16wo just diagnosed cows' milk intolerant - feeling down about bf

[PiggyMad]

After an evening in hospital with the baby yesterday and all sorts of blood tests after finding blood in her stools, doctors think she is reacting to cows'milk through my milk.
I feel a bit like my body has let her down and I feel so guilty that I didn't take her to the doctor sooner as she has been having problems with wind, mucous and constipation for about 5 weeks. She has been gaining weight and moving up the centiles and the health visitors I have talked to just said it could be the heat, taking in more foremilk etc. I'm so annoyed with myself that I have made her ill.
We've been referred to a dietician and paediatric clinic so will see what happens there, but I just feel a lot more responsibility now that I am going to have to be so careful with my diet and one slip up affects her. Also sad that she is going to have allergies for the rest of her life, which is down to me as I have asthma and hayfever. Also feel it's my fault as I ate peanuts during pregnancy
Just need a bit of a morale boost and a moan, I think!

It's not your fault, and is certainly not to do with eating peanuts. You had no way of knowing that she is intolerant to dairy. It isn't your fault if she has allergies, you can't help the fact that you have asthma and hayfever. By breastfeeding you are giving her the best possible start to avoid or minimise these health problems herself and I am sure you are doing a great job. Avoiding dairy yourself might be hard but there are loads of substitute products and it isn't forever.

I am lactose intolerant - I will admit it is really difficult to find foods which don't contain it. Lots of places (I found Sainsburys best) do a huge variety of dairy free food.

I am vegan and once you get into the habit it's fairly easy to avoid lactose

of course it's not your fault.

there are loads of vegan or milk-free foods out there these days, so you'll have to look, but if you do online shopping, or find them out before you go out, it will be easier.

if it's cow's milk protein, then you might be able to eat goat's milk (only on recommendation of dietician) and soya milk.

found this on intelihealth.com
"If you have a cow?s milk allergy, check labels carefully for the following ingredients: "milk," "whey," "dried milk solids," "casein," "lactalbumin," "sodium caseinate," "potassium caseinate," "calcium caseinate," "butter," "cheese," "margarine" and "curds." Do not eat any of the following foods:

Milk
Cream
Yogurt
Lactaid
Acidophilus milk
Ice cream and ice milk
Sherbet made with milk or frozen yogurt
Cream sauces and soups, white sauces
Butter or margarine (except parve)
Cheese
Baked goods made with milk, including breads
Mashed potatoes and other vegetables prepared with milk, cheese, butter or cream
Instant cocoa, breakfast mixes and cereals containing dried milk"

this says goat's milk has the same protein

Also, you BF her is indisputably a good thing.

Plus, she may not have allergies for life. You say she may have cows milki intolerance? Intolerance does not equal allergy, and plenty of kids grow out of intolerances.

It's so overwhelming when you get the diagnosis isn't it? My twins both have cows milk protein and egg allergies, and it did seem like a nightmare to begin with.

But honestly, it just becomes part of life and you'll adapt surprisingly quickly.

How do you know she'll have allergies all her life? Intolerances and allergies are very different and both are frequently outgrown in childhood.

The thing that took me a bit of time to get my head around is the fact that I'm likely to be bfing longer than planned. The dairy free formula substitutes taste pretty grim and trying to get an older baby to take them can be tough. Our dietician says that they can have normal soya milk as a drink from 1 year (mine are ok with soya), and at 13 months I'm still bfing morning and night - and through the night for DTS who doesn't sleep though, grrr!.

Once I'd got my head around treats, a dairy free diet for me wasn't so bad. Baking without dairy is easy - just use dairy free spread like Vitalite or Pure instead of butter. Lots of dark chocolate is dairy free. Cheese substitutes are pretty grim but everything else is surprisingly ok.

Have a look on the 'allergies' board on here - lots of people in the same boat and good advice.

And please don't waste time feeling guilty. You've got a diagnosis which is great, so you can deal with it going forward. You'll never know if the peanut thing made any difference or not, so don't dwell on it. It's highly unlikely it did.

I did everything 'right' in my pregnancies, bfed them all, weaned at 6 months etc etc, and out of my 4, I've got 3 asthmatics, one with nasty eczema, 2 with mild eczema, 2 with significant food allergies, 1 with a mild food allergy, it goes on and on!

Be kind to yourself - you did a great thing pushing for a diagnosis and now you can move forward. Good luck

oh piggy, don't beat yourself up!

i have 2 dairy and egg intolerant kids and it's not something you can control.

also, an intolerance is very different to an allergy, and the fact that she reacts to milk right now does not mean she will have allergies/
CMPI is really very common and a lot of children do just grow out of it.

it's hard cutting milk out of your diet to start with, but once you get used to it it's really fine, i promise.

Hi, so sorry you're feeling down. I understand that horrible feeling of responsibility - DS2 was the same, he'd been in ICU and I had to keep him alive and then had to make sure I didn't eat anything that would upset him - very stressful! But you can do this, just think how good it is you are BF-ing, he would have had a stronger allergic reaction to formula, now you can follow the right diet and solve the issue. Really wishing you good luck.

yup, DD is suffering with horrid eczema.

the only things i did wrong were have eczema as a baby and procreate with an asthmatic husband.

Don't beat yourself up. DD is CMPI and wasn't diagnosed to just over a year and only then did I cut dairy out. Just think if you had been FF then your DC would have been much worse. One recommendation for you - Swedish Glacé diary free ice cream - almost as good as the real thing!

