Staring children and bfing

[thevenerablebidet]

I was in the changing and feeding room of my local M&S feeding DS when a granny came in with 2 kids - the girl was about 8-10 and a boy who was a little younger. They came in to use the loo.

When the girl was there, and particularly when her gran was in the cubicle, she was very obviously staring at me feeding and smirking. DS is 6 weeks old and I have fed in front of other people before with no bother, but not when someone else was watching, and it was making me feel a bit uncomfortable.

I didn't know whether or not to say anything, and they left before I made up my mind!

What's the usual etiquette with dealing with other people's children gawping at you feeding?

i just smile, my own children are used to it and dont stare really but on the occasion we did when out, i would say 'the baby is having its special mummy milk like you did when little, now dont distract the baby' and then divert their attention somewhere else!

that little girl may have never seen a baby being bfed before, it could me a memory that sticks with her and if you looked relaxed and happy it could well be a positive association with bfeeding for her when she is older.

I would ignore. I don't think there is any etiquette, but to be honest I can imagine I might have stared myself at that age. It is quite fascinating to a child if you've never seen it before. I'm guessing the 'smirk' was perhaps embarrassment mixed with the interest. I would always let it go unless someone was being overtly unpleasant or creepy, which doesn't seem the case here with a relatively young child.

Just smile and say 'baby's having his lunch'.

I'd just ignore. Would probably smile and just carry on. Wouldn't have a problem with a child showing interest in breastfeeding.

Ach, sorry you had a bit of a crap experience.

I've found kids to either be curious or not notice, tbh. However, if a child has been amused /peplexed, then I'll say 'this is a, my wee baby and he's just having some lunch' or make some chit chat like hi, you helping granny do the shopping todday?

At 8-10, she's probably very aware of changes in her own body and a bit obsessed with getting boobs/waist/bum, etc, so , not that it excuses making you uncomfy!

i would probably say baby's just having his milk.

this doesnt bother me. its just s childs curiosity. it does annoy me when the mum/gran etc gets embarrassed or annoyed and ushers them away without explaining to them or worse gives you a dirty look for talking to them.

Thanks - next time I will engage and explain (and quietly hope that the child goes away and leaves me in peace :))

5madthings - I didn't want to do/say anything that implied I breastfeeding was something to be secretive about. But beyond that, I also don't think its reasonable for the girl to expect that every bfeeding mother is going to be relaxed about having an audience!

I would see it as an opportunity to introduce a child who obviously has no prior knowledge of bfing to it

theverable you are going to find that your DS stares at all manner of things as he grows up. Thankfully, adults realise this is just a tenet of young children.

wordfactory - yes, but I'm sure I'll also do my best to discourage him from overtly staring at random people too. Whether they're breastfeeding or not!

Thanks all, particularly nethuns!