4 week old still feeding every 4 hours - ????

[StarlightWithAsteroid]

I took my 4 week old to a wedding at the weekend, and was regularly being asked if he was still being fed every 4 hours by older people who have had kids a younger who have not.

I was a bit alarmed at HOW MANY asked this. Sure they didn't 'actually' care but how is it still considered a reasonable question?

4 hours???? Lucky if I get 4 minutes between feeds.

It depresses me the amount of work that needs to be done to challenge assumptions.

Bizarre! Ask them if they tend to eat or drink at least every 4 hours.

i have a very well practiced smile and nod whenever someone offers me bonkers advice about bf.

sometimes i do challenge, but sometimes it's really not worth the fight.

great to be a flag waver for BF when and if you want to, but sometimes it's easier just to get on with it as there are some people's whose minds can never be changed.

i agree it can be depressing, but there's nothing more lovely than when you meet someone who asks genuinely interested questions, or other people who've come up to me when i'm feeding DS in public and told me it's wonderful to see a mum bf.

and you're absolutely right - 4 hours between feeds for a 4 week old is far too long. it does settle into different patterns later on, but you're right to demand feed.

It's a ridiculous question. My SIL was of the Gina Ford school of thinking and would feed her poor DD every 3 hours, at given times of the day. If the poor child was hungry before 3 hours, that was tough, because her routine said she shouldn't be.

I suppose too I had some issues with the fact that so many friends and family obviously don't appreciate how DEMANDING it is at the moment.

No-one actually said this but from their obvious non-understanding I perceived their judgement on feeding 'yet again' regularly.

I still have my bf notebook in DD's babybox, me being a bit anal and all that .

And at 4 weeks DD was fed at 00:50, 03:50, 04:15, 08:00, 09:35, 12:35, 15:25, 19:00, 19:25, 20:00 and 22:20. So certainly not a long 4 hour break between feeds, although it could have been worse.

I am suprised by the amount of people in RL who don't realise the randomness of feeding a small baby. It was drummed into us during our ante-natal classes.

Perhaps it is because I travelled 300 miles with 3 kids 5 and under stopping at every service station on the way to feed and subsequently camped for 2 nights on a site with very basic facilities desoute still bleeding, that the assumed baby was undemanding!

4 hours?! It's not even a breast/bottle thing either, surely it's fairly unusual for babies on formula to be going that long too? I still eat about every two hours during the day and I am nearly 30

Wow Meglet !

(actually might have my own pfb record somewhere)

The book goes up to 3 months and recorded what side she fed from and how long they took .

Actually, a lady I work with had her DD's in the 1990's and she said she had to feed them on a strict 3 hour schedule and said it was so hard to stick to it. She was amazed (and happy) that these days babies were bf on demand.

TheMystery,

I think I was just a bit upset that my world was so misunderstood. It"s hard work bfing on demand in a culture with so little allowance for it!

Starlight - you might find this interesting (it's an analysis of feeding studies from a different perspective and done in the 1970s) it discusses (the) two styles of bfing - unrestricted breastfeeding and token breastfeeding and how token breastfeeding limits bfing duration and intensity. Does shine a light on how some people think bfing should be undertaken!

Having said this, DC2 spent the first week of his life on a neonatal ward, fed through a tube every 3 hours. This seemed to 'programme' him because when I could actually breastfeed him properly, he only wanted feeding every 3 hours, and would be done in about 5 mins. Which made life much easier!

Honestly, on the way back from said wedding I took the train so I could feed as often as required and DH could get my two other kids home via the motorway without stoping every services.

So at the weekend I fed:
In the car, on a boat, in a wedding service, at a restaurant, on a boat, on a stage, on a bouncy castle castle, in a wigwam, on a train, on the victoria line, on the 371 bus, on the STAIRS of the 65 bus, in a tent, in a barn, at a disco, on a platform and at a ceilidh!!!!

People kept commenting 'is he hungry AGAIN?' or 'is he not a very calm baby?'

He's 4 weeks old and I KNOW that it is unusual that he has never gone more than 20mins without a feed but why not congratulate me rather than make me feel critisised!? Not their fault really but

Truth, that is a very interesting article, particularly given the date and how little we appear to have moved forward.

Did you get anywhere with the tongue tie appointment ?

Aren't people daft sometimes?. you would think they were robots or something, not babies !

Not really. I found someone who would snip but DH was so strongly against it I agreed to hold out a bit longer. I know he sounds like a pita, but it is true that after around 6 weeks with my others (in particular my ds with an even more clear case of tt) it all got a lot better.

However, the person I found can come at short notice so I have agreed with DH that we'll take one day at a time. This person suggested herself that I wouldn''t want it cut just before heading off for wedding, and has given me some advice about how to get the best out of a tt latch which has helped already.

Thank you for asking btw!

I saw the title of your post and my heart sank thinking you were a breastfeeding mum freaked out that your 4 week old was 'still' feeding every 4 hours...

Ach, honestly.... men. My bloke was the same about getting DS's done. However, DP had a speech delay as a kid so I think that eventually persuaded him to get DS's done.

You know what though, you absolutely cannot tell how badly affected, (or not) feeding-wise, the child is by looking at the tie. Insignificant ones can cause major problems and seemingly minor-looking ones can cause major probs. I saw a really nice lady called Mary Griffiths, and I so so wish I had had DS's done at home by her rather than waiting until 8 or 9 weeks and getting it done at the hospital. My poor DS turned out to have severe reflux and also a milk allergy so he would have been so much better off on the boob. By 9 weeks BF was sunk for him, despite me having fed DD until she was nearly 2. Anyway, I digress.

Do get it snipped tho if you think it's the right thing to do. It's not your DH feeding your baby after all, it's you. And honestly honestly, it is a really minor procedure. Why is he so against it? Is it the fear factor?

Starlight, the stairs?! Was he in a sling? I am only on DC1 and am still scared to feed on buses unless I can get the right seat and it's quiet. I am in awe of your advanced bfing skills, can you share tips?

However, saddened that you got all the 'hungry again?' comments...as a first time mum and first time breastfeeder I find those sort of comments, along with 'is he in a routine yet?' and 'is he sleeping through?' (or similar really knock my confidence. MN and Kellymom have been my salvation.

well done starlight on caring for your wee one so generously and skillfully

meglet- - that would be good for my dd2 and she's 20 weeks