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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

How to celebrate EBF for six months?

157 replies

FreelanceMama · 13/07/2012 21:22

Yesterday I had an email from someone congratulating me for having breastfed my baby for six months (come 25th July). I hadn't thought about it much until then but actually it's pretty mind-blowing that my little boy has eaten/drunk nothing but breastmilk for half a year. It's not always been easy but I do think I've been lucky compared to some of my friends' experiences.

It didn't occur to me to celebrate it until the email came and now I'm wondering what would be an appropriate way to do so? We'll be starting baby-led weaning soon so I'll be carrying on for the foreseeable future but I'm always up for some form of self-indulgence Smile. Especially as I'm practically teetotal and limiting caffeine while breastfeeding!

Any ideas? Either genuine or comic. So far, I've thought that my partner and baby should feed me for a day - breakfast in bed, lunch out, takeaway...

OP posts:
Tangointhenight · 15/07/2012 21:26

You have done well, but I can see how this has rubbed some people up the wrong way, at the end of the day any mother who has made it to 6 months with their nerves in tact, breast or bitter feeding, derserves to be pampered, not just the breast feeding ones. I'm sorry but it's things like this which portray breast feeders as smug IMO even if they don't mean to be. I breastfed for 6 weeks, I wasn't proud of it, maybe I'd be proud if I made it to 6 months or maybe I'd just feel like it was a normal natural thing to do like keeping my daughter clean and loved.

Tangointhenight · 15/07/2012 21:27

Sorry that was bottle not bitter feeding!

tiktok · 15/07/2012 21:27

Blimey, I have just seen I was deleted!

From memory this is what I said:

" BlackSwan, that's unpleasant and nasty. Why would you want to piss on someone's chips like that? The OP is not saying she is a hero, and she's not boasting - she says she's 'lucky".

OP, it's great you feel happy about this, and I think your idea of celebrating is lovely - do it with champagne!"

I am not sure who reported me. and why MN would think I was out of order - but there we are :)

EauRouge · 15/07/2012 21:28

Why that would be deleted and not one of the nastier posts, I don't know Hmm

tutu100 · 15/07/2012 21:31

I'd say celebrate with an extra long feed and a big box of choccies for you! Well done on feeding for 6 months. I remember being amazed when my ds2 hit 6 months and thinking my body had provided everything he needed to grow through pregnancy and beyond. I actually felt a bit sad once we started weaning him as I felt I couldn't take all the credit for his growth anymore!

tiktok · 15/07/2012 21:32

I can't imagine why, either,, EauRouge. 'Tis a mystery.

Hmm
TCOB · 15/07/2012 21:36

Well done OP!

How amazing that we, 'the BFing Nazis,' are not even able to feel good about BFing without others taking this as a reflection on their own feeding choices. It would take someone with real issues to think this thread is about anything other than a woman feeling really great about her own choice.

I'm totally proud of feeding my DD for two years and don't give a flying fook who finds my delight offensive. I couldn't care less how other mothers choose to feed their kids and surely only a total egomaniac could see an intended slight in the happiness of someone else.

FFers - happy with your own choice? Good for you. Now stop criticising others who've done things differently and we can all play nicely.

Chubfuddler · 15/07/2012 21:39

Again with the assumption that anyone who finds this a bit "meh" is a bitter ff. I'm not. Just repressed.

Tangointhenight · 15/07/2012 21:41

TCOB not everyone is free to make a choice and that's why it hurts some people to hear things like this, it rubs salt in a very open wound hence the less congratulatory posts. And it's an open forum so as much as op has the right to post, others have the right to comment on her post.

igggi · 15/07/2012 21:43

Hmm. I'm bf ds at the moment, not feeling smug at all but thinking, would ff be easier on me than what I've had to cope with in these 8 short weeks of life (expressing for poor weight gain, mastitis, blisters, and finally thrush)? - damn right it would be.
So if we get to 6 months I will be celebrating.

tiktok · 15/07/2012 21:43

Tango, genuine question: why does someone feeling happy about bf to 6 mths come across as 'smug' to you ? You do say you are aware she does not intend to. She is happy in her choice and happy that it worked out well for her - and this is 'smug'???

We can celebrate 'normal natural' things like caring for our babies - keeping them clean and loved, which is your example. I suppose keeping baby 'clean' is not so noteworthy :) but a mother might well want to celebrate half a year of loving her baby....why not?

shinecrazydiamond · 15/07/2012 21:45

I have no strong views on either side tbh... but the OP made me cringe a bit purely because it's so....earnest.

igggi · 15/07/2012 21:46

Thing is Tango it's the same for posts about being pregnant (as so many of us struggled with that) or fighting with a partner when others have lost theirs etc etc. In rl you'd be selective about who you said what in front of, which we can't do on mumsnet so I suppose that causes problems.

tiktok · 15/07/2012 21:47

Tango, you are right - the 'choice' is not open to everyone, and actually the majority of women who stop bf before 6 mths did not want to. But you might as well say celebrating the birth of child rubs salt in the wound of everyone with fertility problems, or people who have miscarried, or had a stillbirth.....and these celebrations can hurt people who have had these very sad things happen to them.

