Is there a way back?

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Hi - I'm new to the site and would really like some advice about breast/mixed feeding. Slightly long story but bear with me.

My son (first baby) is a week old, and I left hospital Sunday. I had a fairly long labour and was in a lot of pain afterwards from stitches, and a catheter which ripped out of my bladder and was replaced, but not very well - so a lot of trauma and bladder problems from this. So, before the birth, and just after, I really wanted to breastfeed. But I found breastfeeding before my milk came in very painful, and besides the other pain I was feeling, i just felt like it was too much (I feel really guilty about doing this now). Midwives in hospital gave a lot of advice to help me breastfeed, but I stopped and fed formula for a couple of days while I was in hospital.

Since I have been home, and my milk has come in, I have been trying to breastfeed with limited success. My son does latch, and after an initial toe-curling moment, it's not too bad. But after a few sucks, it takes pretty much constant prodding/tickling to get him to stay awake and keep feeding, and even then he often loses interest. He is always very hungry afterwards, and I have been topping him up with formula as I was advised to just get food down him (He had slight jaundice and wasn't putting weight on).

So, I'm now in a situation where the majority of his diet is formula, with breast milk when he will take it. I would really like to exclusively breast feed but I really don't know how to go back, or if there is a way back? I don't think I am producing enough or if he is taking enough to keep him healthy. Is there a way to increase the amount of milk I produce and build up to feeding just breast milk? Have i spoilt everything?

Yes - always offer breast first, start expressing after every feed to increase/maintain supply (including through the night), see if you can find a bf support group and go and get some support (not sure what I would have done without it) and stick with it!

Make yourself a comfy breast feeding nest in front of a tv and just resign yourself to spending a lot of time there, especially if he's sleepy.

It can be done, I did it. I was in hospital for 6 days, difficult birth, quite poorly etc. my ds has no latch at all as he had tongue tie and was being ff with a little expressed milk but I turned it around ( ESP after TT dealt with) - we're at 15 weeks and I don't think he's had formula for the last 10 or 11.

If he is hungry after a feed then stick him on again - its his way of increasing your supply - if in doubt, whip them out! You cannot spend too much time with your ds at your breast at this time!

Also, hold your nerve - you can't know how much bf he's getting but each time you give him ff then your telling your breasts they don't need to produce that much, so drop the ff and hold your nerve!

Well done by the way for having your snuggly, new ds, getting home and persevering with the bf - you're going to be fine!