HELP - I need some sleep what can I do??

[munz]

not sure if there's anything I can do, or if we do just have to wait till Joey finds his own patterns but at the mo, he's feeding at:

7.30 ish am
11.30ish am
2.30 ish pm
6/7pm
11/12pm
2pm
3pm
4pm

I'm only offering one boob as the m/w seems to think I have enough for 3 babies nevermind just the one! lol. the day feeds are fine it's the night ones esp when it takes an hour for him to fee/change/get back off again.

forexample last night he was up at 11 back down for 12 didn't settle till about 12.30 up at 1.50 down for 2.30 up for 3.45 then back for 4.10 then up for 7.30 and then DH took him as by this point I was nigh on suicidal, it's at teh stage I hate night times.

I love BF'ing him and the m/w is v v supportive but it feels like he's constantly on the boob.

we did try yesterday (on the advice of the m/w) to wake him ever 3 hours so he'd feed more during the day and less at night - but that appeared last night to make him worse as he was over tired i'm sure when it came to putting him down at midnight and he wouldn't go.

he's fully BF but he's gone from feeding for 15 mins and sleeping for 4 hours to this - he can't be having a growth spurt already can he?? last night it felt never ending he was constantly feeding.

Does anyone know if there's a link between the hour they were born and when they wake as he was born at 2.37am and he's always awake between 2-4 (althou he's started to nap a bit) i'm not too bothered about a routein I just want more sleep at nights! lol - it's so bad I've considered formula althou the m/w tells me that formula fed babies r the same for night times as formula's not as good as the old days?? - no idea.

we've got a good position and BF's not hurting, i've tried the not talking at night feeds, and changing only in a dim room.

also can u over feed a BF baby cos i'm sure he's having more than 4 oz per feed??

sorry for the random rants, it's just I feel i'm either failing him cos he's so hungry (althou he seetles at day) or can't stop crying cos i'm so tired evn thou i've slept for an extra 5 hours today whilst DH has had him asleep.

How old is he? Can you co-sleep? That's what got me a decent amount of sleep in the early days. Particularly if you're only offering one side per feed, co-sleeping means you wake up, stick boob in his mouth, go back to sleep. Honestly, I often wouldn't even know how many times DS2 fed in the night.

Why are you changing him? Is he still pooing all the time? Don't change him unless you have to.

Please keep night feeds boring. Don't play with him, don't turn on any more lights than you need to, etc etc.

You can't overfeed a BF baby.

Can DH take him out for a long walk in the pram in the day so you get some sleep? Are you any good at sleeping during the day?

Hi Mumz, I wouldn't have thought you could over feed a (breastfed) baby.

You soon to be doing all you can although he def. seems to be having a long gap during the day, so perhaps the midwifes are on the right track. It might be worth persuing it a bit more....

I agree with keeping the lights low, when feeding during the night and this will help in the long run as he will gradually become less used to being wakeful in the wee small hours.

I used to feed mine practically in the dark, with only a very small night light on and would just keep fuss and noise to a minimum. I wouldn't talk to them much either, but would obviously hold them close and enjoy the cuddle. I would then wind them and put them back down again in the cot whilst they were still awake and let them get themselves off to sleep.

Incidentally, with my 2nd and 3rd pregnancies, i very rarely bothered with a night time nappy change. It was far too much ussing and all that cold air around their little bums just used to wake them up even more. I would obviously change a dirty nappy, but didn't bother with the wet ones. I used disposables at night and they were more than capable of coping with new-born wee for 8 hours or so. I did use loads of sudocrem before gong to bed though!

No, you can't overfeed a b/f baby. This is information from Kellymom.com (a truly excellent BF website) about growth spurts: Common times for growth spurts are during the first few days at home and around 7-10 days, 2-3 weeks, 4-6 weeks, 3 months, 4 months, 6 months and 9 months (more or less). Babies don't read calendars, however, so your baby may do things differently.

