I think this is the end -- 16mo DD seems to have lost interest in BFing

[eversomuch]

DD will be 16 months old next week. I've ExBF the whole time, but I think we're finally coming to the end: she's been gradually taking less and less milk, but for the past two days or so she has pretty much not fed at all (or for only a max of 10 seconds at a time).

I'm sort of sad about it because I really love BFing and had even thought I might end up tandem feeding when DS arrives in a few months, but I'm happy that I could let her reach the point where she's ready to stop on her own.

I think I'll continue offering through the weekend, and if she's still not interested, I guess I should stop. Unless there's any reason to think she might change her mind?

Your situation sounds similar to my own so here's my tuppence-worth :)

DD was 19 months when she self-weaned, over a couple of days, no stress, no big fuss, just not interested any more. I was 3 months pregnant with DS and had been completely prepared to continue to feed her, and tandem feed them both until they were ready to stop. As it happens DS is almost 6 months now and I'm actually pleased that I've only had him to worry about! Some information I read suggested that the fact I was pregnant may have changed my milk and put her off but I have no idea how much truth there is in that.

For me, I was pleased that the breastfeeding relationship with DD came to a natural end, that I didn't have to actively wean her, possibly against her wishes. I was pleased that I was able to give her that nourishment and comfort for 19 months. It was also a bit sad, I won't deny that. But I'm feeding DS now and, as I say, I'm kind of glad to have been a serial feeder rather than a tandem one.

I went with 'don't offer, don't refuse' once it was clear that she was probably done. I honestly don't know if your DD might change her mind but if she does it sounds like you'll be happy to carry on as before?

Best of luck whatever happens.

I'm not pregnant but my 16month old has lost interest- and he's always been a 'boob monster'. Now he just grabs his cup out of the cupboard and points at the fridge for cows milk, and he's never really drunk it at all until this week.

Like you I'm happy that he's doing it on his own and it feels natural, but I am sad as I never realised our last feed was our last feed. And I am curious as to what will happen to my boobs.

It is rare for a child to self-wean under 2 years of age. They do get more easily distracted around this age and if they are teething then they may want to nurse less. If you do want to carry on BF (there are still loads of benefits for you both!) then you can offer as much as you like. There's nothing wrong with offering, you can't force a child to BF. Skin-to-skin contact may help too, you could try taking a bath together.

EauRouge, you're right that it is rare. In our case, DD was only having a bedtime feed by 19 months anyway as I was working, so it wasn't an 'abrupt' end to breastfeeding. I would definitely have considered it unusual otherwise, and looked for another explanation.

We'd experienced a 9 day nursing strike at 9 months and enjoyed all the challenges that distraction and teething (oh goodness, the teething!) presented. We never gave up at a first hurdle iyswim. I know we would both have continued to enjoy many benefits but I am confident that DD had every opportunity and encouragement to continue. She didn't show an iota of interest after stopping so I have no regrets about breastfeeding ending earlier than I thought it might and indeed had hoped.

Sorry, Conrete, I didn't mean for my post to sound as though I was questioning you There are so many variables and emotions involved in weaning. It sounds as though yours was very gentle and respectful of your DD's feelings.

*Concrete. Clearly I've not had enough caffeine this morning. Double

Oh, EauRouge, I'm sorry, I did sound a bit defensive there but I honestly didn't feel you were raising an eyebrow at me. You were absolutely right to point out that it's rare for an under 2 to self-wean so if the OP's DD stopped suddenly there may be other reasons.

In fact it made me realise that to be entirely accurate for the OP I should have mentioned that from 15 to 19 months DD was reducing her breastfeeds till she then stopped. It was important info I should have included for context - a sudden stop would indeed be worth working through if the OP wishes.

To clarify: DD hasn't suddenly stopped -- she's been tapering off for ages now. Her feeds have been very, very short for the past month, just going on the boob for a few seconds or maybe a couple of minutes. She's teething at the moment, so maybe this has something to do with it, but I do have the sense that her behaviour is in line with the gradual reduction in BFing that she's been making on her own and nothing at all like the nursing strikes we endured when she was very little, or the months when she'd only take ebm in bottles (from about 8 months she then suddenly lost interest in bottles completely and went back to the boob).

As long as she even goes on for a few seconds (as she did early this morning and again after breakfast), I'll continue offering. :)