thinking about breastfeeding but keep hearing horror stories!

[mamadiva]

I bottle fed ds 6 years ago as didn't know anyone who had bf so was clueless and had only really heard my mums rather sceptical view.

now expecting dc2 and would like to give it a go as one of my best friends has successfully feed 2 children now and speaks about how easy it is but I'm still getting the olds horrors (bf babies scream constantly, babies constantly attached, feeding outdoors, don't know how much their getting, painful bla bla bla) and given that I have to return to work when baby is 6 months what if I can't express put baby won't take a bottle?

Argh so much please tell me your experiences and Howe to combat these issues.

Currently feedIng a second DS and it's brilliant. IME bf babies scream a lot less because you can feed them, comfort them, help them fall asleep, relieve their pain.....all by popping them on the boob. They don't have to wait while you make a bottle. You don't even have to get out of bed. I honestly think once you're into it its waaaaaay easier :) once you've fed in public once or twice it really becomes a non-event, nobody notices. It shouldn't be painful, can be a bit uncomfortable at first but any more than that you definitely seek help, bf counsellors are amazing and can help you. And what maples said about them getting enough. Enough is what the baby wants and they will see to that.

It's harder in some ways (expressing is a pain, more night feeds etc), but much much easier in others - you always have food with you, night feeds, although more frequent, are a piece of piss to do. Totally worth doing for you and your baby if you can. Also, not all bf babies do feed more, although mine did.

I suggest getting hold of a couple of really good bf books now. My fave is Ina May Gaskin's guide to Breastfeeding.

And don't talk to to many people about it - unfortunately bf knowledge in the uk is a bit crap so you'll get loads of misinformation and horror stories, even from health professionals. Maybe find out about bf groups etc now, so you are ready when the baby is born.

Thanks, you're telling me all the stuff my friend did but kind if thought maybe she's just one of the lucky ones lol

I'm not actually due until march(ish) first appointment isn't actually with mw until August 2nd but trying to busy myself making proper decisions rather than buying stuff i don't need

Buy yourself the "food of love" it's a great book on breastfeeding, lays out all the advantages, and things that can go wrong too.

www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/0954930959/ref=mp_s_a_1?qid=1342777131&sr=8-1

I think people share their horror stories about bf more readily than the success stories!

I bf 2 of my 3 girls (and expressed for tube fed DD2) for up to 13 months and found it so much easier than FF (probably because I'm fundamentally lazy and bfing is generally so much less hassle!) The first couple of weeks were slightly uncomfortable, but got much easier very quickly.

I never had cracked nipples, didn't need nipple cream or shields, wore pretty and comfy feeding bras, got used to discreetly feeding anywhere and everywhere - once you get the hang of it you can feed and people think baby is just having a cuddle

My babies rarely screamed as I fed them as soon as they needed it so no waiting to make bottles. They weren't constantly attached (we had a few weeks of cluster feeding in the evenings but it was a good excuse to sit on the sofa with tea, cake and the remote control!) and I didn't have to pay any attention to how much they were getting as I knew they had plenty as they were weeing, pooing, growing and contented. If we went out or away I didn't have to worry about did I have enough bottles, sterilising, could I get the right formula etc.

I would say give it a go, you have nothing to lose and lots to gain! Arm yourself with information, get the numbers of bf support workers and obviously MN will give you loads of advice

Oh gosh! Don't not BF because of horror stories. I had a hard time but lots of women don't. I'd say the majority have a few teething problems, get through them and go on to really enjoy it.

Unless you are really lucky you may have to push through a bit - but if doing it is compromising your mental health, or too difficult with having another child to look after (that's what scuppered DC2 for me; it might have been possible if she'd been my first and I had nothing else to do all day than sit around BFing and trying to crank up my supply!) then I'd say quit. Your SureStart will hopefully have a support clinic (ours is on during the weigh-ins, so easy to talk to someone then if you need to sort out any niggles). Also, ask your HV/MW to check your baby early for tongue-tie. DD's wasn't spotted until about 4-5 weeks, by which time I'd had to start topping up.

You have FF so you know what you are doing if BF doesn't work out.

