3 month old feeding - not sure about Health visitor advice

[Totobear]

Hi,
I was feeding my 3 month old a bottle every 3.5/4 hours in the day and we had a nice little thing going with regards naps. I was never sure how hungry he really was on this timescale as he would rarely seem to ask for food and sometimes only take 100ml or so. I just stuck to this timescale because I thought you were supposed to feed them every 3/4 hours. However, I went to get him weighed and asked the HV.

She said if he isn't asking for food then don't give it to him and that he should be allowed to choose when he feeds, which has made me feel like a bad mother!

Anyway, it makes sense to me to let him choose when he wants to feed and I am happy to do that but the thing is he doesn't cry for food so I don't really know when he is hungry. He went six hours today between bottles and then got a bit grizzly so I fed him. Thing is, that seems a long time to go between feeds and also means he will be taking a huge meal at each one which just doesn't feel as healthy as smaller feeds but more often. On the other hand, I don't want him to not be able to decide when he is hungry as this might create an overheating habit in the future ?? I just want to do my best for him but I don't know what to believe.

Really confused. Anyone got any advice??

Thank you for reading xxx

I would stick to what is working for you. You dont want him not feeding all day and then wanting to be fed all night. Some babies dont ask for food very often but that isnt always a good thing.

DD would go from being fine and not hungry to being unreasonably starving and then would cry and not feed well. So I ignored HV and carried on the way we were. If the routine works, I'd stay with it.

What Vodka said.
DS is now nearly 4 and has never asked for food.

Agree with you, 6 hours is an awfully long time for a 3 month old to go between feeds in the day and like vodka says, you may end up with him reverse cycling.

As long as he takes the bottle when you offer and you aren't forcing him to take more than he wants too I would carry on with what you were doing before.

Some HVs seem to have a knack of making Mums feel bad, don't worry about it unduly .

if your routine works, stick with it. i messed around with ds's routine a few times due to well meaning advice but we always reverted back to what worked for us after a couple of stressful days. i just figured if he was going to go longer than 4 hours i would prefer that to be at night!

Thank you all, that has made me feel a lot better and given me the confidence to go back to what we were doing. I am worried about reverse cycling too...tonight will be interesting indeed but we can get back on track tomorrow. Xxx

Well if he is waking more for a bottle in the night your HV would like to come around and feed him

During the daytime (7-7) I always offered dd milk.every three hours. During the night (7-7) I left her to wait and demand it.

It seems to ve working for you so just stick with it

Thanks and yes, I will invite the HV round for a night at mine and see how she thinks her advice works out !!

crying for food thought is the very late hunger cue. babies route put there hands in their mouths and do other thing which indicate they are hungry. Maybe try learning your babies early hunger cues, as your HV is right feeding on demand is much better for them then feeding to a set routine.

Actually I don't have a set routine, I work around him, it just happens that he fell into one himself, and I used to be able to tell his hunger cues easily but now he spends his day with his hands in his mouth it's guess work. Anyway, he was hungry after three hours this morning and is now snoozing happily upstairs, hurrah!

Thanks for the helpful advice everyone.