Even the bf clinic is baffled!

[Softlysoftly]

Think tonight is the night I give dd2 a ff top up, after seven weeks of literally no sleep last night took me to breaking point of sleeping only 7am-8am, yes one whole hour!

Took dd2 to bf group/clinic for some moral support weeping into my tea, they looked at her feeding pattern which is basically constant unless in the car asleep and said she must not be getting enough so is snacking and unsettled, plus only pooing every two days.

Then they weighed her, big shocks she's put on nearly a pound, so ok she is getting milk. They observed a feed latch is fine she came away milk drunk deep asleep. Ok so that's fine. I then lay her down, we try swaddling, cutching in with pillows etc nope the second she moves she's alert and crying hungry. Even the fricking consultant is but she's full? Yes welcome to my life. So no advice other than try and get DH to hold her (which he can't as she screams for anyone but me).

She then finished me off tonight by not letting even the car send her to sleep so I'm done, I have to try something new and a ff it is :(.

Not sure why im posting this other than to vent. :(

hi softly, my ds was exactly the same. if he went to sleep anywhere but in my arms it was a miracle! he grew out of it. we coslept which saved me but if you can't then suggest a bedside cot, and I was going to say dummy but if that's not working then you poor sausage. I really really sympathise because I've been there. at the time it seems horrendous but honestly I can hardly remmeber it now, 4 years later. good luck.

your dh sounds awesome, mine did the same for me once.

Formula is not poison and it could give you enough rest to be able to cope with this.

BlameIt, a large percentage (50% or 60% I think) of reflux is caused by baby being allergic yeti cows' milk protein, either via the mum's breastmilk (like my dc3) or formula. I have been dairy-free since dc3 was 10 weeks and the difference is remarkable: skin no longer red and spotty but soft and creamy, no longer congested and snuffly, more alert and responsive and smiley. Worth considering for a baby with reflux symptoms!

Dd was the same. Co sleeping, with her on a tilted pillow as she had reflux, and a dummy got us through the first 6 months.

You have to teach them to hold the dummy in their mouth at
that age. Orthodontic dummy, touch it against roof of mouth to stimulate latch, then gently hold it in her mouth with one finger ever as she'll keep popping it out. Takes a few days but she'll be much happier with it.

Oh, I have one of those! It was like the moses basket was electrified, we tried swaddling, hot water bottles, keeping a hand on her back, patting, nothing worked. We accepted in the end that I had to hold her while she slept, and I still do during the day at 4 months, or she's in the sling.

We used to co-sleep and go to bed at the same time but when she hit 3 months we got a bedside cot and I fed her to sleep, by lying half in it, and extracted myself carefully and got away. She slept for 5 hours and only woke once more in the night.

This carried on until recently damn you 4 month sleep regression but I am still able to feed to sleep and leave until she stirrs, quick boob in mouth and she easily settles back.

This week my DH managed to put her down after I fed her to sleep downstairs .

If It's just that your baby is high maintenance, like mine, it will get better and easier- promise!

It's pretty normal for babies to only feel safe sleeping with their mum - after all, if she sleeps on/with you, she knows where her next meal is coming from ...

Not read the whole thread and I'm sure bf zealots will flame me. But I mix fed dd from day 3 because she was poorly and not getting milk and losing weight etc. I was so upset and felt like a failure.

At the time a friend told me that not only should I not feel bad - it didn't mean I loved my child any less plus what a baby needs most of all is a) to be fed and b) to have a sane mummy - but that I'd probably mix feed baby number two through choice. She's right - am pg again and this time we mix from as soon as colostrum finished. Because dh and my mum doing occasional bottle feed was a godsend. And because I know enough bf babies who then refuse bottle and end up being bf way longer than mums want to.

Oh, and we partially bf until 16 mo so it needn't stop you carrying on if you want to.

My dd1 was like this. The only time she slept was in the car/sling/pram which meant i never slept. People would say sleep when she sleeps, but how could i when i was driving, pounding the streets or had her strapped to me. As soon as the car stopped or got in with the pram her eyes would ricochet open and she'd be back on the boob.