Definitely recommend going along to a breastfeeding cafe / support group or similar before baby arrives - you can get support from trained people and from other mums who have breastfed.

It isn't a walk in the park for everyone - just from threads here you can see a lot of the challenges mums face - but I recommend being as informed as possible, seeking support if you need it, spend time feeding with other mums to build your confidence feeding out and about, and persevering because it does get easier. DS is now 12 weeks - I found breastfeeding hard going early on (even without any real problems), but now it is so easy and I never have to worry about remembering to take bottles/powder/scoops etc out with me.

No experience of this myself, but I understand there are other things you can do if baby is a bottle refuser when you go back to work.

I'm Bfding my DS who's now 19 weeks and it was a bumpy start, but honestly the best thing I've ever perservered with. i have Mumsnet to thank mainly for my perserverance in the hard days.

The main difficulty I had was that DS wouldn't latch, so I had to express and cup feed for the first week, he then latched using nipple shields for 3 weeks which wasn't ideal (you need to make sure they don't affect your supply etc.) but gave DS time to learn how to feed off me. we weaned off nipple shields week 5, went through the 'painful' first stage and by 6/7 weeks it's been absolutely 100% hassle free. No sterlising, DS cries less as putting him on the boob whether it's for food or comfort stops him immediately, it's FREE etc. etc.

Yes, be ready and armed for people from a differenct generation giveing you unsage advice re 4 hourly feeding/not enough milk/never being able to put them down etc. I did feed DS pretty much constantly for the first 4 weeks, but he needed it, and it helped me build u a really good supply. Read a book so that you can have answers to them and hold your head high.

And despite what leaflets say, I think for a lot of people there IS a pain barrier to get through. You shouldn't be geting sore, and you shouldn't be in pain for the whole feed but some tow curling at the beginning of a feed is par for the course for a lot of people. My breastfeeding support worker said that it would hurt for the first 20 sucks, then a few days later the first 10 sucks, then after that the first 5 until one day (after a week or so) you'll latch them on and it won't hurt one bit.

Hope that helps - good luck :)

Good luck. I am sure there are good bit and bad bits involved with FF and BF, and I am NOT about to join that debate.

You asked for my experience - here it is.

I bf my 2 DS, and found it pretty easy. Sure it was a bit painful for a couple of weeks while my nips got used to it.. But it was worth it knowing I was doing the best for the baby. The pain very soon stopped, but of course it came back again when teeth grew. I yelled at them and put on a cross face, and the biting soon stopped. I didn't have constant screaming or attachment. You don;t need to worry about how much they are getting so long as they are growing well and are weeing and pooing. It is SO easy not to have to figure out bottles etc when you are going out, and to be able to respond quickly if the baby is hungry. I personally could not have done with having to faff about with a bottle when there is a hungry baby to be fed..

I did get mastitis a few times at the start, but Dr gave me anti-bs and it went away very quickly each time.

Be determined to do it, that's my tip. I had decided to do it and I stuck to my guns. Luckily I had a very good local cottage hospital with a 4 bed maternity unit, which only had me in it, the days I was in with DS1, so had two midwives all to myself who were FAB with helping me get started feeding. There was also a great bf counsellor who was at all the baby weighing sessions to help everyone. She helped with the latch a few times at the start. Sometimes when they were having a growth spurt my milk didn;t seem to be enough, and they wanted feeding more often, I was tempted to try to go onto bottles, but I just fed more and the milk soon increased again. They woudn't take a bottle anyway. Have you tasted formula? barf! I didn't blame them.

I was told to drink LOTS and LOTs of water and eat a broad diet including plenty of protein. An extra cup of water a day was NOT enough I needed pints extra, and ate loads of things like shepherds pie, spag bog etc. I had LOADS of milk..but I didn't lose any weight!!!

eerr what else? It's FREEEE!!!!!

I NEVER had an issue with feeding the baby away from home. Never got a single comment or look. It was perfectly possible to feed very discretely by lifting my top UP rather than pulling it down.