But that's not a reason to suggest the 'lucky ones' stop celebrating.

nethunsreject · 15/07/2012 21:50

Good on you, OP.

Do something nice for yourself.

I am really rather Sad and Shock at some of the vitriol on this thread.

maples · 15/07/2012 21:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tangointhenight · 15/07/2012 21:53

Well I agree tik tok, but all I'm saying is that breast feeding is probably the most contentious issue on mn or any mums forum I've been on, it's not surprising that not everyone is handing out balloons and champagne,
I'm not saying that op shouldn't celebrate, but as I said in my previous post all mums should celebrate, not just the breast feeding ones. FF may be perceived as the easy option to those who haven't done it, but it's not.

ILoveDolly · 15/07/2012 21:57

Well done you, me, everyone who managed to ebf for 6 months. Saying we shouldn't celebrate doing something great, hard, worthwhile because it marginalises those who did not do the same as us for whatever reason is sour grapes! EBF rocks and so do you OP. Now get out the brocolli sticks and let the mayhem commence x x x

TheSurgeonsMate · 15/07/2012 21:57

maples I think that's optimistic. People will open threads they know they'll hate. I once started a thread in Geeky Stuff called Parenting Tip For Gamers and got replies from people who disapproved of gaming. I was reminded of it because the OP has chosen an equally exemplary title for her thread and had a similar fail in finding the people she hoped to reach!

tiktok · 15/07/2012 21:58

Not an answer to my question, Tango, sorry.

"why does someone feeling happy about bf to 6 mths come across as 'smug' to you ?"

I suppose the 'agenda' in my question is a notion that the interpretation comes solely from inside the heart and the feeling of others who feel the choice to celebrate was not open to them....the mother herself is not 'smug' but 'happy', and that it's unfair and churlish to criticise her for expressing her happiness.

CoronationWigeon · 15/07/2012 21:58

Well done OP! Smile. Like the idea of someone else, eg DH, feeding you all day, as your celebration!

Other people might celebrate for all sorts of achievements which we personally might have found easy (eg someone painfully shy managing to speak to a group of strangers), or which we had no inclination to do in the first place (eg compete in and win a 5K race), or which we tried but couldn't do (eg passed their grade 8 music exam). And if they want to celebrate those things, we should be pleased for them and support them! Smile Even if we have no problems speaking to strangers, no inclination to take up running, or no musical talent!

hazchem · 15/07/2012 21:58

OP Why not get a lovely feeding necklace. Monkey Mama on etsy is about to get beads in for each month of the year so you could have a bead for each month. You can add on a teething ring thingy so the little one can chew on it as teeth come in. They are loads prettier then I've described
(it's what I'd get to celebrate but we are a bit skint at the moment)

Oh and I think celebrating things we do as parents is important.

Tangointhenight · 15/07/2012 22:06

Sorry tik tok I didn't see that question apologies, it it can come across as 'look what I've done when lots of you haven't I deserve a big present', and as I said not everyone looks at it that way, most breast feeders, whereas that's how it may come across to those who haven't made it to the mark. You see a lot of my friends who bf want it to be seen as the normal natural thing to do, not something to get a huge pat on the back over. They don't want it to be an outstanding achievement, just something that they do to nurture their baby. And I'm guessing a lot of people feel that way. People kept telling me how well I'd done for 6 weeks and tbh I didn't care about their praise, all I was doing was feeding my baby the way nature intended it.

And no I didn't get a huge massive pat in the back for giving birth either.

fhdl34 · 15/07/2012 22:08

Congratulations OP, my DD reached 6 months 2 weeks ago, I didn't do anything to celebrate it but it was an emotional day for me and the day before (the last day of EBF). I consoled myself that we'd start BLW on her 6 month day but that she'd really still be EBF as she wouldn't swallow anything for ages - wrong! First thing she had to eat was a banana, after failing to pick it up she sucked it up off the tray and it turned up in her poo 5 hours later! But, she was so happy that day, experimenting with solids at breakfast and lunch that it made the transition that little bit easier. And now BFing feels even more special, especially when I feed her before a mealtime, she happily plays and eats her food, and then afterwards wants a BF. She's now started signing it too and it's just lovely to see her doing it and know what she wants.
You celebrate if you want to and how you want to, I'm proud of myself for my achievement and so should you be for yours.

Original poster
FreelanceMama · 15/07/2012 22:13

Apologies again for upsetting anyone. Really. Sorry.

I posted to get suggestions and had some fabulous ones thanks.

I'm a bit freaked out by where this thread has gone. I don't know what the Mumsnet etiquette is on leaving a thread you started once your original question has been answered but hopefully thanks for taking the time to reply, and have a good week, is sufficient.

Thanks for taking the time to reply, and have a good week.

OP posts: