Not enjoying breastfeeding. Does it get better?

[McKayz]

DD is 16 days old and is breastfed. She is my 3rd but the 1st I have BF. I really really wanted to BF her, it was very important to me. I struggled with both boys and they were FF.

But I am not enjoying it. I think it is going very well, she latches on fine, she has plenty of wet and dirty nappies and has lots of periods of being awake and alert. She was 9lb 6.5oz when she was born and on day 5 she was 9lb. The MWs were happy with this and then didn't weigh her again. So I will be taking her next week probably to see if she is at birth weight.

The problems I have are all to do with me. I get a really horrid pain which is like a prickling sort of feeling before I get let down and my nipples seem to really hurt too just before I start leaking. I hate the leaking, if I am not really careful the pads overfill and then I get soaking wet tops. I hate being in a bra 24/7 I have to sleep in one so I don't soak the bed and then obviously have to wear one during the day.

I will add that DH works away so I have done everything since she was about 5 days old. He should be home on Monday. So I have to try and sort out boys, sort out the dog, feed everyone etc.

I know that some of this is obviously to do with the fact that I can't seem to put her down for 5 seconds to go make breakfast, have a wee etc. The boys would happily just lie in moses basket or in a bouncy chair. But that might not have anything to do with them being FF.

Do the pains stop eventually and does the leaking stop? Does BF get easier?

I am seriously considering thinking about FF just because I am so fed up of being in pain

Everything is perfect with her and life in general. Its just this issue.

Thanks.

Painful letdown does ease - mine really hurt for the first 6 weeks or so, then as my supply settled, so did my letdown reflex, and now I hardly feel it at all.

As for breastpads - try washable ones, I know it sounds like a PITA bt they work loads better, are lots softer, and can just go in the normal washing. Also you can try pressing with the heel of your hand against the outside of your boob (quite hard) when you feel the tingling start (if you are not feeding at the time, obv.) and it will stop the letdown quite quickly.

Could you get a nursing vest with built in support as this will hold the breastpads in place but is loads more comfy to sleep in?

And do you have a sling? Only way I ever got anything done for the first 6 months with my klingon baby

Sorry if that seems like a barrage of solutions

It gets easier, it really does.

Lillypadz are great, worn with normal over the top during the first few weeks.

I had the weird prickly pain for a while and other nipple pain for 8 weeks, but I had a bad latch - wish I'd seen a bf counsellor earlier.

After seeing her and my son's mouth was getting bigger and my supply settled so no massive leaks - all around 8 weeks for me but for friends it was earlier - it started being lovely. I started feeling the oxytocin, like a big glass of wine or a fat spliff(!) - couldn't feel it earlier because of the pain and stress. But after that it was lovely. Wish you lots of luck, whatever you do xx

I do have a sling but so far she's just screamed in it but will keep trying it.

Hi and congrats! What you are describing is completely normal. But no-one warns you in advance how time-consuming bf-ing is and how it can be damn painful. The leaking you describe is totally normal. It will settle down in no time. Most likely by 3-4 weeks. The only advice I can offer is to buy extra bras and pads and just keep changing them often. (Have you tried putting two in each cup?) Also try sleeping on a towel so that you can go bra-less at night. Again have a couple of spares to hand and change if necessary.

The prickly let-down pain is also normal and also settles down in time. You will always get it to an extent but it decreases in intensity over time. Are you getting any other sort of pain? If not, you are doing well, my LO is over 3 weeks old and my nipples are soooo sore.

I also have an older child to look after and it's very difficult to juggle that with breastfeeding. To establish breastfeeding (and enjoy it!) you really need to just have the time to sit, relax & feed but that is NOT easy when you have other kids to attend to. All I can say is, it will get easier, feeds will get a LOT shorter and she will eventually go mush longer between feeds. To be honest, you sound like you're doing really well, to have managed 16 days, with no hubby around & two older kids to look after, wow. Most wouldn't have got that far. Well done. HTH

I am hoping next week when I can just sit down and relax things will be easier.

It's no big deal if you chuck it in or mix feed or whatever. Won't make the slightest bit of difference to your child's well-being. Don't feel pressured to continue as you have done for fear you won't be a perfect mother. That's complete nonsense & you shouldn't let it get to you. Plenty of 'perfect' mothers FF. I am one.

