Can i please have a quick whinge about PIL bfing comments?

[MangoHedgehog]

This is probably slightly unfair of me as, in general, PILs are pretty supportive of me bfing, despite their evident wish that they could have a greater role in feeding DDs. However, there are always a lot of comments about bfng and although I am working on letting them wash over me, some of them really wind me up!

MIL never did it herself - she had her babies in the 60s and was fed the prevailing medical view at the time about formula being nutritionally superior. Although she no longer believes this, I think that it may have coloured her view about bm quality, because she and FIL make frequent comments about my milk being too rich (e.g. responsible for her infant acne!) or too 'sour' (FFS!) and responsible for her evening grouchiness! FIL also frequently questions whether the milk i produce is nutritionally adequate.

I shouldn't be personally offended, I know, but I can't help it! we are a close family and see a lot of each other, so i get a lot of this. i wish there was a way of shutting them up without appearing as if have a chip on my shoulder about it.

If they start on again about your 'quality' of milk etc, ask them if they want to try it might not be helpful and might seem childish but it'll probably get them to stop!!

When I was BFing my DD my gran used to make the same sorts of comments and it shut her up pretty quick!!

Ooooo that would really piss me off too

Could you point them in the direction of some reading material such as kellymom or the womanly art of breastfeeding? Could you tell them that their comments are undermining your confidence and quite hurtful (even if that is stretching the truth a little)?

Totally with you! I get asked every time I see mil which is twice a week what is the minimum age I can wean dd! As apparently it will be 'easier for all of us'. Hmm, cant say I agree with that. What she means is when can I have dd overnight or day trip etc etc. Lol, i've been showing her the world health organisation info that reccomends bf for 24 months. Ha ha ha.

That would get right on my tits.

Next time, calmly say, "I'm happy to provide you with information if you wish, as you seem to question my parenting choices so frequently. I have made the decision to breastfeed, and those of us that it directly concerns are happy with this choice. Please respect that choice. I'm sure your concern is well meant, but it is wrongly directed, and starting to frustrate me."

Failing that, squirt them in the eye.

SirBoobAlot

Just get one of those 'Breastfeeding:none of your business' t-shirts.

Seriously, I think I'd just say that my milk regulates to the baby's needs, so it's neither rich nor sour, but exactly what she needs every time for the next 2 years!

Mango, my MIL is like this and I think it stems from my DH being FF as was common in the 70's. She was always amazed at DS's weight increase at weigh ins and would comment about the "quality of my milk" and "he must be getting enough then". DS is 10 months now and she nearly fell off her chair when I continued bf him past weaning and has asks me regularly how long we plan to feed for.

I've learnt that nod, smile and say nothing works for me. I think it's a generational thing, they did what they thought was best just like the rest of us and they may feel like their choices are being called into question now.

Aargh you have my sympathy! My mil said 11 day old ebf DS has put too much weight on since birth and I'm feeding him too much. On hearing that he's been sick today she told dh again that I'm over feeding him and should be restricting when and how much he's allowed to bf!

Just thinking I might really wind her up and do the same as pp (sorry, dont know how to get back to thread and see who had this fab idea!) and show her the who guidelines mwahhahahaha!

mine are lots better this time round, they nearly drove me nuts with DS1. even DH lost the rag a bit with his mum's comments about bfing being more important in 3rd world countries etc.

this time i have even fed in front of them as i made the mistake of hiding last time. DS2 also has baby thunder thighs and is generally quite huge and MIL still comments on how he must be getting enough then...

My MIL is technically a step-MIL and therefore has never been pg let alone bf - doesn't stop her. All my 3DC were born skinny and a couple of weeks early (not prem just 37-38 weeks) 6th centile ish. They then rocket up the centiles to end up above the 90th, all 3 followed the same imaginary line you can put the charts on top of each other and they overlap almost perfectly so it is obviously normal for my DC even though they don't follow a printed textbook line.

My own DM would make positive comments about 'gold top milk' etc whereas MIL would say things like "have they talked to you about childhood obesity yet?". I did spout latest bf theory and she did come round.

Each milestone was met with a comment eg four months = give up time, first tooth = give up time, weaning = give up time, crawling = give up time, talking = you get the idea.

Ignore, ignore and educate if you can. Best of luck OP

Total sympathy. I got the "oh are you still doing that" with lots of huffing and puffing and tutting noises. Followed later by "DS2 [DP'S brother] was already weaned by now and it never did him any harm". I diplomatically remained silent on mentioning early weaning having some bearing on childhood obesity as he is HUGE .