BF moan. One crap thing after another

[melliebobs]

This is just a moan. Don't feel like you need to reply I just need to vent

So when you go to the bf talk at the hospital they make bf sound the easiest thing in the world that might be a bit hard work to start with. They don't tell you about over supply and fast let downs and what a ball ache that is especially the vomit that can follow! They never mentioned if your baby has reflux (before treatment) that they can eat for 90mins at a time, throw mouthfuls of acid sick up everywhere and 20-30 mins later be ready for another 90 min feed. They sure as hell don't tell you about friggen thrush. I'm sat here feeding 17wk old DD in floods of tears cos of the pain and the girl is in pain too :(

It really has been one thing after the other. I'm tired, pissed off, wondering why I'm still doing it but at the same time too stubborn to quit :(

I hear you. They also don't tell you about mastitis, about unsupportive GPs who think breastfeeding should hurt and don't recognise thrush, about inverted and flat nipples or that from the postnatal ward onwards, the pro breastfeeding nhs lobby gives up and starts handing out and recommending formula, that cracked nipples and thrush (or whatever it is) means you can't even have a supportive hug because it hurts so much.

And bloody hormones that means the rational person has gone (the one who bought formula and bottles 'just on case' when pregnant) replaced with crying monster.

I'm sorry you are having a tough time :(
Have you got a good support group near you?

I'm a peer supporter and I do the antenatal workshops. After doing bf benefits, positioning and attachment etc we go by what questions the parents ask and what concerns they have so sometimes it is all about feeding in public or expressing to go back to works and sometimes it is about thrush and mastitis and pain. We'd never start launching into all the problems else we'd be faced with a group of 15 mothers, half of whom are only there because they are considering possibly trying to bf giving up before they have even walked out of the door!

We do of course make sure they know where to go after they get discharged for help.

I'm going to bfing drop ins, clinics etc...have had my latch checked by anyone who will look...

A little different, but if our NCT breastfeeding session instead of only plugging the benefits and "I've never met a woman who couldn't breastfeed" had said "sometimes women really struggle to breastfeed because of a,b,c, and d,e,f might help" rather than putting lanisoh & nipple shields in the "stuff you won't need to use" category I'd feel a bit better now.

I think the problem is that there are so many variables, so many different reasons why women could be having trouble. The hospital sessions we do are a couple of hours long so if we went through thrush, mastitis, over supply, under supply, tongue tie, lip tie and so on in addition to covering latch and the basics of demand feeding them women will feel bombarded and probably confused. If someone told you all the problems and wjat to do in each case would you really remember all the solutions when you needed them?

We do though accept there can be problems, we hand out sachets of lansinoh and tell them how wonderful it is and we make sure women know what normal, problem free bfd is so that if they are experiencing difficulties they know it isn't normal and they can access help. That is the theory anyway. as usual the area is understaffed :(

Ah well we're plodding on regardless. Dd also has possible cow protein intolerance so formula would have to come from the gp. Gp=unwanted hassle. I went yesterday and been prescribed cream and drops for thrush. I go to baby massage and at that session theres a lady from BFN and she's been great. Even if it is just to ask how we've managed that week

I'm with you there! I can't even complain too much, so far BF has been physically quite easy and pain free and DS isn't sicky. What I wish I'd known - your baby won't sleep as well as your formula feeding friends. He will need to feed all the time so you won't be able to go anywhere, do anything or leave him with anyone! And you'll always be wondering if you're doing it right!
DS is 6 weeks, gets colic and keeps getting horrid green diarrhoea, apparently because I'm feeding him 'wrong' :(

But.... every time I feel like giving up I just have to think of the benefits and keep going. And this is in the face of pretty much everyone I know who trying to persuade me otherwise. Even DP, who when DS was crying again just minutes after a feed was wonderfully supportive and said 'well it was your decision to breast feed'! Like he knows anything about the subject!
Whoops sorry I seem to have hijacked your thread to have my own rant! Just know that you're not alone! We only have one support group near us and it clashes with his weekly weigh in so not managed to go yet.

cydonia ff babies sleeping better isn't always true. I have friends with babies the same age as dd. there are bf babies sleeping through there are ff babies that are struggling. It really is more to do with the personality of the baby I think

First 6 weeks are hard but don't let it stop you going out or stuff. Just always have a spare fiver so you can go get a brew when bubs is a bit peckish!!! Dd always seems to go a bit longer between feeds when out n about. N if she is starving I treat myself to Starbucks. Everyone's a winner

I completely agree melliebobs

The focus is all on antenatal, when you're only really thinking about your pregnancy and labour.

i think some women (certainly me) only really begin to fathom out bf/ff when the baby has arrived and so many women stop so soon because of problems that could easily be handled with much better postnatal care.

i don't know how many times i pressed the buzzer on the postnatal ward for help with feeding, but i was desperate to get it right and get the support i needed.

back at home after discharge, i was on my own and there were no bf support numbers given. i just stumbled on MN one night and fortunately got some great advice which really helped.

I then went to all the bf and baby groups and met lots of other mothers who shared their experiences and we all helped each other.

i was amazed when i did my peer supported training what basic, I would say essential, BF information we were equipped with in comparison to what i received immediately post-natally.

I really hope that there are better programmes being put in place to help women post-natally, much more than quick visits with MW or HV, who whilst helpful are so pushed for time they can't give the support they really want.

perhaps instead of a generalist HV working with a mother in the first 8 weeks post birth, women could have a feeding specialist to work with -whether that's bf or ff. someone who supports your choices and has enough knowledge to really help.

I will add my breastfeeding woes too! 12 weeks in & we've had a full house - mastitis, thrush, tongue tie, cows milk allergy, ferocious let down, green poo, poor weight gain & to top it off vaginitis caused by the drop in oestrogen levels

I know ive been unlucky but I really wish I had been given more information on the complexities of BF. It wouldn't have put me off (although appreciate this isn't the case for everyone) & at least I'd have felt prepared.

Far too much focus is given on the labour & the birth which was nothing really compared to trying to feed your baby (& my birth was awful).I felt so clueless in the beginning & had absolutely no idea what I was doing or how boobs worked. It was really stressful.

I wish I had spent my NCT money on BF instead, would have been far more useful. I'm surprised there's not an equivalent - would be a huge money maker!