Thanks so much for all of your lovely messages. They've made me feel a lot better!
I'm vegetarian so just felt an overload at the thought of having to cut out another major food group! Good to know hobnobs are stil on the menu!
joyful I would love the chocolate cake and brownie recipes. I felt quite guilty that one of my first thoughts was 'Oh no, no more chocolate!'

Holland and Barrett is good for dairy free chocolate ((wink))

On another thread I read that Fry's chocolate cream was ok? I think After Eights are too - but check!

Rice pudding is nice made with that almond milk.

Yay!! chocolate! Will be taking a trip to Holland and Barrett this weekend ItsAll

Thanks for the recipe Joyful I will report back!

I am quite partial to an After Eight, I must admit, thanks for the tip little

I suppose I will get all of the information from the dietician, but thanks for the links and info nickel and jojay.

I should probably start implementing the new diet soon - do not want a repeat of the scary blood-in-poo incident! I'm hoping her wind and digestive pain will ease as well. I thought she was just a windy baby and taking too much foremilk in the hot weather, hence her varying bowel movements. Her weight is increasing normally and she is moving up the centiles so I didn't think there was an issue. I didn't realise parenthood would just one big guilt trip!

After Eights:

Ingredients:
Sugar, plain chocolate (sugar, cocoa mass, cocoa butter, emulsifier (lecithin), flavouring), glucose syrup, flavouring, citric acid.

That's ok then?

Hi! I was in the exact same situation. Dd was hospitalised @ 11 weeks for similar symptoms but she also had horrific reflux sickness that on this occasion was bright green as she'd literally thrown up so much. it was not a happy time.
But once I'd figured out what it was everything changed. Although I will be honest with you and say that it did take quite a while for everything to get out of my system and my dd is particularly sensitive.
But within 1 month I had a different baby. She was so much happier and not screaming in pain 20 hours per day.

For us it's cows milk protein and soya. It may be helpful for you to eliminate soya now too as chances are it may upset tummy if cows milk is doing so too.

It is very hard at first but it really is doable. After a while it is even easy as its just normal.

Here are the things I cannot do without:

For a milk substitute I mainly use kara coconut milk (v widely available in supermarkets same shelf as soya) it's not so good in hot drinks but good for cooking and it's also what I use for dd's porridge/cereals.

If you are a coffee drinker I can recommend alpro hazelnut milk-I love that in coffee.

For tea the best I found was hemp milk (blue carton can get from health food shops or waitrose) it has a sweetness to it but consistency is closest to cow milk in my opinion.

Vitalite margarine for everyday use and good for baking. It is available in all supermarkets and is cheap.

Own brand bourbon biscuits are dairy and soya free. As are ginger nuts, hobnobs and rich tea.
Party rings and pink wafer biscuits are dairy free but contain soya.
Full size jammy dodgers are dairy free but the mini ones are not (logic?)
Aldi angel cake is dairy free and v tasty.
Those small ready made cupcakes from supermarkets are usually milk free too.

Marshmallows are good when you want sweets. On hot choc made with cocoa powder with a fake milk is so nice. Also kara do a choc coconut milk ready made or oatly choc milk is widely available too.

Aldi mint dark choc 'crisp' things are amazing, 99p a pack too can't go wrong.

Most good quality dark chocolates are dairy free but a lot do contain soya but minimal amounts.

Be careful with crisps a lot have hidden whey powder for instance salt and vinegar ones.

Um, also if you do decide to avoid soya too most bread contains it so you have to be careful. But cheap pittas and tortilla wraps are always fine.

The good news is that an intolerance is usually grown out of! I was told dd would hopefully be fine by the age of 3. Well, she will be 1 next week and is already showing signs of being able to have little amounts both through me and directly. For instance she can eat bread now or I'll give her a teeny taste of cake sometimes.

There is an end and there is no reason you need to give up bf. we are still bf now.
If you DO decide you want to supplement with some formula at any point or want some help with introducing solids then there are products available for you to try.

We were prescribed neocate formula which we never used as I decided to just carry on bf but it is there if you need it. There is a product called neocate spoon which is a powder that mixes to a thick, yoghurt like substance that can be used as a first food if going the spoon feeding route.

Good luck with your elimination diet

Please don't presume that CMPI means A lifetime of allergy. DS has now outgrown his CMPI at grand old age of 21 months. his was the screamy ,vomity FTT type. He has no known allergies. loves nut products , eggs, etc.

Formula would have been 100 x worse. I say that from bitter experience and as someone who FF from 6 weeks.

You mention blood in stools. it might reassure you to know that cow's milk can make even non-allergic people's digestive systems bleed.

I gave up dairy and soy when DS (bf) was 6 weeks and had a different baby in 48hours. I felt fantastic that just by changing my diet I could have a happy baby who wasn't screaming in pain.

He's almost 10mo now and, at the dietitian's suggestion I have started to introduce lactose-free dairy back into my diet. Let me tell you, nothing has ever tasted so good as last weeks lactofree ice cream, Monday's slice of goats cheese and tonights pasta carbonara.
He has also been able to eat bought bread which contains soy so life is returning to normal. (although I'm hoping not to put back the weight I've lost through not eating cheese!)

Thanks so much for your fab post tiny. So many useful hints and suggestions to give me a heads-up!
Glad to know that it does make a big difference to the babies golemmings and narmada. I bet that goats cheese was bliss gole.
The paeds notes say 'allergy', rather than intolerance, but I must admit I don't really know what the difference is .
Can anyone suggest a soy and milk free bread? Or should I be able to find one relatively easily in the supermarket?
Thanks again for all of the helpful posts - I am making notes to take shopping with me!