With DS1, I went back to work at 6 months too, but I did manage to express quite a bit of milk for three months at work. Twice a day to start with, and then down to once. I used to have to dash to the medical room ( big comany) to express if a meeting went on a bit long as I felt I was about to explode. We had a freezer I could store the milk in till home time. However my Mum who was looking after him for me said he only took a bit of milk from a sippy cup anyway - most of my milk got thrown away. But he was on solids by then anyway so the milk was not so desperately important. Anyway he carried on growing like weeds and took water from a sippy cup, so it was fine. I carried on bf at night and before and after work till they were a year (plus) old.

DS1 weaned very easily at 1 year old. Literally something like 5 seconds of crying. He was only feeding at waking up time then, so we just distracted him with breakfast and he was fine. DS2 was a bit more determined. I only managed to stop at 18 mnths with him and there were a few more tears. I had really had enough by then though.

Give it a good go - what have you got to lose?

bf all three of mine til they were a year. I found it really easy, but I know others who didn't
pros for me:
could go anywhere with no bottles, no time limit, no worries.
felt smug that it was healthy
middle of the night could feed half asleep, no screaming baby while you get bottle ready
no last thing at night getting fomula and bottles washed and ready for next day

cons:
no-one else could take over to give you a break (unless you master expressing which is a whole nother topic!)
with ds I produce loads of milk all the time and leaked a lot, so invested in thousands of breast pads

For me the key was getting into a rhythm where the baby took a complete feed, so they were full, and then didn't demand til next feed. This looked different for all 3, ds fed lots and quickly, dd1 fed 20 mins, rested 5 minutes, fed 20 minutes, and then was done (she sped up after about 3 weeks).
also all mine went 3 hours and no more (bottle babies can go longer)

ds started doing demand every 1/2 hour in the evenings and I found some advice which said express a couple of ounces in the morning, and when they start doing that in the evening, feed them and then top them up with the bottle of expressed milk. That really worked for ds, never needed it for the others.

I loved it, found it easy, never got major nipple problems, and 2 of my dc went throught the night at a couple of months. I would really encourage you to have a go. You never know how it will be until you've tried it!

bf babies scream constantly - not true

babies constantly attached - this is quite true at first, you have to do a fair bit of chilling out while you sit under the baby. Consider this an advantage :)

feeding outdoors - the ease with which you can feed when out and about is a huge positive

don't know how much their getting - you don't need to know, another big plus

painful - it can be at first when you are just getting used to it

I would say as an experienced mother of 6 years standing you should have all the confidence to do it. I found it hard first time, but I had just no clue what had hit me. You will be doing it all for the second time, with just one new thing.

Breastfeeding is great - perfect food, perfect temperature, perfect amount, perfect container right there for the baby whenever it wants, free of charge.

Best of luck :)

I went back at 3.5 months first time and just expressed. It was no bother.

oh with regard to bottle refusing, when I weaned mine they had water etc in sippy cup, so never really had bottles.
At 1 year I started giving milk cows milk in sippy/open cup, and once they got used to it, just slowly cut out feeds.

Wow, thanks for sharing all your stories doesn't matter if they are positive or negative just the fact that they are real experience and not what your mothers uncles cousin said 20 years ago helps!

Athinginyourlife I should have the confidence after 6 years but dp and I were fearless teenagers last time more we know about the sleepless nights we are like rabbits in headlights hence why I'm trying to gather information now :o

ItsAllGoingToBeFine said it for me. The Food of Love was absolutely invaluable. I read it from cover to cover while I was pregnant and referred to it a lot after DS was born.

It really helps to be as informed as possible beforehand. You'll know some of the 'advice' people give you is bollocks for a start.

I found bf very easy and convenient. I would not have been organised enough to bottle feed! Its different for everyone and if you try it and don't like it then switch to the bottle.

