2.7 y.o resuming night feeds - is night-weaning worth the effort?

[AngelDog]

I'm 29 wks pg with DC2 and since I got pg, 2.7 y.o. DS had lost a lot of interest in nursing. He had dropped all feeds except very short pre-nap and bedtime ones (and he didn't always want those). Feeding to sleep stopped working unless he was very overtired.

He continued to wake a bit when when he stopped having night feeds, but then had a wonderful phase when he slept through about half of the time. Other nights he'd wake once and be resettled easily with a quick cuddle.

I suspect my colostrum has come in now as he's asking for milk a lot more. He is feeding to sleep again, and they are much longer feeds. He is also waking a lot more often and asking for milk at night. He is very cross and shouty when he wakes, and I have to wake properly up to deal with him.

I'm fed up with the increase in waking and with having to feed him at night. I have mild nursing aversions at night. In the day I can distract myself with a book but at night I get annoyed.

I've always distrusted the 'if you feed them, they'll continue to wake for it' view, but now I'm starting to wonder if it's partly true in DS's case. When plentiful milk wasn't available he clearly could manage without it at night.

We already co-sleep (and I plan on continuing when DC2 arrives). DH won't realistically be able to help. I'm not sure I have the energy to refuse a feed and risk DS being awake for the following 2 hours (which is likely if he wakes right up). OTOH I can't handle a newborn plus a toddler who wakes 4 times a night yelling for milk.

It's not helped by the fact that we're in the transition between nap and no nap. If DS naps, he doesn't go to sleep till 9.30pm which is way too late for me, and I think means he is getting too little total sleep. If he doesn't nap, he gets progressively more stroppy in the day and then wakes even more frequently at night, although he gets more total sleep per 24 hours.

All of which boils down to - is night weaning likely to be worth the effort, or should I just ride it out?

get him completely weaned before baby comes!!! otherwise you will have no time to yourself especially at night!! give him cows milk insted if he's thirsty - also encouraging him to sleep in his own bed is a good idea as he then wont be able to smell you/your milk. (just wondering why you co-sleep and plan on continuing this??)

when we where going through the nap to nap stage we found we had to keep dd busy later in the day so she didnt get stroppy, we would distract her by taking her outside so she was worn out by bed and slept through the night.

be strong and say no, calmly offer him a different drink and put him back to bed, he will eventually get the idea.

i think that while you continue to co sleep with him, it will be very difficult for you to stop the night feeds, especially since you have recently increased them. Would it be possible for his dad to deal with the night waking and to offer a drink of water if he's thirsty?

i think at this stage of pregnacy, you need your rest, and will do so even more when the new baby arrives... you have time to allow your little boy to adapt into the big brother role and not be the baby any more...it sounds like you are feeling ready for this to happen. YOU need to be feeling good and happy in order to be a good mum to your kids.

x

Hi OP, I went through much the same when I was pregnant with DD a few years ago. DS who was 2 at the time fed a lot, on demand, co sleeping and all night. I did find that when dd was born I was feeding constantly, because they were both demand fed. I always felt that if ds had been on a bit of a schedule then it would have been easier.

I did also feel like ds 'stole' all dd's milk - I would be full of milk and he'd glug it all down in about 10 seconds leaving her working hard all night for some very slow-coming leftovers (or that's what it felt like anyway). I weaned DS cold turkey when DD was about a week/10 days old. It wasn't too traumatic because I really wanted to do it so never felt weak or tempted to give him some milk. (well, once I did but DH was there to distract him).

He slept in his own bed (with DH available if necessary) until he was weaned, which iirc took about 4 days. then was back cosleeping and did for the next 2 years. (they are both just gone into their own bedroom). This worked for us and meant if he woke for cuddles, which he often did, I didn't need to wake up. It was all about getting sleep for me, really.

Thanks for the replies. I have no plans to completely wean him - I think he still needs it, and it's really useful on non-nap days. If he's overtired, I can either endure 45 mins of him bouncing off the walls before he'll sleep, or 2 mins of bf'ing and he's out like a light.

I think general sleep disturbances may be a factor too - last night he woke up yelling 4 times although I didn't feed him at all and he did go back to sleep. Today he neither napped nor went to sleep particularly early, which is very unusual.

We don't actually have space for him to sleep anywhere else, and when we've tried not co-sleeping, he's woken even more frequently. If I have to get out of bed in the night, I'm always up for at least an hour, so even if I only have to do that once or twice a week it'd be pretty shattering. But I like whatin's approach - that might be worth a try at night if I get desperate.

DH is insanely busy (works weekends and evenings as well as full-time daytime) and suffers from insomnia, so he won't be able to help.

It's been useful to reflect on this though. I think my immediate strategy is to see if I can get him to go back to sleep without bf without going the whole hog on night weaning.

i managed to stop feeding in the night and still co-sleep, it was very gradual tho, just them going longer between feeds and me trying shush and pat/cuddle to get them back to sleep. i could tell very quickly if that would work and if not they fed.