I'm not bothered about being a perfect mum. I'm bothered about the fact I've spent a long time feeling like I failed the boys and now that finally BF is going well and I don't have stupid MWs I'm not enjoying it. I spent my whole pregnancy reading up on bf and being prepared. But nowhere does it say that you might actually not like bf.

I don't like cooking dinner most days but I still do it. Not that keen on changing nappies either, but needs must!
It does get easier, but check if you have thrush as it can cause pain. Cutting out sugary foods and citrus will ease it if so.
Feeding a baby is a necessity, it's not a hobby!
With DD1 I guess I probably did enjoy sitting quietly feeding her, but with DD3 (8 weeks) I can't "enjoy" sitting feeding her as there is too much to do. Feeds are quicker now and the convenience of always having food on tap makes life much easier. It helps if you get good at holding and feeding one handed while you make breakfast etc.
Well done!!

I honestly hated it for the first 8 weeks. Hated it. By 3, 4 months I loved it. And by then it's easier than bottles, and very lovely to do. Hang in there.

OP, this is clearly a big deal for you, and nothing you say indicates anything other than a genuine desire, from inside you, to breastfeed...it does not sound like you have been pressured to make this choice.

You understand well that situations and babies are different - your boys may have been happy to lie in a basket or bouncy chair however they were fed, and your own life with this baby is different from what it was with them, because before you had only one, or two, children and now you have three (and are doing more, with less help, from what it sounds).

At present, things are difficult - but much of it is early days issues: the leaking, the pain on let down, and the intense need your baby has to be close to you.

If you call a breastfeeding helpline, they will listen and help you work out ways to make life a bit easier and will certainly affirm that things will get better within a short time....the whole convenience thing of bf comes later, for instance.

Lots of things to do with parenting are hard, but they can be got through with support and help - you could do with more of both those things, I think :(

OP I hear you. The first 8 weeks are a bit bewildering and painful but they really, really do get better.

I didn't really enjoy BF at the start but now at 7.5 months, I really enjoy it. It's convenient and I feel that it's really helped me bond with my DD after a really not nice birth.

See times like this it's fine(as fine as 3am can be!) she's happily feeding, no pain or anything. It's that horrible prickling pain that puts me off. But if it usually goes then that's ok.

At least if she's BF I don't have to get out of bed to sort out a bottle.

To be honest, if my Mum hadn't told me that some days in the first few weeks you really will feel fed up with it and want to jack it all in then I might never have persevered. I'm doing it second time round with twins and even though I successfully fed my DD, I still found the early days hard again. Echo what others have said that a lot of your problems sound like early weeks stuff.

Having said all that, if you get really shooting pains then it might be worth exploring things like thrush?

Anyway, just wanted to post as you sound really down.

Oh McKayz I really hated it the first couple of weeks DS was home too (around day 16). Really hated it. And like you, there wasn't anything wrong, per say - I just resented having to do it and didn't like the discomfort.

The letdown pain does ease, as does the leaking.

DS will scream when I put him in the sling too, but after about 5 mins he usually calms and nods off only to scream when I eventually take him out as I removed him from a nice warm snugly place

You are doing an absolute stellar job looking after all 3 on your own until DH comes home, especially as this is the hardest bit. As BFing seems to be going well for you, I promise it will get easier very soon.

Stick with it a bit longer, you can do it! ((hug))

Thank you Tea I am going to stick with it. Its nice knowing other people felt like I do but are still bf and enjoying it.

i also reckon you're doing great looking after 3 dc plus dog!

i found it hard going with just one toddler to chase.

DS2 does wriggle a bit when you first put him in the sling, but as soon as i walk around he falls asleep quite quickly. (as long as he's fed and happy - if he's hungry he dribbles on my top and keeps wriggling!) it's made a big difference having hands free to make lunch for me and DS1 for example. :)

hope it all feels a bit better soon.

Thank you

It is actually quite a bit easier than I thought it would be. The main problems are that DD always wants feeding on the school run and DS1 always asks for a drink when I get DD latched on. I am sure they both do it on purpose.

I don't think she is always hungry when I feed her as sometimes she just falls asleep straight away so maybe she just wants a cuddle. So if that is the case hopefully come Monday DH can hold her so I can run to the toilet without her crying.