Want to give up but have got this far

[greenreen]

Have huge DS, 13 weeks old, my second baby & ebf. He is big, 17 lbs now & feeds very frequently. Thought I was doing quite well to feed him & look after my toddler but I've got very fed up. He has a growth spurt about every 2 weeks, we have all been ill & I have terrible backache as he is so heavy. I wanted to get to 6 months as we have serious allergy on the family so wanted to give him as much chance as I can for him not to develop this. I'm so worn out though, & today have terrible migraine that I think must be caused by dehydration from so much feeding, tiredness & back pain. Need some wise words from someone...

I'm not really sad generally, just finding bf harder this time round.
I drink a lot but he feeds a huge amount, I bf DD1 till 15 months & she was hungry but he is on another level!
I try to feed him on sofa propped with cushions or lying down in bed but with a lively toddler we are often out, so also park benches, small kids chairs at playgroups.. & he always needs a feed everywhere we go! Plus the carrying of him, I'm small too but even my tall DH complains that he is v heavy to hold.
I'm just on the verge of giving up & can't weigh up if its a big deal or not. I feel guilty that I fed my DD for so long & she didn't get my allergy.

No big words of wisdom but just wanted to say that it sounds like you have done amazingly so far with such a milk monster

Perhaps rather than look at 'giving up' or 'failing' before 6 months, why don't you take one day at a time. So, "I'm going to breastfeed today"... Just get through each day at a time, rather than counting the days down to 6 months, or looking further ahead than tomorrow.

Could you perhaps mix-feed rather than stopping bf altogether? DS would still get the benefits of bf but give you a break with one or two bottles during the day. It doesn't have to be all or nothing does it. Just a thought.

Also, could you express so DP/DH could help out at night or having a bottle whilst out and about to ease with your back pain instead of nursing.

Easy to write, but try not to feel guilty for wanting to switch to formula. Happy mummy is just as important. All the best

Thanks, I know I'm putting pressure on myself but I thought I could do it & its such a challenge, esp with a toddler about. I have thought about mixed feeding, & DH suggested I try expressing but I'm not v good at it & have no idea when to find the time as he is permanently attached!
I can't decide what to do next but welcome any advise from people who have fed large hungry babies!

Oh greenreen! Of course you're worn out. Who wouldn't be? Two small ones do not make for an easy job, before you factor in illness and a big hungry baby (congratulations!). The only thing I can offer (lame) advice on is the backache, which nearly drove me insane with a tiny baby. I made dh buy me one of those ugly bf chairs and it changed my life. I do not understand how any can get comfy propped up in bed. I thought it was agony.

You poor thing - 17lbs is a lot of baby to carry around! I would try mix feeding if I were you. Just one bottle a day, or every other day to give you a little chance to recover.

I had a milk monster, so I hear you! A lot of hungry babies settle down around the four month mark, so you're so very close :)

Also think its very normal to feel fed up at times, most if not all breastfeeding mothers do. Not trying to minimize how you feel, just saying that its pretty normal.

How frequently is little one feeding?

It sounds like you are having a hard time at the moment. I'm not sure that bottle feeding will help though. He'll still need to be held and fed, he'll still be getting heavier and you might still get migraines. Plus you'll have the extra work of sterilizing, heating, mixing, cooling etc.

It is totally up to you of course, and 13 weeks is more than halfway towards your 6 month goal, you've done well. If you do decide to try bottle feeding, I'd try mix feeding or feeding EBM first to try and work out if it is any easier. It'd be sad to give up something you want to keep doing and find it didn't even help.

You can look at drinking more and finding more comfortable positions to feed, as well as trying to get a bit more support so that you can sleep more. Then once you aren't feeling so exhausted and ill you could maybe have a think about it again?

I am sympathetic, honest. But you want to make sure that if you do change how you feed him that it'll help, not make things worse. There might also be solutions that aren't 'give a bottle' if you'd rather not give up yet. All the best whatever you decide.

For instance, would feeding him in a sling when you are out and about help spread his weight?

Thanks for the advice. I'm going to try & keep going as now my migraine has gone I'm thinking more clearly & I agree I don't want to change to bottles then find it doesn't help anyway. Going to take it a week at a time. Also I think he just loves to suck so going to try a dummy which I hadn't wanted to do but if it helps me keep going its worth a try.