'dreamfeed' = wrong?

[Superslinger]

DH has read about dreamfeeding, where apparently you feed baby whilst asleep late at night and it gets them to sleep through? Anyway, he thinks it's a great idea and definitely what we should be doing, but I find myself feeling a bit... odd about it/ like it's for some reason a bit 'wrong'?

Does anybody who knows more about it have an opinion? Am I just being silly? Does it really work and there are no down sides? TIA

It really does work, can't see what would be so wrong about it myself.

I did this with both my babies at around 10.30pm at night until they were weaned. It is one step which helps them sleep through until morning, worked for me and I can't think of any downsides.

It never worked with DD. She woke again at the same time that she would have woken without one. I tried giving her one for a fortnight at 10.30. She still woke at 1 every night.

DS has reflux so it never worked for us, it just disturbed his sleep more. I get the theory of it but it felt a bit wrong to be interfering in his natural sleep / hunger patterns. Still, his sleep was so bad (still is actually) that we'd have probably persevered longer if it wasn't for the sickness.

Worked for all three of my kids, much better to be feeding at half ten before bed then them going til the morning than having to feed at 2/3 am.

Also all of them have been very good sleepers, which I think the dream feeding helped, they still get the feed they need while learning to sleep through the night.

Never worked for me either. DS would sleep 6-4am but if I gave him a dreamfeed at 22.00 ish he would wake more during the night?! I remember absolutely tearing my hair out at how illogical that was and wishing he was easier to manage. I have now learnt trying to understand, reason or figure anything out is futile......

It works for us - LO has a dream feed at 11pm, and has now started to sleep will 6am! (14 weeks old). If he doesn't have a dream feed he'll wake around 1.20am (usually just when I've dropped off to sleep)

Works great for me, I feed just before I go to sleep and he is always fast asleep but eats well and then lasts longer through the night. Why would it be wrong?

I never did dream feeds as it seemed to me to circumnavigate the point of bfing on cue - baby was fast asleep and not hungry at that point so didn't need feeding. If they needed feeding later, then that's when they were fed. It just seemed a bizarre concept to me to feed a baby when they weren't hungry and weren't upset, in need of comfort or any of the other myriad reasons babies want to nurse. Bodily autonomy and all that

Silly question but do u literally just pick them up out of the cot & put them to the breast? I think it maybe worth us giving this a shot.

Yeah, you just pick them up, and get them to latch on. I think if you lightly stroke their cheek it naturally stimulates the rooting reflex.

For what it's worth, it didn't work for us. My friends kept urging me to give it a go but without it she would always sleep through from 8pm till anytime between 1am and 5am before waking for a feed. She never took a 10pm-ish feed naturally and I was just grateful for the long stretch of sleep she had. She was also difficult to settle though and I thought it was madness to even risk disturbing her!!

I also wondered about when you would know to drop it?

Anyway, DD was sleeping 7pm till 7am by just over 5 months so it didn't do us any harm not doing it.

kdiddy and truthsweet I think that's it! It just seems a bit unnatural to me somehow. sorry if I've offended anybody with 'wrong' - I don't mean that in it's strongest sense of course; just that it somehow doesn't sit very comfortably with me/ when DH raises it I feel like 'I don't think I want to do that', but I haven't been able to put my finger on, or explain why. Think I'm going to quote truthsweet - 'bodily autonomy and all that'!

I wouldn't like to be fed in my sleep - I'll let you know when I am hungry thanks rather than having it shoved down my throat whilst I'm not even conscious....why should our dc be any different?

OP - totally agree with you - go with your gut.

I tried it once and DD did the biggest projectile vomit an hour later. Scared the living daylights out of both of us! I haven't tried it since. Nor has she been sick like that before or since. She wakes for a feed any time between 1230 and 3. Usually around 2. I can cope with that.

Like others have said, seems odd to disturb her to feed her.

Dream feed works well for many

It just means you can choose when to feed a bit. Best just before you sleep , so say 11pm. It just means that you don't fall asleep then 30 mins later get woken

Depends how young little one is they might still wake at say 5am for a top up but at least you begin to know an approx time.

Just gently rouse, feed in dark and pop back to sleep. In a few weeks/ months you can stop and see how they go without and if waking again go back to dream feed

Usually dreamfed until shortly after weaning so 7/8 months. Lucky though as babies slept from through from 8pm-7/8am just waking for dreamfeed

( babies up for around months do need feeding every 4 hrs approx though)

I've got a different solution: we keep DS up until about 9pm. Then if he does wake after 6-7 hours sleep, its nearly morning anyway (only works whilst still on ML and able to leave him to sleep til mid-morning).

Tried it with DD dint work she'd still wake at the same time in the night. So I just went to bed earlier.

DS seemed to naturally wake at that time for a feed anyway, don't think it help him sleep longer though.

I tried it with my DD and it didnt work for us. We just had an extra hour of crying because she didnt want to be woken up! x

I tried with DC1 & 2. Didn't work. They would take a tiny feed then wake at the same time they would have done anyway saying "actually I will have that milk after all, thanks."

My experience leads me to agree with the "if they are hungry they will wake," approach.

If the nights are a struggle can you pump a bottle of morning milk for DP to give for the first night feed? I do this with 6 week old DC3 and it allows me to get a good 5 hour plus block of sleep.

It didnt work for me either I like my sleep too much to stay up late enough! Also the final aim is to put them to bed at 7 for them to sleep till morning, encouraging night feeding doesnt really help with this surely? Always found on demand feeding worked best.

Worked for us, DD fed at 2200 and then slept till 0700. She dropped the dream feed last week and now sleeps 1900 -0700.

Personally I think if you have babies you know that you are going to get less sleep feeding them when they asleep and therefore not hungry seems to be all about convenience for the parent to me.

My 7mo has had lovely periods of sleeping through and some months of not for whatever reason .......you adapt, I'm back at work now it's harder if he wakes but again you adapt. BUT my lo is on the 98th centile and ff after unsuccessful bf so I'm paranoid about overfeeding him so I figure if he doesnt wake to "ask" for it he doesn't need it.

Yup, it is about convenience for us - if LO feeds well at 11pm, and then doesn't wake till at least 4am (sometimes goes till 6am), it means that I normally get at least 4 hours of proper sleep. And I can deal so much better with him if I've had sleep.

I just pick him up and put him to the breast. He tends to go for it straight away. I try to feed for as long as possible. I aim for about half an hour, using both sides. Sometimes he eats and eats, other times he just feeds for about 5 minutes. He normally 'wakes up' a little bit, eyes open looking around, but then his eyes shut again once he's feeding.

Never worked with either of mine, in fact with DD it seemed to make her wake more. I don't really see the point in that case. I think if you gradually teach them to settle or resettle themselves then they'll sleep through when they're ready.