Am I misreading the signs?

[SwivelHips]

DS is now 7wks old and I'm losing confidence with each day.

How can I tell when he is hungry as opposed to over tired? I think he gets over stimulated by his nan, DH, DSD all coming in at varying times of the day wanting a hold/play. He cries, I breastfeed, he fusses, then everyone says oh he's starving that baby and I lose confidence over how much he's actually getting from me. He doesn't sleep much in the day unless I put him in the sling and he'll sleep for hours.

Or am I just over thinking this and go with the flow?

I wouldgo with the flow for a few more weeks. Most babies settle down into more of a routine by the time they are 12 weeks. If he is weeing/pooing and gaining weight then you are giving him enough milk.He may also be using you to avoid the stresses of life......and who can blame him!!

AND/OR shut the door for 2 hours mid am and 2 hours mid afternoon to impose some quiet for you both

best wishes (my first 2 were both like this for the first couple of months and they are and were fine)

7 week old babies don't usually benefit at all from over-stimulation....holding and playing by different people, including ones who are trying to get him to look at them, or smile, or engage, when he doesn't want to, is exhausting for babies. They cannot tell you to stop! If your baby turns his head away, this is his attempt at getting the stimulation to STOP!!!! If it continues, he will get distressed and overwrought.

Your baby, your rules - tell them to stop and take him away somewhere quiet.

It's telling that he will sleep in the sling - that way he can 'switch off'.

Your family have no business undermining your choice to breastfeed with their horrible remarks about 'starving'. Can you become more assertive and say something back? Usual mumsnet suggestions include 'Gosh - when you said that it came over really rude....did you mean to be rude?'

If your baby is healthy and thriving, you are doing just fine. It's your job to be on your baby's side in all of this, and to hell with everyone else :)

Oh....and it doesn't sound for a moment that you are misreading the signs. You know from his behaviour that he does not like too much stimulation.

I think I need to get DH to listen to me, I tried to explain about over stimulation but I dont speak with any conviction alas. Its so difficult because everyone loves him and just want to spend time with him, I just want him to sleep (and yes so I can sleep too).
The BF comments (mainly from my mum) I can handle if I was more confident in understanding when he's hungry (this is easy during the night as I can hear him sucking practically) as opposed to tired. Good call re turning his head away, he also stares into space at times and I think he's trying to get away from all the rabble.

Below is some info from Kellymom about hunger cues that you might find useful. I think I was sent home from hospital with a similar list as well and had it around for a few weeks until I became more confident in recognising my DS' feeding needs.

Hope this helps.

Common infant hunger cues include:
Early

Smacking or licking lips
Opening and closing mouth
Sucking on lips, tongue, hands, fingers, toes, toys, or clothing

Active

Rooting around on the chest of whoever is carrying him
Trying to position for nursing, either by lying back or pulling on your clothes
Fidgeting or squirming around a lot
Hitting you on the arm or chest repeatedly
Fussing or breathing fast

Late

Moving head frantically from side to side
Crying

Absolutely - staring into space is another sign. Babies' brains can only take so much - they have limited 'processing' capabilities, and 'turn off' when they have reached saturation point.

A book that will help you is 'The Social Baby' www.amazon.co.uk/The-Social-Baby-Understanding-Communication/dp/1903275423/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1342703814&sr=8-1 and there is a DVD that comes with it. Maybe you and DH can watch and read together? It's an interesting and easily understandable explanation of what baby's can do, and what parents can do to support their well-being and their learning.

You need to speak firmly to your mum. 'Mum, I know you mean well and only want the best for BabySwivel....but I am struggling to find my own way here, doing the best I can because I only want the best for him too. I need to have my choice to breastfeed supported - if there was anything wrong with what I was doing, I'd see it in his health and his growth, and so would you. Please don't suggest any more that he's starving or needs something different from what I'm giving him. I am serious about this.....I won't hear any more comments.'

If you are too frightened to say this, then write it down and send it....and then challenge yourself to ponder why you as a grown up would be frightened to say this to her :)

Agree totally with other posters. Sounds like you need a bit more quiet time with your baby, don't get disheartened - you are doing the best thing for your little one. It took me a long time to get into a proper routine with breast feeding but once I did I fed my DD til she was 14 months. Mums are tough ones to deal with sometimes, they mean well but don't go about things in the best way!! Be strong and keep at it, and let people know baby needs some quiet time as his mummy, you know best! Good luck

I had a scarf that I wrapped over my shoulder and baby when I was feeding him, mainly when older male relatives came to visit. It would work well in your situation as another way of reducing the disturbance around your baby if you're trying to feedb him, so he can concentrate better on on you and feeding.

Thanks all, some good stuff here which I'll take on board.
Will check out that dvd and sit on DH and make him watch it!!
:)

Happy to help :)

DVD does not actually come with the book.

Amazon doesn't have it in.

You can get it here:

Bit expensive - maybe your dvd hire shop might have it?