BF a 3 month old: a no children wedding invite & what to wear if i do go!...

[SirCharles]

we have been invited to a wedding next month which has a no kids policy on the invite. We will not be staying over as it is not at a hotel but i thouught i might see if the venue has a room we can put the baby in, along with a babysitter (or monitor...?). Clearly I Cannot go if i cannot take my LO.... we have had many feeding & weight & low milk supply issues which means at 6 weeks BF is only just establishing itself so I dont want to plan to be too far from him in the short term.

What would you do? My DH will go whatever happens.

If I do go I would welcome recommendations for dresses suitable for BF in...... i have big boobs which his head does not hide so i fear it may be hard to find somehting i can look good in and remain discreet.....!!!

Personally I would check with the Venue itself, the no DC policy might come from there, rather than the couple themselves -

IF the venue are okay with a breastfeeding Mum & newborn going, then I would sod the invite, plead ignorance & go anyway - but then I would be pretty p'd off at getting a no DC invite & be expected to leave my new born behind - its hardly an invite for the both of you is it

As for clothing, wear any dress that is suitable for a wedding & that you feel comfy & pretty in, but gives easy access for feeding - a multi print would be best, with bits of cream or beige, (won't show milk or vomit) then accessorise with a lightweight shawl, or throw of some kind, sequinned or beaded perhaps - perhaps something in a cream, or beige to hide any dribbles - you can hide baby under there whilst you feed

I have a wedding in September that I'm dreading as I can't take DD with me. She will be 10 months old. We are doing blw and isn't consuming a great deal so is still having quite a few breastfeeds. So I'm worried that we still may be in this situation 2 months down the line! However I have dd's christening in 3 weeks and I've bought a dress from AX Paris. I too have big boobs and it's only now that DD is hiding them a bit but still no discretion when feeding!!

i'd speak to the couple, maybe they won' mind such a small baby as 1)they won't need to pay for meal and 2)LO won't be running round causing fuss (you can take them out of ceremony if the couple is v worried.

regarding bfeeding clothes, these are nice but pricey www.tiffanyrose.com/maternity/clothes/nursing.html?partner=google_generic-uk_nursing&gclid=CMPQ1-bNhbECFQwjfAodMxxFPQ

for my brothers wedding when ds was 3mo i bought a nice jersey wrap top from h&M which i could pull aside, and a nice silk scarf to match my silk skirt to cover up. plus LO's head will be bigger by then :)

Are you sure it excludes "babes in arms"? My interpretation would be all annoying and loud older children.

I think u need to speak to the couple as tbh if I was having a child free wedding I wouldn't be happy with what ur proposing as other people may think you have been made an exception and feel aggrieved causing awkwardness for them with other guests. If you ask them, explain you wont be able to attend if there isn't any flexibility and they happy then great but I think it needs to be their decision.

thanks for the comments & links!

Gina where did you get that AX PAris dress from?

DH will speak to his mate and see how the land lies, I shall speak to the venue and see if there is a suitable spot for a baby to sleep and then we shall make a decision.

If you do end up going I can recommend one of these dresses for being really comfortable and easy to feed in. Not very exciting but with some nice shoes/jewellery can look quite smart.

To be honest if you're going to go, I would ditch the dress idea and go for something in two pieces, the top bit of which is some sort of vaguely stretchy material. I say that as someone with ginormous breasts who never got on with the dress/ feeding combination :)

I don't think anyone would blame you for not going, especially in this situation where breastfeeding is still being established. Send your DP as an envoy and enjoy an afternoon with your feet up on the sofa, I say :) .

How far away is the wedding? Could you leave do with someone and nip back to feed LO? I went to a no children wedding when my dd was three months old - I didn't go to the ceremony but made it for the meal, then went home, fed dd and then when back for a bit of the night do. There's a lot of waiting around at some weddings so they prob won't notice you disappearing. Also, from your post I'm guessing that your LO is 6 weeks old? A lot can change in the next 6 weeks and things might be easier.

Assuming you can't get the bride zilla to relent... I'd arrange for a babysitter/day nanny/your friend/aunt to stay somewhere nearby and text you anytime they think a feed is needed. I used an agency to get a babysitter for the evening reception bit of my DB's wedding so both DH and I could go (I couldn't have left them in a hotel room on their own - have heard too many horror stories even though we were in the same hotel).

Even though you're not staying over one of the other guests who is might be willing to let you borrow their room during the day so your helper is comfy.

Babes with babies have lovely dresses (but pricey)

www.babeswithbabies.com/section_category.aspx?section_id=14

I can't believe that the 'no kids' policy would apply to a small bf baby? I hope your friends see sense and allow you to take LO

I went on their website. They have some lovely dresses.

I think most people wouldn't mind a breastfed baby at a wedding even when no kids are invited. Defo suss it out. My brother in law is getting married when DD will be 3 months & I just got a dress in coast. It's called Olivia jersey dress and it's just a stretchy wrap dress. Easy access to boobs and will throw a pashmina around us while feeding. My boobs are huge at the mo but it's quite flattering.