It sounds like she can only sleep in you, feeding etc. i used to pin my hopes on the next stage, when she's weaned she'll sleep, when she crawls, when shes walking. It didnt, i just had a velco baby. By all means try formula so someone can give you a break but try not to pin your hopes on it being the cureall you want.

I did have success with a robopax dream machine though. A platform that you put the carseat/pram/moses basket on and it rocks it. They were on sale on amazon last week. It really saved me because i could keep dd in motion and sleep!!!

My dd2 is now five months and we've had periods of her clamped on like a limpet but i get through it by remembering its a short phase and it does get easier the more they grow. You're doing a fantastic job to have carried on bf this long, dont lose sight of that in this newborn haze.

yellowflowers I don't think anyone is going to flame you for that at all.

personally i think that if baby is a very sucky baby or is using the breast as a way of soothing discomfort that formula/bottle feeding won't change that at all.

there is no guarantee that she will sleep longer just because she has some formula, although if the OP tries it and it works and she is happy with that then clearly that's great!

what we need to remember is that this isn't necessarily anything to do with milk! babies like to breastfeed for many reasons and the OP's daughter sounds as though she needs the comfort of sucking right now for whatever reason.

It was like the moses basket was electrified Such a good way of describing it!

My first would only sleep on me ... dd4 would only sleep in her amby hammock - which has them more upright and enclosed.

You might not find ff is the answer

I agree, the milk thing sounds like a red herring. She's obviously full and it's you she wants which is quite normal.

My eldest was like this and the thing that did settle him in the end was when we let him sleep on his tummy. I know you've already said about the SIDS concern and obviously I was worried about it too. We ended up buying one of those monitors that are motion sensitive which meant I could relax if he was asleep like that. I tried it as a friend had suggested it - the first time he slept like that was for a nap and I remember watching him breathe for the whole 45 minutes (and being utterly amazed that he was staying asleep).

Firstly I think you are doing an amazing job. I'd would have lost my hair by now if I were you.

My first was a sucky baby, feed continuously, didn't sleep during the day and when he was awake but not on the boob he cried. Blame the tongue tie and lactose intolerance. Oh, and he put on between 0.5 and 1.0 lb a week so the health visitor said there was absolutely nothing wrong. Giving him a dummy and lactose free formula changed him into a different baby who actually smiled and slept during the day. But I didn't make the change until I went back to work at 12 weeks. I'd try a dummy - I hated the idea but my god what a saver they can be. If I hadn't been going back to work I perhaps would have tried altering my diet and continuing to bf but I'd had enough by then !

Has anybody who knows what they are doing checked for tongue tie?

The constant feeding is a sign of tt, as is the big weight gain (some tt babies don't latch deep enough and only get the lactose rich foremilk which can cause excessive weight gain apparantly), poor sleep is also a sign of tt, as is falling asleep at the breast.

have a look here

Thanks all, well I spent today at my SIL's wedding as was so tired at the end I cried at everything buggeration!

To pps don't get me wrong DD1 was mix then exclusively ff and she's a happy little monkey so not anti, I'm just wary as she got so used to the bottle and rejected me so I don't want to risk it yet.

Noone has checked for tounge tie, trying to get hold of a la leche leader to ask some RL questions.

How do you test for allergies? She is very spotty and sniffly!

I am becoming more convinced she's just a mini limpet and DH has a few long nights ahead of him now he's shown it can work!

Re how you test for allergies, I'd start off by eliminating key allergens from you own diet and seeing whether that affects her. I remember going milk free for two weeks when dd was about 3 months old and the change was incredible. For some reason, I still didn't put two and two together at that point... Try getting rid of dairy for two weeks and see if it makes a difference.

I had one like that. A motorised swing (known lovingly in our house as the 'electric chair') on full tilt at least allowed only one parent to be involved in staying up and the other one got some rest. Only the fastest, highest setting worked though. And the dreaded 'Home on the Range' tune!
Good luck in simply surviving. I got so tired I couldn't remember DS1's name! It does get better though and now he's the most placid, happy, thoughtful nine year old you could ever hope to meet. A few weeks will make an enormous difference although it may seem like a lifetime to you as I say it.
You're doing so well. Be proud of yourself.