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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

My 19mo is BF obsessed and I am getting a bit sick of it (long)

12 replies

Napdamnyou · 20/07/2012 20:07

i like BF and am grateful that I have been able to do it all this time especially as we have always had major hassle getting DS to sleep. However, the frequency and length of his feeding is getting to be a bit of a concern. He wants 'mah' all the time. He keeps asking for it, prefers it to food, and spends hours a day sucking. I thought young toddlers were speed feeders?

Wakes up and demands milk urgently. Gets on my lap on sofa and sucks contentedly from 6am til 7.30am, jumping off now and again to play and bring me books to read him, which he wants to have read to him whilst sucking.

7.30 - 9am Won't eat breakfast in high chair, but will eat toast fingers and apple slices whilst running about, interspersed with demands for milk. Often pushes food away and says 'no, mah'

Chases me into shower and stands outside plaintively asking for mah. Watches me dress whilst still asking.

Climbs on me while I stuff down my toast, steals toast and runs about with it then wants mah.

9-11am. I take him out and wear him out swimming and running about in the morning, he has snacks and I tell him no mah til we are home.

11am. Back home. Immediately wants mah. I give him five minutes then put Peppa on whilst I get his lunch. He wants mah before lunch and goes mental if put in chair without it. Will eventually eat lunch, then shouts for more mah.

11.45am - 12.30pm. BF and a story on sofa then I lie on bed with him and he stops wriggling and goes quiet. Then he is transferred to cot for nap.

1-3pm . Nap. Often wakes, shouts for mah then resettles. Or doesn't and has to be given more mah to get him back to sleep.

3-5pm. Out and about as before. No mah til we are home etc.

5.15- shrieks for mah whilst hanging off my leg as I throw tea together. Has a quick feed, then tea, then stories (whilst BF-ing) and then draw curtains, play quiet bedtime music, no talking, final BF (about 25 minutes) then bed at 7.15pm awake but contented. Usually sleeps til 6am but twice a week will wake at 3am and after listening for 25 mnutes to shouts for mah, I get in bed with him and feed him back to sleep.

Help! Is this normal? Will he grow out of it? I was hoping it would gradually taper off and DH thinks he should stop at 2 years anyway. But he is so bloody mad for it and always has been and it's showing no signs at all of tapering off.

I don't think he needs this much milk and there is a comfort thing going on. I don't want to stop but would like advice as to whether this will pass or if I should be tougher about it.

He is a very jolly active little boy and am SAHM with him all the time so can't see that is separation anxiety or anything. I think he just loves it and knows when he is onto a good thing! He just loves sucking and cuddling and being read to and is not keen to change a thing!

But I am sick of my cooked food being rejected and being chased about the house having my top grabbed and shouted at for mah all the damn time. :(

OP posts:
nancerama · 20/07/2012 20:09

Marking my place as my 13 month old would happily ditch solids in favour of milk and I have fear he is turning into a Velcro toddler.

EauRouge · 20/07/2012 20:22

Yes, definitely within the realms of normal! Some toddlers are more enthusiastic than others. Do you think he might have a tooth coming?

TheLurkiestLurker · 20/07/2012 20:27

I was also wondering if it's teething related. I'm just weaning my DS (20mo) off his final bedtime breastfeed and he's happily accepted it, until tonight when he's been asking for a feed but I know he has teething pain - breastfeeding a big comfort then.

Does he drink cows milk at all?

Napdamnyou · 20/07/2012 20:59

He is not very interested in cow milk but eats soft and hard cheese and yoghurt...he does have four canines which are slowly coming through so maybe that is something to do with it. It does feel like it is him taking advantage of my being SAHM though, he manages fine when a non lactating person is in charge of him, eg a babysitter or his dad! But when he sees me, it's always mah mah. He greets his dad with 'dadda' but just says 'mah' (milk) not 'mamma' (mummy) when he sees me :(

OP posts:
Happygirl77 · 20/07/2012 21:52

Reading between the lines, it sounds as though YOU don't want to be bf this frequently and/or feel you would like some role (like mummy!) other than mah-giver! You are allowed to distract your child, ask him to wait (until we've read two more books or until after lunch or until the timer goes off, for example). This does not and will not make you a mean or bad mummy! It is not a case of continue as you are OR stop bf altogether, there are many options between the two extremes.

buttonspoon · 21/07/2012 19:36

Gosh, I just posted a very similar thread without reading this one first. I feel your frustration! I work full time so I know my DD is fine without bf during the day as she loves nursery, but as soon as I'm there it's 'booby' all day long.

Hope someone with good advice comes along soon!

bigkidsdidit · 21/07/2012 19:48

Do you hink a lot of your stresses with the situation are not actually about the bf but about never having time to eat etc?

Could you try things entirely unrelated to stopping bf, like toast only in his high chair or not at all - then you could eat yours too with a coffee.
Or two stories only at a time? I don't know, but it seems to me of you had a bit of space, and time to cook dinner in peace, and time to eat, the feeding would not seem so overwhelming?

As I say I don't know, as I don't bf mine any more, but I also have a 19mo and understand the hanging off your leg feelings Confused

Napdamnyou · 21/07/2012 20:23

That's it exactly, it feels very crowding and after a year and a half of being needed, physically and emotionally, so intensely by DS, (and until 6 weeks ago it was 24/7 - he never slept for more than 4.5 hours) - I feel quite worn out and drained. It is just the sheer physicality of it, while I love the cuddles and kisses I don't even get many of them any more, he just demands and grabs and pulls and clambers and sucks and shouts and wants so much of me all the time.

He is a lovely little boy, but when he is awake I have no life and no time for myself, every moment is about him.

He smiles and laughs and waves at me when playing and he will play by himself but is always checking in and asking for milk after five minutes. I dread the days when he doesn't nap at all because it is so exhausting, and although I'd like another, am not sure if I could cope all over again with this.

OP posts:
mamij · 21/07/2012 20:32

Might it be a comfort thing? DD1 was weaned off day time feeds when she was 13 months and 15 months for night feeds altogether (weaned herself) as we were expecting DD2. She cried for a long time when I stopped day feeds (I felt terrible seeing her cry and knowing that all I had to do was to feed her). But she was fine after about three days and understood that "mummy milk" was only for bedtime and getting up in the morning time.

DD2 is now 9 months and have started weaning. But still give her mummy milk on demand Smile I think I'll feed her as long as she wants and assume she'll stop on her own (probably doesn't help you though and will watch with interest on other suggestions).

Napdamnyou · 21/07/2012 20:34

Do you thunk I should stop BF while reading? At the moment he combines his two favourite things so will sit there vaguely sucking away and being read to for over half an hour...which leaves me hungry and fed up!

He screams blue murder if put in chair to eat without having had Mah first. Will only stop hassling and eat if distracted with stories, nursery rhyme DVD, toys etc ( that is a whole other thread) so i bolt down my food whilst getting him to eat his, although at weekends DH plays with him then we sit as family and eat properly together.

OP posts:
Napdamnyou · 21/07/2012 20:36

I think it is comfort, yes, not that he really needs comfort but it is just his all time favourite activity and if he can combine it with watching Peppa (yes, I should stop this, I know, but at least I get to stop talking and reading for five minutes when he watches a DVD and BFs) or being read a storybook or ten he is in heaven!

OP posts:
drcrab · 21/07/2012 20:49

Sounds like my dd who will be 22 months in a couple of days. I got my DS off the boob at 23 months when I was preg with dd and it hurt!!

I have no idea how to get dd off. I work ft as well and she definitely doesn't need the boob at nursery!! She drinks cows milk, eats cheese, yogurts and other regular food.

Grr.

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