She was constantly on the breast no gaps at all other than when asleep and she had to be held while asleep otherwise she was straight back up again. Switched sides constantly and if she was awake she needed boob. I also have dd1 2.8 yrs who was acting up as neglected.

DD2 is now 11 weeks and for the last 3 has changed rapidly. She sleeps 1.5-3 hours in her basket. 4 hours in the carseat. Will smile and play for an hour while awake not needing to be held. I have introduced a bedtime bottle but that was after she started to settle.

What got me through was having help with dd1 where I could eg going to granny's for the day while I just sat topless surrounded by food drinks the remotes and the iPad, in fact those days were lovely! Having DH clean and cook even though it was not to my standard and required tongue biting, jigsaws, films, nursery rhyme dancing, craft stuff etc for when dd1 was at home, a breastfeeding clinuc on a Friday to have something to look forward to, couple of days with friends/playplaces and most importantly these boards for advice/general ranting.

Take it one day every day and you will get there BUT put yourself first and if PND looms (I had it with DD1 and have come/still get inklings with DD2) then take a break and if that means a ff or just walking away while someone else deals with the crying then so be it and forgive yourself as it makes for a better mummy in the long run. I remember one night when DH was in work handing DD2 in a car seat screaming to DF and telling him to just bloody drive somewhere while I snuggled up in bed with DD1 for stories and sleep.

DH also twice stayed awake all night while I slept with DD2 in the chair to make sure I didn't squish her, she laid on a nursing pillow latching on and off and snoozing and I got a full nights sleep!

Ok long one but hope some of that helps as I know how bone screamingly hard a sucky baby is with high pitched lungs xx

Is it only in the evening he's back and forth and constant? If so, he could be cluster feeding, DD did that for 12weeks. Every evening for 6hrs. God I don't miss those days.

He's now 12 days old and things aren't really changing as the MW hinted at. He seems to get confused with tired, hungry, wind etc and so ends up feeding for comfort. But he also gets into a vicious cycle in the night with feeding, falling asleep, then getting hiccups and then realising he's in his cot and starts screaming for food again. I really don't enjoy co-sleeping (he has to be on my chest) as I don't get a proper rest and worry it's not good for him (HV also suggested this was not a good pattern to get into). I've tried my top in the basket which hasn't helped, I'm not sure he looks comfortable in it? At the moment he's conked out across my lap, but I know if I try and put him down somewhere he'll get hiccups and the cycle will start.

FHDL34 he seems to cluster feed in the morning from 6.30- 10.30ish, 12.30-2ish, 5-8ish and then throughout the night! All timed perfectly to coinside with dinner time, DS1 bedtime etc!

Am really debating moving to FF. We're going to try a bottle at 10 tonight to see if that will give me a couple of hours sleep. But it is making me really tearful that it's the only way he can be comforted. I miss my DS1 which sounds stupid, but when he asks for a mummy cuddle and I have DS2 attached to me I try my best but feel awful. But at the same time, it makes me want to cry thinking about giving him a FF. I bf DS1 for 6 long, fucking awful months and felt really proud and would love to do the same for DS2, but then I think it's not worth the effort, stress, tears, unhappy home.

Sorry for the long post, very tired and confused!

Has anyone checked for tongue tie? DS1 was like this and for the first 9 weeks, he cried if he wasn't latched on. There was no beginning or end to feeds, just non stop feeding and cat napping on the breast rather than falling into deep sleep.

have a look at the list of symptoms about half way down the page here

DD fed virtually non stop for 3 weeks and then it got better. I would be lucky to get an hour free between feeds. It's crazy and you see no end in sight but it does calm down. If you can get help with your other LO and hang in there for another week or so you'll be through the worst of it.

Thanks mawbroon, he was checked for this at birth, but will chat to the HV on Thursday. Not sure if I'm looking for a solution that just isn't there and I've just got to get on with it. He does seem to just catnap on me. He hates being put down - even at night. I think I might be able to cope with the feeding more if I could sleep properly inbetween instead of sitting up with him on my chest. Tried to get him to sleep in his basket this morning, put him down asleep, but as soon as he realises he screams the place down. Lasted 15 minutes before I picked him up! I just keep telling myself he'll grow out of it!

hi on facebook there is really good page called Analytical Amardillo - well worth a look for breast feeding support - it honestly got me through though first few months!