{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}

If you need a chat you know where I am.... PLEASE dont go through this on your own xxx

Agree with DONT change him unless he is dirty.... and apply cream before bed. We do this with Becky still at 18 weeks and it DOES keep nappy rash away. (If only i had known with Jess!)

I really cant advise on the feeding bit as you well know, but formula babies can be exactly the same.... Jess was up at 1/3/5am for a good few months at the start (not to put you off) so PLEASE do NOT switch unless you are 100% SURE it's what YOU want to do.

Get DH to take him for a walk in the pram - he will sleep due to the movement regardless of when the next feed is due.

Other than that, keep calm. You are doing a FANTASTIC job, you are a FAB mummy and you CAN do this.

Love you hun xxx

keep going Munz! No you can't overfeed him, he'll know how much to take. Would it be worth expressing some so your DH could give him the 11pm feed? That way you could go to bed really early and at least bank some sleep. Sometimes we would go to bed at 9 & then DH would et up at 11pm to feed DS & although I would get disturbed I still got more sleep. Definately don't change him - see if he'll sleep with pooey nappy. Everyone has given good advice - keep night feeds boring, don't even speak to him, no light (we used a small torch just so I could see enough to get him latched on!).

Some people suggest a dummy just at night as some babies are looking for the suckling action rather than food. Maybe give it a go if he had a feed not long ago eg 3pm. There are loads of different ones - apparently you should look for one that ressembles a nipple the most.

He will sleep longer eventually & you're doing really well. i cans till remember that horrible drugged-like feeling due to lack of sleep, but it will happen. Good luck!

PS the bf also drains you physically so will be makin you feel even more tired. You need lots of water & someone to cook you some good healthy food!!! End of lecture!!

Keep going girl - you sound like you are doing all the right things. My little one is almost 6 mths and still all over the place with his sleep we have tried formula which is not what I really wanted and also tried solids a few weeks ago but I think it was too early so we are now back to B/Fs in the afternoons and nights and formula during the day as I have returned to work full time (I start very early).

Keep trying lots of fresh air and exercise - Have you tried him swimming yet? It does sometimes work for my DS we end with only one or two waking times during the night then.

thanks for the info girls, he's 9 days so possibly a growth spurt - off to bed again. i'm constantly hungry!

Jarm - no I won't be swopping just fed on the right and the left leaked nigh on 1 oz so give it a week and i'll start my own selling company! lol.
LO's just fed for an hour and half. not constant but pretty much.

we change him when he's dirty but not normally for a pee unless he's done as he did this morning and gone all up his leg! the m/w said to change him half way thru to wake him back up again - which is what we've been doing but then he'll feed for another 30 mins or so as he did just then. god only knows where the boy's putting it all!

I did try a dummy - sorry jarm! lol, and erm well he spat it back out not intrested at all! so guess that's not a bad thing!

Oops sorry I may have put you off by telling you we are still not settled after 6 mths. It does sound like a growth spurt - get through this and you will be fine! You don't seem to have any problems producing - try expressing and freeze some for the future. Even if you don't use it straight away it will keep for the future months.

Good luck I hope all goes well.

XXX

Munz - my ds was like this. His feeding was so contstant that for him to go an hour without being on the boob was a miracle. I just let him get on with it and all of a sudden one day he was able to go longer and longer between feeds. I think it took around 8 weeks - don't worry it will pass in a flash.

I did co-sleeping and after a while ds even managed to latch himself on if he fell off during the feed. I got a fair amount of sleep that way.

Stick in there - it is soooo worth it.

Dont worry about the dummy hun.... jeez - both mine have them, but I persevered with them! (Im cruel i know... both of mine spat them out to start with, but soon took to them after me shoving it back in!) ALso, Becky prefers to suck her fingers anyway, so only has it to settle to sleep and spits it out as soon is she is out cold!

Things will get better, remember, keep the excess milk - may come in handy for the odd bottle of EBM for DH to give you a break xxx

Hello there
Sorry to hear you are having such a tough time. Nothing prepares you for this - and sometimes you feel you want to crawl onto the floor and pass out. But, it will pass.

