Leaving EBF 19wo for 4 hours

[needsadviceplease]

Help! I need to leave ebf DS, who will be 19w, with my mum for approx 3-4hrs. I know I'll need to leave him some milk, but I don't know where to start. I've not expressed before.

How much do I need to express? When should I express and how should I store it? Does it need warming? Should I use a bottle or a cup? What if he refuses it?

Anything else I should think of - he's never had a dummy, is it worth getting one to offer him?

It's a one-off, rather than an ongoing arrangement, if that makes any difference.

He's 15w at the minute and still bf pretty much hourly throughout the day, and rarely goes longer than 2-3hrs between feeds at night. It'll be in the evening I'm leaving him - from 5.30 on, which seems exactly the worst time but I don't have any control over it. I'm really not looking forward to it so to at least know what I need to do in practical terms would help loads.

TIA.

Have you tried hi with a bottle at all? Just he might not actually take one, but I think you can get sippy cups for 3months plus. But you definitely need to do a test-run!
I have only expressed a couple of times for one-off events and it wasn't that bad. The first time I tried to express (I've got a manual pump) I only got about a teatful of milk! I then got about an ounce the next time I tried for 10 minutes, so just beware it might take a while to get going with it.
You can start a bottle and add to it a couple of times over the day when you express to get enough. Then it can be kept in the back of the fridge 0-5 degrees for up to five days. Babies can drink it cold from the fridge, but I warm the bottle for a couple of minutes in a jug of boiling water. Swirl the milk, don't shake it, as apparently this kills enzymes or something
I am far from an expert, but that is what works for me!

If your DS has never been offered the bottle before, I would try it beforehand. Remember at that age the feeding is as much about comfort as it is hunger, I think there is every possibility that your DS won't feed at all whilst you're not there then feed voraciously during the night when you're back! My DD was a bottle refuser until 9 mo even though we tried to introduce it from 6 weeks.

As far as expressing, it could be quite difficult if you've never done it before. I personally found it easier to get a decent quantity first thing in the morning and after a hot shower (alternatively, a warm wet flannel on the breasts for a few minutes can help it get going). I would suggest doing a little per day as you are unlikely to find it easy enough to fill a couple of bottles in one day plus provide your DS what he normally gets. It can be frozen (ice cube trays are good!) Then just defrost in the fridge on the day you need it. You can't heat up breastmilk in the microwave, it needs to be warmed gently for example put the bottle in a bowl of hot water. don't feel guilty if you just leave a couple of cartons of formula, honestly I think it's likely your DS will go without a feed and wait for you.

I had to leave my DD at almost the same age to visit my dad in hospital. She'd never had a bottle, any expressed milk or formula. I had some expressed milk frozen but she'd never had any. I fed her right before I left and returned between 3-4hrs later. During that time, she'd got a bit crotchety so DH warmed the milk (I got out a 60ml portion I'd frozen) and gave it to her from a sippy cup. She took all of 10ml and spat that down her chest. However, she then was okay. Whether she was just a bit thirsty or whether she thought "it's okay, I'll wait for mum" but she didn't want to take the milk. I fed her as soon as I got in and she had a good old drink. This was also early evening, I'd left at about 5.15pm and I think I got back at about 8.30pm. When you express, make sure you freeze the milk in 1 or 2oz portions, so if she won't take it you're not throwing loads away.

You won't need to express too much - bf babies don't take the same amount as ff babies because (I think) your milk is getting more and more calorific so they take a steady amount from about 1-6 months (see here kellymom.com/bf/pumpingmoms/pumping/milkcalc/ here )

Also at 19weeks I would imagine your LO will be ok even if they don't eat much for four hours. I left my LO with his grandmas on two seperate days at about that age. He had probably 150-180 ml all day, and apparently would wait for ages before taking the bottle or cup as if he was waiting to see if I returned. When I got back he had a nice big feed to make up for it.

However we had been practicing with bottles and cups so he was familiar with them.

I also left a dummy just in case, though he had never had one. When he got a bit tired at one point my MIL tried it: he spat it out and chewed his hand instead, but I was glad I left it if only for my peace of mind.

Thanks all - v helpful. Some (prob) silly questions now, sorry - this really is 'expressing for dummies'. ;)

I'm going to start trying to express v soon (4wks til D-day) - I want to have some time to try hand-expressing before I splash out on any pump. I have a rather enthusiastic supply, especially first thing, so I'm hopeful.

So, I could express straight into a bottle, if I only need to keep it for a few days at the back of the fridge? And if I decided to freeze some, I need to buy those plastic bag things? Is that right? If I decide to try a sippy cup instead of/as well as a bottle, what's the best storage option then?

Re trying him with a bottle beforehand: will it really help? If he seems to refuse it then, what changes do I make to my plans? My gut feeling had been that I've got no long-term intention to bottle-feed, so if I feed him loads before I go, he might go without while I'm gone or just have a little off the spoon or something, but the bottle being there is just insurance really. If there's no point getting him used to the bottle, is a cup a better option or not really? If I do 'practise' with bottle beforehand, how do I do that - just offer him a bottle in place of breast at a feed? How long to persevere - can't imagine him taking a bottle from me, even if he'd take one when I'm not there!

Argh! I'd like to say I ebf because it's normal and healthy bla bla - but actually I think I just do it because it requires zero thinking or planning LOL.

needsadvice no such thing as a silly question. Can your DH/DP try giving a bottle or sippy cup when you're out of the house - just pop down the shops or something so your DS can't smell you or sense your presence - even being in the next room won't fool them. It's not a good idea to persevere too long if DS goes crazy and refuses it, don't bf right away or they'll make a connection that they'll get what they want if they refuse. Distract, then bf ten or fifteen mins later. I had 4 hour standoffs with DD over the bottle and it did nothing but distress both of us. I read conflicting advice but I think you're not meant to offer the bottle when they're really hungry as it just pisses them off, so maybe try between normal feed times when DS might be peckish but not ravenous??

I didn't bother with the bags, I sterilised ice cube trays then defrosted a few cubes at a time directly in the bottle. Can't give advice on hand pumping as I never had success with that. I found pumping really time consuming and frustrating that most of it got poured down the sink.

Another one here that thinks your dc prob wont even look for a feed if your not there. My dd is ebf and 18 weeks old and every sat and sun I leave her with dp for a few hours whilst I go riding. She has always point blank refused a bottle but I always leave few ounces of ebm just in case but if dp offers it to her she just refuses! So highly possible your dc wont look for a feed but leave some just in case!