I started weaning him at 13 months ready to go back to work at 14 months, people kept telling me that i'd never do it in that time but I gave him some squash (for the first time) and he never wanted me again!!! (But I should have switched to water after a week because now he won't drink water)

Its so different for everyone, but as other people have said people don't talk about their good experiences.

bf babies scream constantly - some do. my first did. 2nd one? sleeps a LOT, very content baby. no difference between feeding methods!

babies constantly attached - in the early days, yes - but it means more sitting down, cuddling, and recovering for you. and, with a laptop well positioned, more MN time :o (have a baby attatched to me as I type this with one hand)

feeding outdoors - so easy to do, you can never run out of milk or forget to pack the food for a breastfed baby!!

don't know how much their getting - if they look happy, grow well, fill plenty of nappies, you don't need to know. plus which, you need never worry about overfeeding them!

painful - initially, yes, it can be. this is why god gave us Lansinoh :o but once those early days are over, it is lovely, warm, comforting, and easy to cuddle up your baby whilst they nurse. and you can justify eating lots of chocolate and cake to help you make milk. win win :o

I think the thing is - people who BF happily are so worried about being called "smug" that they tend not to mention it was as easy as falling off a log (which it was for me with DD1. Hoping currently-in-utero DD2 is as easy!) So all you're left with are the horror stories!

Pain-wise - letdown can be a bit sharp at first (it fades as your boobs get used to it). On your nipples it can feel a bit like sunburn at first - they're not used to the pressure. Then they get used to it too. Really unpleasant nipple pain means latching problems - there will be a drop-in near you. Find out when it's on so you know what you'll do if you are in that position. I didn't need any help but I found my list of dropins very reassuring.

I have breastfed both my girls. I got a bit engorged at the start with DD1 and had a mild bit of oversupply (solved by lounging back a bit to feed for a few days - nothing major). That's it.

However, I rarely talk about breastfeeding unless people specifically asked about my experiences because I don't want to sound smug amongst people who may have had problems (and unfortunately it can be such an emotional issue that sometimes people do think it is smug) and, well, quite frankly that's not a very interesting story is it? I suspect that there are a lot of people like me out there and you aren't getting a balanced picture. It's a bit like labour - people like to tell you the horror stories.

I also think breastfeeding requires a bit of a shift in attitude if you have previously bottle fed or come from a family which always had. The baby probably will feed more often - you will rarely get a bf baby going four hours, and often not three. But this is balanced by feeding being so easy once you get the hang of it. I think total time 'dealing with feeding' is probably a good deal less after the first few weeks (I wonder if anyone has ever done a study?). Similarly the 'how much are they getting' thing is an attitude point. Formula companies convinced people that this was information we needed to know- and so many people feel uneasy if they don't know. But really there is no need to know- as long as you feed on cue and things are going well, you can trust your baby to take what they need. The sleep thing is another similar one - my DD's are rubbish sleepers (runs in the family, regardless how you feed them). They might feed a bit more in the night, but I don't have to get out of bed, turn on the lights, and have all those hormones to get me soundly back to sleep afterwards.

I guess what I am trying to say is that a lot of what some people will tell you is bad about bf is actually just different and it is about working out which suits you and your family best.

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

I think the best thing you can do is go in with an open mind. If it works, great; if it doesn't, it's OK. I think so many women beat themselves up if BF doesn't go the way they hoped it would.

When I had DS1 I told myself I would try it & see. He latched beautifully about an hour after birth. Painful until my nipples hardened up but nothing major. He fed for HOURS though. Every 3 hours for an hour a time day and night. It was the Beijing Olympics & I ended up watching a lot of the live coverage at daft AM in bed to keep me awake! We battled through growth spurts and he self-weaned at 18 months.

I became very passionate about BF and was doing the La Leche League BF Peer Support Training when I found out I was expecting DS2. Same thing again, latched straight away, no major issues. However he was a far far bigger cluster feeder in the evenings - basically until they're 6-8 weeks old they can often feed a lot between 6-9pm to help them go a little longer between feeds. He used to sleep downstairs in his bouncer and I would latch him on/off as necessary! He was more lazy about his latch and I had to really work at it, but again we got there and at almost 12 months he is still BF.

No mastitis, no major pain, cracks, weight loss or issues. DS1 used to gain 16-18oz a week on nothing but breast milk. I have been truly, truly blessed. That's not to say its been easy, it's a labour of love both times & at times I've cursed it to high heaven. But I'd never change my decision.

My top tips is support, support, support. Kellymom is brilliant and find your local BF support group who will gladly see you antenatally. Try to ignore the horror stories. Get your DP/DH on board he can help by getting you drinks & food, winding baby afterwards etc. Be prepared to spend a lot of the first 6 weeks on the couch!