If it's any help:

• mine took about 30mns per boob in the first couple of weeks. By about 8-9 weeks, he started clearing a boob in about 7mns during the night (when there was less to distract him). At the mo', I'm still getting up to feed him (never got to grips with co-sleeping!) but I can usually be back in my bed within 15mns. Yours will get more efficient with practice, and as his tummy grows he will be able to take on more of your lovely milk and go longer between feeds.

• so your little one understands the difference between night and day, make sure you avoid eye contact & don't talk to him during night feeds; dress him in day clothes during daylight hours, and babygros etc at night; start a bedtime routine if you haven't already - the usual is bath, quiet cuddle & boob in a darkened room (with quiet music if you like), a kiss, and then let him grizzle to sleep. The sooner he can settle himself at bedtime, the sooner he will resettle himself after your nighttime feeds - leaving you to get back to sleep yourself. [We didn't do "controlled crying" from 2 weeks, but we did put him to bed at 7pm from then (the first 2 weeks he sat on my lap in the lounge, but he was still crying, so we figured it made more sense to be trying to settle him upstairs anyway). He took about 1.5-2 hours to settle in the first 2-3 weeks. We would go back to comfort him if he was going mental, but if he was 'grizzling' we'd let him. Now I can put him down awake at 7, and he just goes to sleep in about 2 minutes, so it was worth it, although we found it really hard at the time. It's something you might want to think about.]

• wet nappies with loads of barrier cream won't hurt; ours goes from 7pm to 7am in the same nappy - unless he poos - then it's DH's job to haul his sleepy butt out of bed. It's his contribution to the breastfeeding...

• Looking at your feed times, your baby is going a long time without a feed between 2.30pm and 6/7pm. This shows that your little one can go for 4.5 hours without a feed - it's just that he's doing it at the wrong time of the day (for you!). I know that Gina Ford says don't feed them after 3pm or summat like that, but I've always encouraged DS to 'cluster feed' in the late afternoon/evening - e.g. a feed at 2.30pm, one at 4.30pm and one at 6pm. That way, DS fuels up for the night, and his longest stretch is from 6.30-11pm/12am. If I really needed to sleep, DH could offer the 11pm/12am feed in a bottle, and I could go to bed at 9pm and get 6 hours until my services were required at 3am. If you are producing so much milk, you might find expressing easier than some (although it takes a bit of practice).

• At 14 weeks, DS still wakes at 11pm and 3am for feeds, but you just have to ignore all those parents who claim their kids slept through at a month. Your little one will only be little for a short time. Hard to enjoy it when you're sleep deprived, but try to cling onto that fact when things feel awful.

• Make sure your partner does his share. If you were bottle feeding, it would be loads more faff for him too - so he can help out with shopping, cooking, telling you what a fab job you are doing (you are!), minding baby whilst you have a relaxing bath and so on.

HTH.

well better night last night Joey feed again at 9pm then 10pm then 12pm (DH did offer him a bottle of formula as I was sooo knackered and getting distressed with him but the LO took 2oz then spat 1oz up and puked the other out as well so guess that answers that, he woke about 10 mins later for a feed again so on the boob he went for 20 mins and then I slept with him on the bed between two pillows - managed to get 5 hours b4 a feed then 4 after the feed.

he seems to sleep better on the bed between two pillows but I don't want to start that one so instead i've put a soft blanket under him in the crib with two towels rolled up either side - fingers crossed it's so far working!

have tried the day clothes thing now. and will also start on the bed time routein perhaps we'll go from 7.30 or 8.

also didn't change his nappy at all last night, so he deffo need to be changed this morning! lol. still it didn't bother him and he fed real well at 5 (for an hour) fingers crossed things will get better - and least I feel more human today! (also avoided eye contact and didn't talk to him - just woke him up every now and again)

thanks for all ur tips/advice.